Husbands ex has stolen baby name

[Deedee3311]

his ex who he already has a son with who has just had a baby has actually stolen the name we were going to use. We are on amicable terms and she knew what name we had chosen, now she has robbed it. We call the baby by this name and it is THE name we want, but his son can't have two sisters called the same thing can he?! Livid.

[wikedminx]

The name that I so wanted to call my son was stolen from me :( the worst bit of it was that it was a Calf that got the name!! A neighbouring farmer nicked it for his pedigree Bull calf!
I wanted to call my son Conall, Had to change to my 2nd choice of Connor.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Dear Universe

No one owns a name (except Beyoncé who I'm sure copyrighted Blue Ivy's name ). If they named their child something it's probably because they liked the name, which incidentally, thousands of other children will have. Not to have a pop at you. Get over yourself

You're welcome

[ImFuckingSpartacus]

In terms of practicality it is weird but surprisingly common. I have two step brothers with the same name. If one of my step brothers had been a girl they were going to have my name so that would have been interesting

Thats not at all the same, Step siblings arrive in the family with their names, nobody purposefully called 2 of the same name at the same time.
Why do people keep saying that its common, and then quoting completely different scenarios? It's not common anywhere, not in Ireland, not in the UK, not anywhere.
It's patently ridiculous to suggest this is normal or ok.

[MaeveTheRave]

Did somebody say that this is normal in Ireland! lol. Every form of madness is passed off at some point as ''well they do it in Ireland'' on mumsnet! Usually by third generation Irish people to be fair to the British and to mumsnet!

My Irish granddad was born in 1907 and he received the same name as his older brother who had died before he was born. Even then, some people found that odd.

[sycamore54321]

There is no part of Ireland in which it is normal or usual or common or unremarkable for a person to have two brothers called Jim or two sisters called Mary. Giving the little boy two sisters of the same name is inviting invasions of privacy - any time through his entire life that he mentions his two sisters Anne and Anne, he will be subjected to at the least mild expressions of interest, and all thee way to nosy questions and accusations of making it up.

[Cloudyapples]

Whose idea was the name? Yours or DH? Maybe it was a name they had discussed previously when they were still together and that's why she has chosen it too?

[HelenaGWells]

Amicable terms or not I can't understand why you would even tell her the name? This is why if you adore a name never tell anyone else who will have a baby before you.

In terms of practicality it is weird but surprisingly common. I have two step brothers with the same name. If one of my step brothers had been a girl they were going to have my name so that would have been interesting.

Blended families often end up with duplicate names.

[HappyFlappy]

AIBU to hate threads like this?

No, you aren't Dish.

It makes me feel as though someone has thrown a cat into my pigeon cree and then run off, sniggering.

[HappyFlappy]

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by the fact most people just aren't thinking about you."

Brilliant quotation Churchill.

We should probably all embroider it onto a sampler and hang it own a prominent place. I'm certainly guilty of assuming other people are as interested in me as I am, and even I find me pretty boring.

[Firsttimemama2017]

I think you have to chose a new name...annoying but the poor little boy can't have two sisters with the same name!

[ImFuckingSpartacus]

2 relatives? Its not finding out your grannies had the same name, its your two new siblings at basically the same time! Thats not common, thats not normal.
You're being deliberately obtuse.

It's unnecessary, its selfish, its unfair. It's confusing for a child.

Why be a dick for no reason?

[JungleInTheRumble]

OP might have disappeared because some people are (in my opinion) being unnecessarily harsh!

It's a crappy situation but there's not much you can do OP. How long do you have till your baby arrives? You should definitely start a thread in baby names - you'll get loads of helpful ideas in there and maybe you'll find something you like even more.

[ImFuckingSpartacus]

You genuinely think a child is going to be messed up for life simply by having two relatives with the same name, even though they are unrelated to each other? You make it sound like child abuse, rather than the common, perfectly normal everyday thing it is

I think its unfair to do that to a kid who clearly already has a lot of upheaval and shit going on. Depending on his age, this could be a hue deal in many ways and I have no clue why you would want to make it harder for him. It's a bit sick really.

And it is NOT by any stretch common and every day and perfectly normal to have 2 sisters with the same name. Unless you're a Jeremy Kyle guest.

[AlmostAJillSandwich]

Sorry i meant does it matter if Dh's ex's family think you used her name.

[AlmostAJillSandwich]

At the end of the day, most people i know give their kids nicknames which are either shortened versions of their actual name, or cutesy names (one friend calls her daughter pickle, for example).
As such the actual name will only be used on official stuff. I had 3 good friends in school, 2 named catherine, one Kathryn. all pronounced the same. One was Cat, one Cath, one Katie.

Even if both of this little boys half sisters end up with the same first and middle names, it is very, very unlikely both will go by the same nickname or get confused with each other, especially as the only family they will have in common is him. Most people will only know of one of his sisters so not get confused between the two.

Yes, it is possible it is a name the OP's husband liked and discussed with his ex as well as op, it may be ex didn't have a name chosen and just loved the name op mentioned, pure coincidence ex had always loved the name, or it could be a spiteful act trying to name steal.

Use the name OP, anyone who knows you will know you've named your bump that from day one knowing it was a little girl, and anyone who didn't know and thinks you stole etc, obviously doesn't know you or isn't important in your life anyway. Does it really matter if your ex's family/friends think you used the same name, you're unlikely to ever meet them, and if you did, you could put them straight you had that name picked from the beginning and it just happened both of you wanted the same name. Not that you'll ever need to explain yourself to anyone.

[ADishBestEatenCold]

Two posts from Op at beginning of first page ... nothing else in next five pages. AIBU to hate threads like this?

[coolaschmoola]

I always think that the first to birth gets the right to choose.

[Bambambini]

Happened to me with a friend. She had hers just before me and they named him the name i had told her i wanted if i had a boy. Was miffed but she probably liked the name all along and didn't steal it at all. Was going to change my name but though - sod it. Was no big deal in the end.

[Finola1step]

Has anyone else noticed that the OP has disappeared?

[ComputerUserNumptyTwit]

I don't think I'd use a name I'd discussed and chosen with an ex for a baby in a subsequent relationship tbh. Which is probably a bit daft.

I agree with others that this AIBU hinges little on how currently popular the name is though, or on how unusual it is. If it's your nan's name or the name of the place you first met your ex, it would be weird of your ex to have gone along with it.