I think I'm reasonably physically attractive and good at my job. I come across confident and I've worked very hard in my career and feel I'm good at my job. My appraisals show that.
I think sometimes I can be a bit lazy. I can get too upset by things. I can be very hard on myself if I don't do things well. I find it very hard to be a Mum and don't think I was made to be one. I can't accept and learn to love the area I live in. I can see where I could improve.
I don't think I'm arrogant but I do have a very confident manner. I walk upright and show
confident body language but I think this is largely due to the fact I did ballet for many years and learnt poise from that.
Something I've been aware of for several years is, I get the feeling people find me arrogant.
Some examples:
I find people tell me how 'common' other people are a lot. They joke about someone being uneducated or uncultured and seem to think I will sympathise and agree when in reality I'm secretly horrified!
People often say things like 'I know you wouldn't shop in Aldi but it's great. Imagine not having a degree. Have you seen what she is wearing, she always wears the same three dresses'. It's as if they're expecting me to agree with these awful statements.
My work colleagues joke that I don't ever swear and I'm posh.
My boss always asks me before I hand work over by saying 'go on, tell me how good this piece of work is'.
I hear 'she thinks she can have any man and any job she wants'.
And just last week the new assistant said 'I'm going to try and be less common around you'.
I've overheard people say 'she's pretty but she knows it', 'I doubt she'd ever get a job as a cleaner while waiting for our office to be reloacated' among other pretty nasty things.
I come from a very working class background. I lost all three of my siblings by the time I was 17 and have endured hardships most people can't even imagine.
My mum can't read or write and my dad is a cleaner. I got a scholarship to a private school and so have picked up a posh accent and mannerisms but I'm by no means posh. I have never and would never judge someone on their clothes, social class or wealth. And yet, I get the impression people find me over confident and snobby. These are just a few examples.
I've found this is not the case among other managers who always describe me as down to earth and genuine and I've had excellent references and appraisals that have described how warm and genuine I am.
Yet, it's only managers who seem to see the person I am. I get the feeling people find me a bit of a snobby, arrogant cow.
AIBU to say I'm really not and be surprised people find me arrogant?