Judge's warning to drunk women

[FirstShinyRobe]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-39233617

AIBU to think she had a marvellous platform with her retirement speech to issue instead a warning to men not to rape women?

Rape is a male problem, because they do it.

I think you miss typed 'some of them'. Happy to offer you the correction.

I'm sure you didn't mean to be sexist.

The problem Opal is that men rape. So women really don't know who is going to rape them and who is a nice man. It isn't sexist to point this out. If men continue to be violent and rape, then the assumption has to be that all of them cannot be discounted in this assumption. Terrible I know. But it's entirely up to men, all men, to engage in this.

Perhaps you Opal could explain sexism to me? I'm sure your itching to do so.

Are you talking about sexism towards men on a thread about women and rape. Have you heard the experiences of the women on this thread. And your first worry is 'not all men'

Opal you seem to think that women have a rape radar, and that's sexist.

Correct. I can't cope with this idea that men and bad and women are victims. Men are violent and women are meek and scared. It's two dimensional bulshit and no one on here is making a pin of difference because you are all caricatures of a hysterical woman. If anything you are making it worse.

Yes I know, I said what I think so I'm an evil victim blamer. So what. It must be almost nice to be a victim sometimes, when you can absolve yourself of all responsibility. And get a free pass to judge because if your one personal experience.

In the real world we all have rights, expectations, responsibilities, legal and implied...

NO elendon I don't think we have a radar. I would have been safe if we did.

Huh, so they considered their safety enough to run that dangerous route in a group. Interesting

That's a ridiculous comment.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Then it is good company on this thread.

No one has said that women are 'meek and scared'. Not one person apart from you Opal

The real world gives rights and expectations to men. Women have had to fight for these, in the real world. In the real world it was men who set out the legal side of obligations.

Implied? Are you serious in your concerns for the safety of women and children?

you are all caricatures of a hysterical woman

You seem awfully upset. Careful you don't get hysterical.

Batteriesallgone See even that sneaky snide attitude doesn't bode well for you. Do you want a better future for all, or do you just want to win at all costs?

Implied? Are you serious in your concerns for the safety of women and children?

No. I care about my family and the people I know. Some tales are heart wrenching but no more than watching a sad movie.

This isn't about winning and losing an argument on an internet forum Opal Strangely, it's about real life, real experiences and real solutions to the problem that the OP raised. I say strangely, because it is you who brought up real life.

Do you want a better future for all, or do you just want to win at all costs?

No. I care about my family and the people I know. Some tales are heart wrenching but no more than watching a sad movie.

I'm on this thread because I'm interested in other people, not you. Someone who can write those two sentences in consecutive posts and not see the problem with it, is not someone I'm interested in talking to.

Okay Opal, you seem to be disengaged with real life and so cannot really bring solutions to the table. Take care.

You are all so stupid. The way to change the world is to take care of our closest family and the people we know.

How the fuck can you relate to strangers. You can't, you only project your own experiences and think you are helping.

Opal how did you meet your partner? Did you meet as strangers in a social setting? How did your parents meet? Your grandparents?

Sometimes your children can become strangers to you, especially when they spread their wings and fly the nest. They are still family. I don't always agree with my brothers and sisters, but they are still family. However, most people are strangers to me. I cannot claim to be so close to someone that I feel they are a possession. Hell, sometimes I don't even know myself.

Wow. Women sharing their lived experience of being raped is like watching a sad movie. That's the voice of reason isn't it.

Trying to distance yourself from rape victims isn't going to make you less of a victim. Most people raped are sober and raped by someone they know. You fit into that category the vast majority of the time whether you're a boozy party girl or a teetotal nun or a bloke. I'd like the number of people getting raped to decrease and the only way of doing that is to make being a rapist not worth it.

You are all so stupid.

And yet you choose to stay here and respond to our posts. What does that make you? Please, feel free to run along and find someone more worthy of your superior intellect to play with. You can compare empathectomy scars.

I experienced sexual violence as a frequent event from the age of 15 to 20. I have been assaulted, raped, anally raped, I won't go on.

I dragged myself out of homelessness, substance abuse, got myself a degree, a professional job.

I went from hanging about with unsanitary types, to hanging about with the children of judges, preachers, lawyers.

And I saw the same level of sexual violence there as I did in the gutter. Women's insecurities and vulnerabilities being predated on. The vulnerabilities were no longer drink and drug abuse, but rather fear of what parents would think, fear of causing offence, a feeling of obligation to make men happy.

I have had friends come to me 'I didn't want to but...' all through my life.

And now I'm a comfortably married SAHM to a high earner, guess what. I hear it from married friends too.

The problem is not a few nasty rapists taking advantage of a few pissheads, and if only people were sensible they'd be safe. The problem is endemic, behind ordinary front doors in ordinary streets. In gated compounds and the gutters in front of them. It's everywhere. And rape myths only serve to make people think it's a small problem that only happens to other people.

I can't cope with this idea that men and bad and women are victims. Men are violent and women are meek and scared.

And yet I'm the one who'll run through a stretch of wooded area, and you wouldn't as it's 'too risky'! Lots of other things you seemingly wouldn't do, and would urge your family and friends not to do.

You might want to reassess which one of us is the meek and scared one.

And yet I'm the one who'll run through a stretch of wooded area, and you wouldn't as it's 'too risky'! Lots of other things you seemingly wouldn't do, and would urge your family and friends not to do.

Actually you are the one who got scared when two big bad men ran towards you. How dare they run the same route, right? Naughty, naughty men. such a crime to have a penis

You are correct that I risk assess every situation before I commence. It's called being a responsible adult.

I didn't get scared, I just got that familiar feeling. It didn't stop me from doing taking the route, did it?

And I certainly didn't expect them not to be on the same route as me - 'how dare they be there'?! Where do you get that from?

I don't do any risk assessment, ever - I'm an irresponsible adult! Wayhay, it's quite fun. 🙄

You're the one seemingly curtailing your life in order to never encounter rapists.

Cuntess, You are correct, due to the way I live my life I will never encounter a rapist where there will be any ambiguity that a rape has occurred.

Now, before we get hysterical... if other people take these risks that is their right and the rapist is still 100% to blame.

The judge said drunk women are more likely to be raped but provided no empirical evidence to back this up. She said drunk women are less likely to be believed but again provided no evidence to back it up with. I'm just worried some women will be lulled into a false sense of security that they remain sober nothing will happen to them