To ask why people want more than 1 child??

[Toobloodytired]

I need to ask it's been bothering me for weeks.

I'm due my first child in 5 weeks, however I am absolutely baffled as to why people want more!

Split with the father of my child (NC at all), yes we did discuss having another one for the whole sibling thing.

However, since going through the whole pregnancy alone and now being single, I am seriously questioning why I would EVER want another!

I know a lot will say oh you are single but when you meet someone new, you'll feel with him how you did your ex & want another but right now I just can't see it! Will I??

I suppose I was grateful to have siblings during difficult times. My nephew is an only child living some distance away. He has had to deal with difficult times alone.
Obviously we helped as much as we can buy not the same as having a sibling go share the load.

I thought I only wanted one. Now ds is 17mo, I really want another. I didn't enjoy pregnancy at all and labour was terrifying for me (although not that bad, I'm just more of a pansy that I thought I was...). Im not single but I parent single handed for approx 45 weeks a year... I'd still have another. DH says no. Boo.

I didn't really want another but found out I'm pregnant with #2 about a month ago. Not really expecting anything to sink in until he/she is born TBH, but v much trust that my maternal instincts will kick in and I'll love second child as much as first.

The last ONS stats I found from 2013 suggested 47% of all UK families had one child

100% of families with children start off with 1 child.

How many of those 47% went on to have more children.

Thanks Blinky I know we have made the right decision for our family :) I can be a good mum to DS in a way I couldn't to more than one. There is so much judgement though, I get lectured quite frequently on how we should have more.

LlandudnoLlandudno

People are so rude if they keep lecturing you. I hope you are not shy to tell them where to go.

The honest answer is -
I don't know. Hormones, perhaps!
I love my first born. He was an adorable and easy baby and an easy toddler. I genuinely thought it would be a doddle.to have another as they'd be just like each other....
Ha, I was wrong there. I sometimes wonder that if I'd had #2 first then we'd only have had the one. Sleep theif an all round awkward git that he is!
I do remember wondering in the early days of #1 just how it is that people manage with more. The answer seems to be that you don't, but some how you come out the other side and you start wanting #3.
Sodding hormones. I'm not having #3, but damn I'm broody.
Good job a friend of mine fosters babies. I'm getting lots of baby hugs to help take the edge off!

I assume others have already covered this
1 because children deserve siblings
2 because children learn from siblings
3 because adults deserve to have siblings they can share life's fun and problems with
4 because adults deserve siblings they can share the duty of caring for elderly relatives with
5 because mothers deserve at least one teenager who isnt currently in a strop
7 because the elderly deserve more than one grandchild to come visit them in their residential homes
I could go on and on.

It's no-one else's business than your own.

I thought I would have two or three but I have to be practical. I live in a two bed flat, and whilst pg I had pre-eclampsia. Then because of a drug the ward gave me, the risk was too high to deliver under an epidural and DD was delivered under GA, by c-section. Oh, the pain. Then there was the long stay in SCBU. Then there was the sleeping problems, the depression for not sleeping and not being able to bf (social pressure) then the fact that every fucking person from the NHS with a degree wanted to poke and prod DD, and then they were telling me she would never meet her development stages, then there was me walking out of the child development centre in disgust and then being told by the HV "typical first time Mum, very idealistic and I said NO BOLLOX TO IT ALL. Then DD went to nursery and school and has consistently been in the top 10% of her year group in ability ever since. Before nursery happened though, I decided that all the nonsense was too much to bear and I couldn't possibly have more kids. I couldn't be arsed with the hassle. Or the pain. Or the judgement. So I have one. And I am lucky.

Sorry nrtft but it's same reason you want one! Hormones, instinct etc.

I have one DS. Would love to have a 2nd and always assumed we'd have 2 or 3. But medically it hasn't worked like that. Fertility issues suck. But as the trend for starting having kids later goes on I'm sure more and more will find time isn't on their side and number two just doesn't materialise.

Then it's a case of having to come to terms with it and telling those people that you 'should' have more than one. Having siblings is vital, theyll get spoilt etc to just Fuck off. Insensitive pricks.

There's lots of benefits of only having one and it's trying to focus on those that helps. No more sleepless nights, more disposable income, no sibling fights, easier to book hotel rooms, fit in a taxi etc etc.

I don't want my DD to be left on her own when me and DH die

The short answer is... we just wanted to. There was no great philanthropic reason, no desire to replace ourselves, no wish to "fit in" with other families with more than one, not even really deep thinking about siblings to share burdens with, no hope for a child of the opposite gender to complete the set - just an all consuming desire for more kids on the "for" side of the argument, and no insumountable obstacles on the "against ".

Op mine are two by different dads.
Why did I have a second despite what can only be described as a rotten first pregnancy and difficult baby? Because I fell pregnant unexpectedly again and couldn't face a termination.
My family is complete at two boys and my second has helped me heal and get answers from drs.
My first is an amazing brother and the baby is simply delicious. And I've got more patience than I ever thought possible now. Didn't before, mind.
My reasons are probably selfish. I didn't think I wanted another til I got the positive pregnancy test. Best kids ever even if the first does have some emotional issues

I feel exactly the same! Hence the user name. I'm stopping at one. I've raised her alone and I'm married haha. Finally getting out though

I am over the moon at the idea of having just my 1. He will never have a sibling (perhaps step sibling one day), but he will have lots of good friends. I love having an only child, and the older he gets, the happier I am with this decision :)

Purely for more grandchildren

Stitch,

Lots of reasons,
Someone got to pay Care home fees.
We think we're pretty amazing and wanted to ensure definite continuity of the gene pool.
I have little willpower and he can't resist temptation.
It's something to do on a cold, wet Sunday afternoon.
The ageing population is an issue - we tried to do our bit to ensure we reduced the average age and increased number of young people paying into public pension pot.
Out of six, one was probably going to make us proud.
We like people saying SIX you were married before, right? And saying no.
So we can answer stupid questions from a particularly well informed perspective.

Sometimes no thought goes into it. Nothing like a bit of unprotected sex for special surprises!

Being a mother is a form of servitude. I'm kinda selfish and I'm an introvert, so have found everything about parenthood really tough. I have a 15 month old who is highly 'spirited' a pain in the arse and I've really no desire to experience the newborn stage again. Especially with a baby who had colic and reflux. It was dreadful and I'd have quite happily have killed myself.

So I'd no intention of having another. But then my mum died when my daughter was 4 months old. My sibling and my dad died a few years ago.

So, now I'm considering having another baby so that my daughter isn't alone in the world if any thing happens to me and my husband.

I can do all the shit, crappy horrible bits again for her. But one thing is stopping me though and it's that my sibling and I didn't ever really get along, or like one another very much anyway. What if I had another baby and my children end up not liking each other? I'd be absolutely gutted.

Hardest decision of my entire life.

Tootsiepops - work hard with your children to nurture their relationship, focussing on mutual respect and love. I love the interaction of my DC, their friendships and support they give each other.

Because all the children I knew who were only children were somewhat lonely at home, bad at making friends and taking turns and dare I say it, somewhat spoilt.

I can always tell if a child is an only child. I've never been wrong!

And the only children my children are friends with are the ones who cause the most hassle on playdates tbh.

I think it's mean to deliberately only have one. But that's just my opinion. Other people will have a different opinion and that's fine too!

Just to clarify, to 'deliberately only have one' I mean medical issues aside obviously!

I chose to have a child to have a family.

I don't have the "family" I had planned.

I always felt the choice to have a child was to make you & your other half complete, to do something together, to support each other in raising another human.

Why did you want one?