To make the boys share a cabin

[MrsWatt]

We have booked our holiday and have decided to go on a cruise around the med. I have booked two staterooms for our family of six and it is causing a lot of problems among my kids.

In the first cabin.
We have me and dh + DS(aged 4) and DS (aged 15). We booked a large room with a balcony since we all need the space,

The second cabin is going to be my stepson and my son both aged 17. I booked an interior since balconies were sold out and ocean view was only available on the lower decks and what I've read is that it can be very noisy. So me and dh upgraded the room to a luxury cabin. It isn't the biggest room but fine for two people to have enough space. The problem we have is that when i upgraded the room two singles became a double (i thought it would be a choice it wasn't).

My son doesn't want to share with Dss and instead wants to sleep on the sofa in our room. Aibu to think he is being a massive brat or should i let him. We have spent a lot on this holiday and changing arrangements at this point isn't an option ainu

I do think both of you need to look into the issue with the step son, but that's for another thread.
He needs to know such behaviour is not acceptable, but I suspect there will be deeper issues that should be addressed, not necessarily with punishments, though.

So DSS doesn't sound very nice at all the more you talk about him. Are you still thinking that your DS is a brat for not wanting to share a bed with him?

I have never been on a cruise where the beds cannot be reconfigured to either double or single beds and that includes NCL. You need to go on cruise critic web site and ask the posters on there. They will tell you that your room attendant will configure the bed/s any way you like.

Your two 17 years olds need to shut up and stop moaning. NCL cruises are fabulous and IMHO better to have to share a bathroom between 2 than 4. Tell them any more moaning and they wont be going.

*So what about:

Room 1: You, DS17, DS 15, DS 4

Room 2: DH, DSS*

This should be fine.

So DSS doesn't sound very nice at all the more you talk about him. Are you still thinking that your DS is a brat for not wanting to share a bed with him?

My son can be a bit bratish I didn't know about the teasing before.

So DSS doesn't sound very nice at all the more you talk about him.
He's a young man calling a 4 yo a c*.

Imo that's verbal abuse and really not nice at all. I really agree with you on that...

Yes he has been punished for it.

Did he do anything like this again?

He gets very annoyed in the mornings when ds wakes up and is playful. I think he's used to not having a young sibling and then now having one.

I wouldn't want to sleep with someone who called my sibling a cunt, even if they hadn't taken the piss out of my naked body. It seems an appropriate boundary.

He gets very annoyed in the mornings when ds wakes up and is playful. I think he's used to not having a young sibling and then now having one.

That's never an excuse to be repeatedly verbally abusive.

And yes, If he had said that to any of my 3 younger sibblings repeatedly?
I probably could not stand being in the same room or table, let alone the same bed.

This

Room 1: You, DS17, DS 15, DS 4
Room 2: DH, DSS

Is a great idea to give them some one to one time, which DSS may badly need, even if I wouldn't be too happy with the them vs us set up.

I think your OH should use that time, but preferably some other one to one time before going on the cruise to have some quality time and quality conversations with his son.

Why can he not sleep on the sofa in the cabin with his step brother?

If he is happy with the sofa in your room, but not in his own, maybe it's about his step brother more...it really depends on their relationship if he is being a brat or not...

At 17 either DS or DSS is old enough NOT to come along. DS may prefer to go with friends instead. He is going to end up being cooped up with someone he doesn't like.

Okay I might just add another room on for the sake of peace. That way dss can have his own room and the boys don't have to share with four year old

That wouldn't work, if I'm understanding it correctly. You would need three cabins, but you have to have an adult over 21 allocated to each one, but you've only 2 adults on your party.

Room 1: You, DS17, DS 15, DS 4
Room 2: DH, DSS

I think this is the only way it could really work, even if it is a bit 'them and us'.

I have never been on a cruise where the beds cannot be reconfigured to either double or single beds and that includes NCL

I went on an NCL cruise where we had a double cabin where you couldn't separate the double bed, as it was a round bed with one solid base.

I would absolutely leave the 17 year old at home. If he can't be polite to other members of the family, then why would you want him along on a vacation?

Fgs they've only got to sleep there. If ds wants to come he accepts sharing . They can always top and tail in bed if it bothers him!

Can't we just acknowldege that DS is lucky he's still in one piece?

He called his little brother a cunt and other names repeatedly.

I mean... Is anybody surprised he doesn't want to spend anytime with that person?

*that DSS

What can't your dh and as share and you and your sons? I wouldn't share a room/bed with someone who made me feel shit about myself.

Your DH won't consider a holiday without him?

I hope he's awestruck and praiseworthy of your ability to go on holiday with someone who calls one of your children a c*nt and makes fun of the other?

I certainly am.

The sofas on ships are teeny tiny Im afraid. Dh and DSS together works

*Your DH won't consider a holiday without him?

I hope he's awestruck and praiseworthy of your ability to go on holiday with someone who calls one of your children a c*nt and makes fun of the other?

I certainly am.*

But what am I to do, if we don't take him on holiday I'm afraid it will make issues with dss worse. Ive seen threads of stepmums saying about holidays without stepchildren and they get a lot of criticism for that. Dss doesn't particularly get on with his dad either. Also dh ex will have a go at dh if he doesn't invite dss on the holiday.

It is an issue and I should make a separate thread about how he is with his half brother because it makes me so angry and upset that he has a brother that rejects him completely. I know we can't compare him to my other dc but he has no brotherly instinct like they do. If my son has fallen over while playing he won't get up and comfort him. It never used to be like this.

But what am I to do, if we don't take him on holiday I'm afraid it will make issues with dss worse. Ive seen threads of stepmums saying about holidays without stepchildren and they get a lot of criticism for that. Dss doesn't particularly get on with his dad either. Also dh ex will have a go at dh if he doesn't invite dss on the holiday

What about DH asking DSS if he even wants to come? If the answer is "no" then that's that. I mean, I don't think he should ask him in a public setting. But maybe these two can go out and have lunch or something and have a nice and honest talk?

And who knows, maybe your DSS would enjoy doing something just with his dad (like that lunch) more? I'm nearly 30. And as weird as it sounds, I still enjoy the time when my DF just... goes out to jogging with me alone or if we and DD alll go to a restaurant.

Not that I don't love my half-sibblings. They're awesome and we get along splendidly. But especially when I was younger I truly treasured the moments I could spend just with him (I didn't see him a lot, I grew up with my mother)

We have asked him if he wanted to go and he said yes. We choose Norwegian because of the teenagers and the fact they get to go to many cities.