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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make the boys share a cabin

196 replies

MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 18:48

We have booked our holiday and have decided to go on a cruise around the med. I have booked two staterooms for our family of six and it is causing a lot of problems among my kids.

In the first cabin.
We have me and dh + DS(aged 4) and DS (aged 15). We booked a large room with a balcony since we all need the space,

The second cabin is going to be my stepson and my son both aged 17. I booked an interior since balconies were sold out and ocean view was only available on the lower decks and what I've read is that it can be very noisy. So me and dh upgraded the room to a luxury cabin. It isn't the biggest room but fine for two people to have enough space. The problem we have is that when i upgraded the room two singles became a double (i thought it would be a choice it wasn't).

My son doesn't want to share with Dss and instead wants to sleep on the sofa in our room. Aibu to think he is being a massive brat or should i let him. We have spent a lot on this holiday and changing arrangements at this point isn't an option ainu

OP posts:
ShelaghTurner · 12/03/2017 19:18

I've never found them inflexible at all. Have you actually asked if they can be set up as twins?

NapQueen · 12/03/2017 19:20

You and ds (4) in the double.

Dh, his son in the double in your room with your elder sons in the singles in that room

BillSykesDog · 12/03/2017 19:20

My parents used to do this when I was a teen, book me to share a bed with my older brother despite me begging them not to. It was horrible and I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable. I'd let him sleep on the sofa or at least give him the option not to go.

JaneEyre70 · 12/03/2017 19:21

DH and his son in the double bed, you and your kids in the other. It's only for sleeping, not the entire cruise. You can all use one room in the day. That way DH and his son get some quality time too.

expatinscotland · 12/03/2017 19:21

Why can't the 17-year-old share with his 15-year-old brother? He's not being a brat.

mama4321 · 12/03/2017 19:22

Take 2 sleeping bags.

llhj · 12/03/2017 19:22

So you're cramped with 5 people in a cabin and someone has one upgraded one to themselves? That's totally ridiculous. I'd leave all the lads in together in that case and have a cabin to yourself. Now that would be a holiday!

TubbyMcFatfuck · 12/03/2017 19:23

There is a website called CruiseCritic which has a very active forums section with lots of very experienced cruisers. If you go onto the boards for your cruiseline I'm sure someone on there will be able to tell you how they configure the beds on your ship and whether or not the bed set up can be changed. You can even post your cabin number and other posters who stayed in your cabin previously will show you their cabin pics. I've been on several cruises and I'm pretty sure that a lot of the double beds are made up of two singles. You would advise your cabin steward on day one of the cruise how you prefer the beds to be configured.
Enjoy your cruise- it's a great family holiday with something to suit everyone. I hope you manage to get sort sorted out.

expatinscotland · 12/03/2017 19:23

Or, yeah, your DH in with his son.

RedAndYellowPeppers · 12/03/2017 19:25

Sorry but for me it scream entitled.
These are teenagers who are taken in a cruise, offered a room that has been ukgraded to luxury and ... it's not good enough?
Maybe they could stay at home instead...

Seriously, if one of mines were going like this, this would be the answer.
Sharing a bed doesn't mean sleeping/having sex wth that person. They should really be able to cope with that.

FlouncingInAWinterWonderland · 12/03/2017 19:25

I think you're going about this all the wrong way. You need gender defined cabins. Girls cabin, boys cabin. You and your DH can sit on the balcony of an evening then you can retire to your own quiet cabin.

ButtercupChain · 12/03/2017 19:26

I don't care what posters say about your son being an over privileged snowflake, he is quite entitled to be pissed off about being expected to share a bed with his stepbrother.

Sorry, but that's just odd. Many years ago I knew a few families with 8 kids who lived in a 3 bed house, and there was mom and dad in one room, and 4 kids in each of the other 2 bedrooms; 2 sets of bunk beds in each. But even THEN they had their own BED. So it's a crock to say that he is being precious by not wanting to share a bed..

Sorry OP, but what were you thinking, expecting them to share a bed? Not even related siblings should be expected to do that. Not at 17! They're practically men!

RedAndYellowPeppers · 12/03/2017 19:27

As for sharing with someone you don't know... they are stepbrothers, surely they should each other enough to be confortable about it?

expatinscotland · 12/03/2017 19:29

And tbh, I've been 3 in an exterior cabin - me and my two children, and it was a large one with balcony, an RC cruise, too, and it would have been crowded with 4 in there. CruiseCritic is awesome. You can also YouTube the ship and I'll bet there is a tour of it online and you can see inside each type of cabin. I've been on 4 cruises now and always do this. My folks are retired and live near a major port and often get last minute berths so have been on many (members of Silver Castaway club) and use CruiseCritic a lot.

damnedgrubble · 12/03/2017 19:32

The cruise lines I know of (about 5) all can have the beds as a double or a twin, surely they can do that? Asking them to share a bed is unreasonable, a cabin is not.

callmeadoctor · 12/03/2017 19:34

I would put Dh with stepson, but Having cruised on a LOT of ships it is pretty unusual not to be able to split a double. Why don't you downgrade it? (Also the balcony cabins are usually no bigger except they have a balcony included in square footage so seem a lot bigger!!!! unless you have a suite (wow). Have you looked at family cabins or 3 cabins with 2 in each? Which ship is it? Have you checked online to see if there are any 2 separate berths (they all have online lists)

OhTheRoses · 12/03/2017 19:37

You and your DH take the inner room with double bed. I don't think the boys are being unreasonable. Cruises require champagne money so I'm guessing none of you are used to roughing it. Therefore the comments about 8 in a,3 bed house are a little misplaced.

ComeOnSpring · 12/03/2017 19:38

If they are sharing a bed I think YABU. 17 year old step brothers sharing a bed if they are not close could be really awkward...
I would have hated at that age to share a bed with someone I didn't know well...
Even now if I was going away and had to share a bed with someone I wasn't close to I would hate it.

titchy · 12/03/2017 19:42

When you get there you see if in fact the double bed can be split. If it can, job done. If it can't then either your dh and dss share the bed, or you and your youngest ds share the bed.

Ifeelsuchafool · 12/03/2017 19:43

Another vote for the boys not being unreasonable. I would never book for step siblings to share a room let alone a bed when they're practically adults without consulting with them first. You must know how well they do or don't get on with one another? You must have seen this coming, surely?

expatinscotland · 12/03/2017 19:43

Having no window is fine, though. Some even prefer it. My nieces are young adults and never go to bed on cruises until the early hours so prefer the darker room.

Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 19:43

dss would share with his dad but tbh I would rather my son sleep on sofa than not have dh with me.

I understand if ds had a reason not to share but it's just he doesn't want to share with him.

Yes I get that it's not ideal if it a double but my son has sleept with dh and stepson in a tent and has slept with dss in the past in a king size bed when he didn't want to sleep in a sofa bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 19:45

Oh I just want to add my stepson has had no issue with the arrangement.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/03/2017 19:47

Have you actually asked if the room can be made up as a twin?

callmeadoctor · 12/03/2017 19:47

Sorry to be difficult here (and I may not be correct) but I have a feeling that there must be an adult (i.e. over 18) in each cabin. Definitely need to check.