To ask why people want more than 1 child??

[Toobloodytired]

I need to ask it's been bothering me for weeks.

I'm due my first child in 5 weeks, however I am absolutely baffled as to why people want more!

Split with the father of my child (NC at all), yes we did discuss having another one for the whole sibling thing.

However, since going through the whole pregnancy alone and now being single, I am seriously questioning why I would EVER want another!

I know a lot will say oh you are single but when you meet someone new, you'll feel with him how you did your ex & want another but right now I just can't see it! Will I??

I have 1 child and am an only.
I can see why people have a second child babies and children are lovely. There are positives to having a sibling relationship as well.
However I can also see why lots of people (like us) stick at one. There are many advantages to having and being an only child.

Like someone else said here- I have a one year old who is utterly adorable.

Still don't want anymore though. My life is shot as I knew it- I want to keep a little bit of me!!

I want a second child so that my DD will never have to understand how desperately lonely it was for me as a only child. I rarely had anyone to play with at school and no one to play with at home. I have no one that i could chat about the past with as they weren't there and I'll never have extended family who are direct blood relatives. It physically hurts when DH & SIL chat about the past or about family matters knowing that i will never be able to join in or have these conversations of my own. It's like a huge void deep inside of me.

5 weeks before I had my first DC thought it was a terrible idea to have a baby. Then I was proved wrong - it has been an absolute joy.

I am now 5 weeks from DC2 and thinking that it is a terrible idea. Hoping to be proved wrong again!

My reason was that both of my parents died young. I was so grateful and am so lucky to have two siblings who are my family.

I have two - they keep each other company and are already best friends. It's lovely to watch them grow up together.

Because my sister was and is one of the best bits of my childhood and my life, and I wanted my.children to have the opportunity for that relationship, if possible.

I always knew I wanted two and barring a couple of non-serious hormonal blips when number 2 was tiny I've always been sure.
I find it odd when people imply if money and health was no issue they'd have loads of babies. I can honestly say if I won the lottery having another child wouldn't even cross my mind. They're lovely but I gave exactly what i want.

The people who are saying 'so child 1 can have a play mate'.............................. really? The whole existence of another person is based on them keeping the elder sibling entertained?

I'm an only and was/am quite happy being an only. After ds1 I wanted another. Same after ds2. As soon as ds3 was born I thought 'right that's it - no more'. It was very much a feeling rather than something I could intellectually think about.

Because they choose to, your thinking of your own circumstances understandably however there are many more choices ahead, personally two adorable little boys made our family complete.

A sibling for our DD was the greatest thing we ever did for her.

The whole existence of another person is based on them keeping the elder sibling entertained?

No - it;s absolutely not that. It's more about having siblings - from the point of view of the child - someone who who has grown up with you. Shared experiences.

I have wonderful relationships with my siblings, and whilst I know that a good sibling relationship is not guaranteed, I really wanted it for my 3 children. A lot of my parenting is based on promoting healthy sibling relationships and their shared experiences.

After the death of my DFather, the relationship I have with my siblings really came into it's own and shone through - the vicar who conducted his funeral commented on it. I do want that for my children.

Agree woodlander.

TBH it's nothing more than immature to say its for entertainment purposes.

But really, it;s also about me, about wanting my own family, my own houseful. I adore having these little people around that I have (half) created and given birth to - seeing their similarities and differences. It's incredible watching them grow up - with their own personalities, their own foibles. They're rarely short of a playmate too, because there's 3 of them, and that's a good thing.

I don't really understand what you're so baffled about. You said your reasons for not wanting another are "since going through the whole pregnancy alone and now being single, I am seriously questioning why I would EVER want another", but you must realise that that's not the case for most people..?

Mystery solved.

For me it's because I'm an only child and I have always hated it. DH is one of three and I wish I had the relationships he has with his siblings.

I hate these posts. Try having a conversation with your child and her asking for a sibling when you know you've been trying for one for the last 3 years without success and no one takes you seriously when you ask for help. Sometimes we're not all lucky to get pregnant just like that and 'choose' to have another.

Because I looked at my DD, the only child on both sides of our family, surrounded at every family event by at least 10 adults focusing all their attention on her in a way that must have felt intense and rather lonely. With no sign of anyone else having a cousin to dilute the intensity, we decided we better have another to halve the pressure.

I wanted to have another one, it was as simple as that. I wanted to experience all the stages of pregnancy, labour, the newborn, baby, toddler stage and beyond.

My second DD has autism and it's lovely to see her learning social skills and developing with the encouragement and support from her big sister.

My girls adore each other.

I've always wanted 3. I am the youngest of three, as was my dad, I can't imagine life without my wonderful sisters... I think being an only child would be unbearably lonely.

Because we both have siblings that we get on well with & wanted the same for our DC.
Also we felt we had enough space , time & energy for 2. But it is definitely the maximum that we could cope with.

I completely understand only wanting 1 though. Life gets much easier relatively quickly.
OP do you have enough support around you? It sounds like you need some help and reassurance.
It will be tough on your own ( do you have any family to help? ) butgo easy on yourself and you will get through it.

Because children are individuals and each fascinating in their own right. Would you ask why anyone wants more than one friend?

Because my children's relationships with each other are the best thing I've ever given them. I know it's not always true but my three are very close and mutually supportive (just been upstairs and DD2 and DS are cuddled up asleep in his bed).
That said, I'm an only child myself and don't remember ever wanting siblings . My mum was a lone parent and I liked it just being me and her.

Because I loved being pregnant and enjoyed the baby stage (think this bit is crucial).

Because I had three miscarriages before DD1 and had to really contemplate that I might have no children.

Because my mum died when I was still quite young and no one else remembers her in the same way I do. An unshared childhood ends very abruptly. I am acutely aware of this at the moment because I've reached an age where my friends' parents are dying and I'm going to lots of funerals.

I have a 5 week old DD, my second child. My DS is 2 and I wanted more children because I didn't realise before having DS just how much I would love him. My life has changed completely and I have gone from being a weekday workaholic and weekend party girl to someone who is happy to be around my dc 24/7.

I am an only child and have gone through the grief of losing a parent. You can't miss what you don't have and any ideas of sharing grief are just rose tinted glasses of sibling hood. There's no guarantee you'll get on in adult life, no matter how much parents want that. I enjoyed being an only child and benefited from it, but I knew I wanted more. Maybe I am living sibling hood vicariously, who knows?

I wanted more than one child as I liked the idea of the hassle and bustle of family life. I liked the idea of watching several children interacting and playing with each other. I wanted the children to have the support of siblings. I have 3 siblings and my DH has 3 siblings so I think we felt comfortable having four kids.

However, I really, really don't think there is a 'right' number of kids and I think just having one kid is as wonderful as having 2, 3, 4 or more. There are pros and cons to all the different combos. You should just choose what you think is right for your family.