Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking back the wine

153 replies

Porpoiselife · 16/03/2017 11:02

We had a couple of friends over for dinner at the weekend and they brought a bottle of white and a bottle of red wine with them. I had already got some wine in but we ended up drinking their white wine and also opened the red but only about a glass was drank from it.

At the end of the evening as they were leaving she says 'thanks for a lovely evening, oh i'll take our wine, we can enjoy that tomorrow' chuckle chuckle. I was a bit errrr ok, so they left with the rest of their wine.

AIBU to think that's a bit odd? More so as it was opened, but even if it wasn't opened surely you don't take it with you when you leave?

OP posts:
amberdillyduck · 18/03/2017 21:46

So, I'm meant to buy in whatever my guests want to drink, and enough for the night, regardless of whether or not I'd drink it. And in exchange I get bottles of wine?

No. You select wine to go with the food that you are cooking. They either drink that or drink water

Delatron · 18/03/2017 22:05

Yes it's called hosting! You provide drinks for guests; wine, beer, soft drinks and whatever else they may like.

DrAbbyYates · 18/03/2017 22:07

So, I'm meant to buy in whatever my guests want to drink, and enough for the night, regardless of whether or not I'd drink it. And in exchange I get bottles of wine?

No. You provide what will go with the food that you are serving. No-one expects you to provide a fully-stocked drinks cabinet with a selection of spirits. That's what pubs are for.

Whatjusthappenedexactly · 18/03/2017 23:54

We have the same friends round for dinner fairly often. Anything they bring that is not consumed they take away again. Wine pudding, chocolate, soft drinks ... They will simply open the fridge / freezer and remove.

I've even known them to reveal a secret stash of beer on their way out ( just in case ours ran out I presume). Hmm.

BlondeBecky1983 · 19/03/2017 00:02

Very stingy! It's a gift to the host surely. People who do that come across as very rude and frankly weird!

MrsHathaway · 19/03/2017 00:33

Grin bunny - it's Lent!

Last time it was my turn to do pudding it was black forest brownie which contains 350g dark chocolate and half a pint of double cream. And my pavlova recipe contains Maltesers and booze.

But it's Lent, so.

frenchfancy81 · 19/03/2017 00:51

Tight.As.

MidniteScribbler · 19/03/2017 03:12

What is all this leftover wine business?

I'm Australian. We drink it all. No etiquette concerns then.

Bitchycocktailwaitress · 19/03/2017 04:20

This thread is hilarious. When DH and I have anyone over for dinner we always supply matched wines with each course, and plenty of them. It would be absolutely unacceptable for guests of ours to feel the need to top themselves up with their own supply. I would feel like a bad hostess if I didn't meet all their needs. Should they have unusual tastes, I normally know this before they arrive. E.g. Only drink white spirits or cider etc.

Yes, friends always bring something as a hostess gift, either a bottle or flowers or similar.

I will serve their own wine if it is appropriate for the meal, or if we get really pissed and run out lol. Taking your stash home is for student parties.

Bluntness100 · 19/03/2017 06:00

I'm genuinely trying to imagine bringing my own wine, opening it myself, sitting drinking it myself, then taking what's left home. Belle, does everyone do this? So say six people at your dinner party all sitting with their own wine bottle?

The only time I've ever encountered such a thing is students. If I attend or host a dinner party, people give me wine, I or they put it away with the rest of the booze and ask them what they want to drink, no one really knows what wine or whose wine is being drunk.

SherbrookeFosterer · 19/03/2017 17:57

Maybe they thought you were just going to chuck it down the sink and they don't like waste.

Best to just laugh it off.

Saj1988 · 19/03/2017 18:05

Really bad manners. Wine, flowers or chocolates should be brought to a dinner party as a gift.

Craigie · 19/03/2017 18:16

Nobody has EVER done that to me. What a fucking cheek. You take the wine as a gift to the hosts, not to drink while you are there, and certainly not to bloody take home again. You need better friends!

38cody · 19/03/2017 19:26

How awful
I have a friend who had a neighbour RETURN the next day and ask for his back as he'd noticed it never got opened! They'd drank s good few bottles at a dinner party but apparently not his one!

Next time have a quick swig on the doorstep as you hand it over!

I think it's disgraceful. But a bit funny - folk are odd.

Jaxhog · 19/03/2017 19:48

Woah! Now that's pretty rude in my book. The wine you take is a gift.

Although I do get a teeny bit annoyed if people don't serve up the good bubbly I bring. I would never take it home though!!!

expatinscotland · 19/03/2017 19:54

'I have a friend who had a neighbour RETURN the next day and ask for his back as he'd noticed it never got opened! They'd drank s good few bottles at a dinner party but apparently not his one!'

'Oh, what a pity! Unfortunately it was smashed on the floor as we were cleaning up.' And he'd never be invited to mine again.

moomoo1965 · 19/03/2017 20:02

Ok - going to be a bit controversial BUT do remember leaving dinner parties (certainly a few sheets to the wind and feeling maybe a tad too early cos taxi booked or everyone else leaving) AND.... pondering on whether we have a little nightcap at home and deciding (in drunken and therefore very reasonable state) to take half empty bottle home to finish off!!!! Then wake up next morning to find aforesaid empty bottle.,.. and cringe with embarrassment - so shoot me!! Hopefully good friends would forgive alcohol induced faux pas!!

Trb17 · 19/03/2017 20:04

I've known two people who've done this. It's embarrassing as anything you take with you is a gift to the host if you don't drink it.

CarmenWedmore · 19/03/2017 20:36

I really can't see what the big deal is. I wouldn't do it at someone else's dinner party but I honestly wouldn't be bothered if a friend of mine did this at the end of the evening. She was probably pissed and decided to take the rest of an opened bottle home. So bloody what.

Sometimes, 'etiquette' is just the biggest load of old bollocks EVER.

Ginseng1 · 19/03/2017 20:48

It's tight!! Couple years ago we had some old friends of DH fly in for the weekend with us. We picked them up from airport put them up & fed them for the w/e the usual. They brought a lovely bottle of scotch with them & I thought that's v nice of them. They & my DH had a couple of glasses from it (I hate whiskey!) over the w/e but was still 3/4 full. As we were going to the airport the guy said "oh crap we forgot to bring the whiskey" I burst out laughing thinking he was joking - he wasn't n we didn't have time to turn back. The goodbyes were awkward & we've never seen them since!

RevEm · 19/03/2017 21:10

Some people don't like waste...and some people just like wine!

pollymere · 19/03/2017 21:59

Maybe they thought you'd preferred the white and thought it would go to waste otherwise? I've done that with stuff but only after asking the host in a slightly politer fashion!

pinkpudding82 · 19/03/2017 22:54

My brothers girlfriend does this sort of thing but not with wine as she doesn't drink really. It drives us mad. One time, she asked my mum for the bottle of Baileys my mum and I had been drinking one day but hadn't finished, "to give to a friend who likes it"! I just said no I would finish it! I felt sorry for the friend who would be offered dregs of a strangers bottle of booze... She also once asked for the bag of leftover kale we hadn't used in a recipe, for her colleagues hamster!! These are just two occasions of 10 years worth of asking to take home pretty much anything. We've told my brother how bizarre this is but he stuck with her (he definitely still thinks he's a student and is cheap with some things and overly generous at other times). They bring bottles of cheap pudding wine that nobody drinks...

OctoPawpaJetter · 20/03/2017 00:16

I have never ever come across this sort of behaviour. Totally odd.

CountessWindyBottom · 20/03/2017 00:37

This is quite possibly the cheapest thing I've ever heard. Obviously no manners whatsoever. Did they know how to use their cutlery?

Swipe left for the next trending thread