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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make the boys share a cabin

196 replies

MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 18:48

We have booked our holiday and have decided to go on a cruise around the med. I have booked two staterooms for our family of six and it is causing a lot of problems among my kids.

In the first cabin.
We have me and dh + DS(aged 4) and DS (aged 15). We booked a large room with a balcony since we all need the space,

The second cabin is going to be my stepson and my son both aged 17. I booked an interior since balconies were sold out and ocean view was only available on the lower decks and what I've read is that it can be very noisy. So me and dh upgraded the room to a luxury cabin. It isn't the biggest room but fine for two people to have enough space. The problem we have is that when i upgraded the room two singles became a double (i thought it would be a choice it wasn't).

My son doesn't want to share with Dss and instead wants to sleep on the sofa in our room. Aibu to think he is being a massive brat or should i let him. We have spent a lot on this holiday and changing arrangements at this point isn't an option ainu

OP posts:
Boiing · 12/03/2017 20:28

He shouldn't have to share a bed if he doesn't want to. Perhaps his stepbrother pongs! Hopefully they can split bed into 2 but a backup could be to take an inflatable / roll bed for the floor and they can take turns sleeping on it? If not then yes you have to let him sleep on your sofa, you made the booking, you messed it up, it's up to you to help fix it.

ChippieBeanAndHorro · 12/03/2017 20:29

And btw, whilst your DSS shouldn't shout at your son? He doesn't have to like you either.

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:33

He doesn't have to like my son or my kids don't have to like him. We have changed options from sharing since they vu but dss doesn't want to share with dss even if he is with his brother and dh and dss.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:34

Oh and I have to share with my four year old. My dss will tell him to shut the fuck up and other insults to make him quite.

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 12/03/2017 20:34

I missed the bit about two dc's in with the op.
But surely the dh and the older ones is still the older one sharing with the one they don't want to. Unless I am really missing something. Them unless someone sleeps on the sofa bed will still be shared. If that's the case how about swap the dh for the 4 year old?

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:36

No the balcony room sleeps 4 and new arrangements mean dh will be in double with dss and in the same room ds 17 and ds 15 will have the two singles.

Me and four year old will have the interior room.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:37

Oh and my son is still refusing this arrangement might just book another room and be done with it.

Oh and I try to get on my stepson and I did but he's a teenager and teenagers clash with parents let alone step parents.

OP posts:
FreeNiki · 12/03/2017 20:38

You didnt check what the beds would be before spending several thousand?!

Just ask when you get there for a fold up bed to put in the room. They are bound to have them.

FlouncingInAWinterWonderland · 12/03/2017 20:38

So the only option is your DH and DSS to share.

DH and I have cruised with the three DC and my parents. We have boys cabin, girls cabin and grandparents cabin.

The younger two DC did kids clubs some afternoons, DS1 spent some time with grandparents so DH and I had the odd lazy afternoon together in the cabin.

There's generally so much to do on boats that cabins only need to be for sleeping.

ChippieBeanAndHorro · 12/03/2017 20:38

My dss will tell him to shut the fuck up and other insults to make him quite.

Which clearly shouldn't be tolerated. EVER

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 12/03/2017 20:39

Do you seriously think I want my dh to have a shag

If that was a comment to me, no, I didn't think that at all Shock
I doubt anybody really thinks that - well nobody who's been on a cruise with several kids anyway.
Hope you get it all sorted out. It's clear you never saw these problems coming.

donadumaurier · 12/03/2017 20:40

OP as I posted before, there is a simple solution.

Room 1: You, DH, DS 17, DS 4

Room 2: DSS 17, DS 15

FreeNiki · 12/03/2017 20:40

Oh and my son is still refusing this arrangement might just book another room and be done with it.

what spoilt brats.

i would have given my right arm for any holiday at that age. we couldn't afford a thing.

leave them behind?

letsmargaritatime · 12/03/2017 20:42

chippiebean How the fuck do you think contact can be facilitated with your strange reasoning?

What about siblings who also have no choice about introducing them to the family?

Does every blended family need a mansion?

ChippieBeanAndHorro · 12/03/2017 20:45

What about siblings who also have no choice about introducing them to the family ?

Yes, the feelings of siblings should be respected.

Idk, we certainly did not have a mansion. I still hate them and I remember that the one family relation we ever went on to? Left such a bad taste in my mouth that honestly... Made me dislike DS1 as well.

Lweji · 12/03/2017 20:45

I know it's a side issue, but what the fuck does your OH do when "My dss will tell him to shut the fuck up and other insults to make him quiet."?

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:46

Yes but I dont think my 15 year old is old enough to have a room by himself he is not mature and in case of an emergency I don't want to rely on my stepson.

OP posts:
Lweji · 12/03/2017 20:47

I'd be inclined to leave both 17 year olds behind, but definitely the one who shouts at a 4 year old and teases the older step brother.

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:48

I know it's a side issue, but what the fuck does your OH do when "My dss will tell him to shut the fuck up and other insults to make him quiet."?

We both tell him off but I'm not going to lie he is difficult. It's far worse than shut the fuck up as well it dss has called him the c word in the past which really isn't on and he was punished for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 20:49

I can't leave stepson 17 behind it's not fair and dh wouldn't have it and he wouldn't go on holiday otherwise.

OP posts:
WandaBack · 12/03/2017 20:50

Did you consult everyone before booking this holiday? Because regardless of bunks and beds it doesn't sound as though the two 17 year olds want to be there. Also it's hard to get single cabins if you try to book a third one.

ChippieBeanAndHorro · 12/03/2017 20:50

Right...

In other words, he's being an abusive twat.

And why do you want to go on a holliday with him?

MAybe I'm just very cynical because of my own experiences with these kind of hollidays with extended step family. But little room and all the other factors you mentioned? Idk. I'm just not sure anybody is going to enjoy this.

FreeNiki · 12/03/2017 20:50

id leave dss behind.

he is mere months from being an 18yo adult man calling a 4 yo child a cunt is inexcuseable.

exLtEveDallas · 12/03/2017 20:51

So what about:

Room 1: You, DS17, DS 15, DS 4

Room 2: DH, DSS

FreeNiki · 12/03/2017 20:52

it is fair to leave him behind if he is going to ruin it and doesnt want to be there anyway.