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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make the boys share a cabin

196 replies

MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 18:48

We have booked our holiday and have decided to go on a cruise around the med. I have booked two staterooms for our family of six and it is causing a lot of problems among my kids.

In the first cabin.
We have me and dh + DS(aged 4) and DS (aged 15). We booked a large room with a balcony since we all need the space,

The second cabin is going to be my stepson and my son both aged 17. I booked an interior since balconies were sold out and ocean view was only available on the lower decks and what I've read is that it can be very noisy. So me and dh upgraded the room to a luxury cabin. It isn't the biggest room but fine for two people to have enough space. The problem we have is that when i upgraded the room two singles became a double (i thought it would be a choice it wasn't).

My son doesn't want to share with Dss and instead wants to sleep on the sofa in our room. Aibu to think he is being a massive brat or should i let him. We have spent a lot on this holiday and changing arrangements at this point isn't an option ainu

OP posts:
ChippieBeanAndHorro · 12/03/2017 20:05

So what if your stepson has no issue with it Mrs watt? Your son does.

You need to fix this

Exactlly.

Can't you just change the luxury room to the one you had before? Everybody will get the same, no shared beds and you can share with your DH?

rookiemere · 12/03/2017 20:06

Was he ok about sharing with DSS before when it was two singles?
If so then maybe something has happened that caused him to fall out with DSS?

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 12/03/2017 20:07

I don't care what posters say about your son being an over privileged snowflake, he is quite entitled to be pissed off about being expected to share a bed with his stepbrother

I agree with this. I'd rather do without a luxury cruise if I was expected to share a bed with someone I hadn't chosen to share a bed with. Also, I couldn't tolerate a holiday with extended family if I didn't have my own space to retire to. (I know that's difficult on a cruise) But those beds are 4' 6" !! Far too close for comfort.
Best idea is DH and stepson share the double cabin, and the rest fit in the other beds as they feel most comfortable.

ChocChocPorridge · 12/03/2017 20:08

I take it that you can't be sure they'd be close enough/you don't think it would work for the 4 year old and the 15 year old to share?

My two are younger and I have to force them to sleep apart. Given any chance they're in bed together (the oldest calls the youngest his 'fat, hot water baby' and the youngest just likes being with his brother - they're only 3 and 6 though.)

Bringmewineandcake · 12/03/2017 20:08

Then your oldest son can't go coz he's rejecting a perfectly reasonable alternative. I can 100% understand why he wouldn't want to share a bed, but to refuse to share the room along with dss, his brother and dh is just being difficult and should have been raised before you booked.

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:10

He's been offered a single in the cabin with dh ds and dss but he doesn't want to share a cabin with dss regardless of beds being shared.

OP posts:
oleoleoleole · 12/03/2017 20:11

Why don't you put kids in one cabin and you and DP in other?

BoffinMum · 12/03/2017 20:11

They can't share a bed. It's just weird. I would downgrade again so there are twin beds.

SmilingButClueless · 12/03/2017 20:12

If it's Norwegian then from a quick look at their website it appears as though all their cabins (except Studio, which they advertise as being for solo travellers) have the option of twin beds, or at least multiple berths. So giving them a call to check seems a sensible course of action.

Would the cabin be able to sleep 3 people and all the older boys share?

expatinscotland · 12/03/2017 20:12

Then the 15-year-old shares with his stepbrother or your husband does. Or you contact the line and see if they will push the beds apart. It's not hard.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 12/03/2017 20:14

Has he said why he doesn't want to share with DSS? Given that he's been happy to share in the past it seems odd he's so dead against it now - makes me wonder whether something's happened between them.

harderandharder2breathe · 12/03/2017 20:15

You refusing to have DH in s different room is more precious than two almost men refusing to share a bed.

bloodyteenagers · 12/03/2017 20:16

You stay in your original room
The one that's having a tantrum bunks with the 4 year old and the 15 and 17 year old. It's either that or the original plan.
Having one of them on the sofa in your room. No. For the people who are suggesting this - how is the op and her dh supposed to have a shag with a kid on the sofa? They aren't.

Ragwort · 12/03/2017 20:18

Why do you 'need' your DH with you, just let him and DSS share one cabin and you have the other one with the other children.

And don't ever again bother booking a holiday for teenagers Grin.

donadumaurier · 12/03/2017 20:19

Why can't you do your 15 year old in with DSS and DS who doesn't want to share with DSS in with you, DH and the 4 year old? Problem solved.

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 12/03/2017 20:19

I have read the whole thread and I am still puzzled. Your DSS sounds OK to me.

I would put the older children (all) in one room and you, DH and the 4 year old in another. Let the cruise company sort out the beds. Surely your sons (age 15 and 17) could share a bed, if necessary, but let DSS have his own bed.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/03/2017 20:20

What is his problem with DSS?

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 12/03/2017 20:20

dss would share with his dad but tbh I would rather my son sleep on sofa than not have dh with me

You see, I can't understand that. I'd not want to put my son in a position which he finds uncomfortable when it's easily remedied.
I don't understand why your own comfort level takes precedence over your son's. My natural instinct is the exact opposite.

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:22

No I am not sharing with dh now I'm sharing inside cabin with ds four.

I have spoken to ds why he doesn't and he said that dss saw him naked by accident on the camping trip and teased him about it. I didn't know this until he told me about it a minute a go.

Okay I might just add another room on for the sake of peace. That way dss can have his own room and the boys don't have to share with four year old.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 12/03/2017 20:23

bloodyteenagers - so OPs right to have a shag beats DS's desire not to share a room with someone it sounds like he has fallen out with? Its not his pal he's sharing with.
Besides which there will be a 4 yr old and. 15 yr old in the same cabin so I really doubt much shenanigans will be going on.

What I find ironic OP is that you don't want to share a room with your DSS as you don't get on with him but you expect your DS to share a bed with him.

rookiemere · 12/03/2017 20:24

Ok sorry missed update. not nice for your DS to be teased about his appearance. Yes sounds like another room is the way to go - cheap one this time !

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 12/03/2017 20:24

my son has sleept with dh and stepson in a tent
Camping is completely different.

and has slept with dss in the past in a king size bed when he didn't want to sleep in a sofa bed

Maybe that was a one-off, but he doesn't want to share a bed in a tiny cabin for the entire duration of a holiday?

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 12/03/2017 20:25

Let him have the sofa, or your DH can share with his Son, is that an option maybe .

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:27

It was a one off tbf. Do you seriously think I want my dh to have a shag I would not with a 15 and 4 year old no way.

My dss refuses to share with me. I clash with him and he shouts at four year old when he wakes him up.

OP posts:
ChippieBeanAndHorro · 12/03/2017 20:28

OP; you chose to share your life partially with your DSS.

Sure, you didn't necessarily want him, but it was your doing that lead to this...
Your DC? Nope.
I have two stepsisters. I've always disliked the younger one (we were in the same class and she was actually my bully) and am not a fan of the older one either.

He does not have to like his stepbrother. He is allowed to dislike him.

You chose your DH in that way also accepted spending some time with his children. Your children did not do that.

They have no obligation to like each other. And you have to respect this`!

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