To ask why people want more than 1 child??

[Toobloodytired]

I need to ask it's been bothering me for weeks.

I'm due my first child in 5 weeks, however I am absolutely baffled as to why people want more!

Split with the father of my child (NC at all), yes we did discuss having another one for the whole sibling thing.

However, since going through the whole pregnancy alone and now being single, I am seriously questioning why I would EVER want another!

I know a lot will say oh you are single but when you meet someone new, you'll feel with him how you did your ex & want another but right now I just can't see it! Will I??

At that stage with dd1 I questioned whether I would want more. I had 24/7 morning sickness throughout, then had a 30 hour labour, so didn't feel I wanted another.

I now have 3dc and in some ways would have liked 4dc. It did take 2 years after dd1 was born to be able to face going through it again though.

I always wanted to have two children. There is no logical reason for it. However having two does take pressure off us having to entertain them. They are 5 and 2 and are very happy playing silly games that we never did with DC1 before the DC2 is old enough to be a playmate. Looking at them we parents just aren't as fun to a young child.

Yanbu in the least. This always (surreptitiously) baffles me, though I am not so rude as to go around quizzing people about it the way people seem to find it acceptable to be vocally disapproving of me having one child by choice. I got pregnant the first month of trying, had a straightforward pregnancy and birth, and DS is fabulous, but it genuinely never occurred to me or DH to consider another.

I know several couples who only wanted one dc, but after a couple of years have passed they begin to forget how bad the pregnancy, childbirth, sleepless nights, colic, etc were and all they can remember is tiny sleepsuits and newborn cuddles. Or maybe that was just me and Dh .

You might feel the same one day if you meet someone new. Or you might not.

I will say though that having a sibling has (so far) been a positive thing for both of my dc. The way they play and interact with each other is lovely to watch when they're not trying to kill each other.

I don't have anything against women who have more than one, I just wonder how the hell il cope with 1 let alone 2!

I guess it does upset me to think il never want anymore because of my current situation

If I'd had my second child first I wouldn't have wanted another. She was bloody hard work. Actually I wasn't going to have another after I split from the first ones dad but then I fell pregnant by accident and thought fuck it now or never, so now I have two, rightly or wrongly

I never wanted children,I preferred horses and dogs😁But , I'm an only child myself and was lonely at times,
Then 20 years ago (when I was young), I met my best friend,
We went on to have six children into a stable,loving home who are now ages 13-1 ...and if I could I'd have more ☺️
They are so much fun, can be so stressful but watching them grow and learn and bond and argue! Is amazing X

You do know w there isn't a " right" answer?
Some people think one is enough, some people have always wanted one of each and some people like big families.
I don't like chocolate ice cream some do. That's it, really.

I don't know about others but I found that when I stopped breastfeeding I was hit by a real strong physical need for another baby, no logical reasons felt primitive and instinctive. No practical reasons not too so we did.
I felt the same when DS2 weaned but the physical urge was balanced by the fact the DS2 was younger and never slept and I had had a bad pregnancy with him. A third felt too risky. I suspect if dh had said I want a 3rd I would have said yes though...
They are both in double figures now and I think another pregnancy would be the end of me yet I still feel almost a jump or a stabbing pain occasionally when I hear a real lit one cry.
Caught me by surprise I wanted to adopt rather than physically have children so never imagined the physical pull would be so strong particularly as I really, really hated pregnancy. Loved breastfeeding in the middle of the night though, never felt as peacefully content as I did then.

Had DD last summer and I'm currently pregnant again.

Idk, we just want more than one.

Although, I do kind of hope our 2nd child is a boy. Because I don't know if I want a 3rd and it would make FIL very happy. But I'm actually very sure it's a girl... Which is maybe a bit sexist and DH and I will be happy as long as they're healthy.

But it would mean a lot to FIL...

Of course you want two children, the fighting, the arguing, the whinging.... I frequently recommend it to people with only one child

I always wanted 3. The families I knew when I was growing up who had 3 children were all the coolest

I have 3. I'm very lucky.

I am one and done. I have always known I wouldnt want another a child.

Of course having two or more children is lovely for DCs, a sibling to play with and make memories with. I grew up with a sibling, we arent at all close but it was always nice to have her there.

Personally for me, one child is the right choice for various reasons. Every one is different. Providing children are well cared for and loved, then it really doesnt matter how many you have!

Because having children are wonderful why would you not want want more of something wonderful?

Honestly, with these genes I thought I'd do the right thing and become a profilgate procreator.

Call it my special gift to humanity 😎

Because you forget how terrible being pregnant and having a newborn is.. that's what it was for me. I have a 2yo and a 2 month old. Hormones do crazy thing to you.

I did always want 2 kids - I was and still am very very close to my brothers. Defo not having anymore........ maybe.

I'm not looking for a right answer, I am simply very intrigued to know people's reasons, outlooks.

Especially women who had split with their first child's dad & then went on to have more with another man.

Me and my sister clung together for mental protection against our batshit mother as children, so I wanted my child to have a sibling too - someone to mutter in corners with if/when I act like a dick, and also to share the load with if/when I or DH get ill in later life.

They fight like cat and dog a lot of the time, but are also inseparable. I love watching them giggle together - it gives me a warm glow to think that I've made each of them a little friend. Mind you I imagine you could find that warm fuzzy feeling with a literal (i.e. non-related) friend or cousin too, if you'd put the effort into making sure they were together enough for the bond to form.

Those are my reasons.

Yeah, you do forget how awful the birth is. I may have gone for no.4 but god! childbirth.... I think I'm too old now. Happy with my 3.

Hated my siblings as a kid but now as an adult their my favourite people. Having a shared history is a bond like no other, I want my child to also have to survive their siblings and grow to develop a friendship and bond like I have with my 3 sisters

Siblings have a relationship that is all their own - shared experiences growing up, with the parents! I recognise that with my siblings, and I wanted my own to have that too.

"Why did you bother having any"

Because I was in a "stable" not perfect relationship, with a guy I thought I was in love with, who I thought felt the same. I wanted a strong bond with him, I wanted us to share a life together.

I was stupid & horrendously naive!
If I could go back?? I'd stop myself getting pregnant for the sake of my mental health & the sake of my baby.

Because now, I don't know if I can really do being a parent, if I can handle it mentally & alone.

As soon as I have birth to dd I knew I wanted another baby.

We have 2 dc, 3 and 5, and they are best friends. Seeing them together is an absolute joy. There are no guarantees siblings will get on of course - our reason was we simply wanted another child and were able to have one.

After having DS nine years ago with my ex, I couldn't possibly imagine having another child, let alone with him.
Now I have a new dp (been together nearly six years) and we've been TTC for two years. It is looking like it isn't meant to be and I'm heartbroken. So, yes, you can change your mind, but don't worry about that now. Just focus on the pending arrival.