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AIBU?

Husbands ex has stolen baby name

168 replies

Deedee3311 · 14/03/2017 19:10

his ex who he already has a son with who has just had a baby has actually stolen the name we were going to use. We are on amicable terms and she knew what name we had chosen, now she has robbed it. We call the baby by this name and it is THE name we want, but his son can't have two sisters called the same thing can he?! Livid.

OP posts:

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greedygorb · 15/03/2017 11:24

Who does stuff like that? Of course you don't own the name but ffs it's pretty bad form on the ex's part. If she had already chosen it she should've said otherwise it looks pretty shitty and passive aggressive. Call your daughter something else. And I'm not an overly sentimental person but I do think it's ok to be upset about something you've your heart set on as important as a baby name. It's not like she came and stole the ideas for the wallpaper you were thinking of using.

ExConstance · 15/03/2017 16:10

How can you choose a name before a baby is born, you need to see it to see if the name fits the person!

zeeboo · 15/03/2017 16:16

We named our children as soon as we found out the gender at the scan and I told EVERYONE and referred to the bump by name every time I spoke about the pregnancy. Anyone who copied (as they were fairly unusual names) would have looked a total dick. It worked all 3 times

MerryMarigold · 15/03/2017 17:31

Theonlylivingboy, I think you'll find that I'm right. It is not her Ex who had the baby. It is her DH's ex who has stolen the name and if the girls are going to be sisters, it must be his baby or they wouldn't be related at all. So all in all a weird and complex situation.

PeterVincentVampireKiller · 15/03/2017 17:44

OP says her DP and ex's son's sisters will have the same name so I'm presuming the girls are unrelated.

Wifeandstepmum · 15/03/2017 17:54

Op have yiu changed some of the details here to make it more anonymous? Is it your ex who stole a name before you got pregnant?

NerrSnerr · 15/03/2017 18:09

Merry surely it's her husband's son who will have the two sisters. From how I read it they won't be sisters at all- they'll both just have a half brother in common?

The OP's husband and his ex have a son
The OP and her husband have their unborn daughter
The ex and her new partner have the daughter with the 'stolen' name.

MerryMarigold · 15/03/2017 18:38

What's the problem then? They just have a half brother in common. No grandparents, or even parents in common.

user1486499646 · 15/03/2017 18:42

Your not being unreasonable. You just dont do that if someone tells your their naming there child something youdont do it she skunds like a tit

HebeBadb · 15/03/2017 18:49

oh don't have two sisters with basically the same name. That is so thoughtless.

VestalVirgin · 15/03/2017 19:06

She has only stolen it if you allow her to.

I'd name the child the same name you had chosen, so she knows she won't get away with it.
Give her a middle name she can go by if she decides later in life that she finds it awkward.

ThatsSoFetch · 15/03/2017 19:25

My sister attempted to steal mine for a girl!!!!!!!

We were pregnant at the same time though I found out first and we decided on a name for a girl or boy pretty much immediately. My sister on the other hand had always had her girls names picked out. We found out we were having a boy and she said then that she wanted to call her daughter our girls name! I was so upset!

I did kick up a fuss tbh. And feel guilty for doing so. Though understood that at the end of the day, what she calls her child really is her decision. She didnt use it in the end. She actually used one of the names she always had as her choice.

We have since had a daughter and we didnt call her tthe name that we had chosen so long ago - in a way it felt a little tainted due to the past but my OH named our daughter and I cannot imagine her being called anything different now - she suits it perfectly.

Willyoujustbequiet · 15/03/2017 19:33

Yabu

They arent related!

UnicornButtplug · 15/03/2017 19:39

I would be a bit miffed tbh and probably pick another name.

My half sister called her son born 5 years after mine the exact same name, so my dad has two gransons with the same name, first and middle name.

When I was pregnant with DD my best friend went nuts when I told her I was thinking about using Isobel because that was going to be her DD name. She was neither pregnant nor in a relationship at this point.

Neither of those names have any family significance either.

ImFuckingSpartacus · 15/03/2017 19:45

They arent related!

Not to each other, no. But both to one little boy. Can no-one put themselves in his position for a second, instead of the adults whining about wanting to use their favourite names?

Imagine being that boy. "Yeah, I got a new sister, we have them same dad, her name is Sophie. And then I got another new sister, we have the same mum, her name is Sophie as well. Yes, they are all stupid gits with no thought for any of the kids in their messed up relationships, aren't they?"

Chickendipper12 · 15/03/2017 20:09

ImFuckingSpartacus

Clearly not the names of the children is far more important then the children themselves.
I cant get over how childish this post is in first I feel sorry for the poor lad x

WattdeEll · 15/03/2017 20:17

I'd be miffed too, but secretly so. Instead I would pick another name insisting that the name you said you liked/she picked was your "stunt name"to stop copycats picking the name you really like but kept to yourself.

HappyFlappy · 15/03/2017 22:48

Oooooh!

Cunning!

That's a good idea Watt

And then you can say "Hahahahaha - I wouldn't call a dog Archipellega*"

Probably not really the name OP* chose.

ComputerUserNumptyTwit · 15/03/2017 23:09

I don't think I'd use a name I'd discussed and chosen with an ex for a baby in a subsequent relationship tbh. Which is probably a bit daft.

I agree with others that this AIBU hinges little on how currently popular the name is though, or on how unusual it is. If it's your nan's name or the name of the place you first met your ex, it would be weird of your ex to have gone along with it.

NotCarylChurchill · 15/03/2017 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Finola1step · 15/03/2017 23:18

Has anyone else noticed that the OP has disappeared?

Bambambini · 15/03/2017 23:20

Happened to me with a friend. She had hers just before me and they named him the name i had told her i wanted if i had a boy. Was miffed but she probably liked the name all along and didn't steal it at all. Was going to change my name but though - sod it. Was no big deal in the end.

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coolaschmoola · 15/03/2017 23:30

I always think that the first to birth gets the right to choose.

NotCarylChurchill · 15/03/2017 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ADishBestEatenCold · 15/03/2017 23:35

Two posts from Op at beginning of first page ... nothing else in next five pages. AIBU to hate threads like this?

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