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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a spotlessly clean house as a single mum to a toddler

250 replies

Hopeless29 · 06/03/2017 19:04

I'm a single mum. I have a three year old.

I've always been someone who liked to have a clean house. I'm not OCD about it but can't relax in a dirty or messy house.

Everyone told me once I have a child my house would suddenly become a tip but I knew that wouldn't be the case.

Yes my son has toys everywhere during the day but he's been taught to put them back when he's finished and I don't let him eat around the house as I think he should eat at the table.

Between 4-5pm while I'm cooking dinner I tidy the house. I actually enjoy it. My house is spotless and tidy and while it's harder to keep a house clean and tidy with children, I've not found it a chore or difficult.

My friends seem to think my house should be a tip (their own words) like theirs and seem very put out that my house is so clean. They make passive aggressive comments about it and how they don't have time to clean once the children have gone to bed.

I find it so irritating.

If they want to prioritise something else that's absolutely fine and I know some people find it a struggle to keep and tidy house with children and that's fine. For me, having a clean and tidy house is very important and I couldn't live in a dirty house. It only takes me an hour a day when I'm cooking dinner anyway. So it's no bother and it doesn't mean I'm neglecting my son inorder to have the place clean.

AIBU to want and to have a clean house?

OP posts:
spiney · 06/03/2017 21:52

ChickenV

AYankinSpanx · 06/03/2017 21:52

I can shoot ping pong balls out of my vajayjay

I do this, but in full makeup, whilst being clutched to the bosom of adoring friends and serving handmade sushi rolled on my toned thigh.

My bilingual, attractive children laugh sweetly before going to bed to translate the classics into their mother tongue for underprivileged children in untidy homes, in rooms lit up by the light of my non-smug personality.

I literally never mention it though.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 06/03/2017 21:54

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spiney · 06/03/2017 21:55

Getting nastier Chicken. Chill out.

LostMyDotBrain · 06/03/2017 21:56

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Sweets101 · 06/03/2017 21:56

I'm a single working mum of 4 DC and have a clean and tidy house so ha!
had to clean and tidy ready to hire a cleaner Blush it's taken weeks!

ChickenVindaloo2 · 06/03/2017 21:57

AYank - your children are only bilingual? Mine are being headhunted by M16 as each are fluent in 7 languages and would make fanastic spies - not least because they can still fit in the overhead luggage compartment on planes and eavesdrop on international money laundering criminals.

I would support a campaign, though, for those poor children in messy homes. God, let's say a prayer for them now, probably going to be in non-ironed bedding and everything.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 06/03/2017 21:58

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Funnyonion17 · 06/03/2017 22:00

Wait till you've got more then 1 child haha. Sorry but one small child is easy in the sense of mess hmm. My house is spotless too btw, but I have more then 1 and it's difficult tbh.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 06/03/2017 22:00

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nonameinspiration · 06/03/2017 22:02

Tanbu. It's the same snidely remarks you get if you dare to wear much make up and do your hair if you have small children. Women are awful to each other sometimes.

I have never really struggled to manage the house either. My closest single parent friend is exactly the same and has 3 dc.

Yabu if you haven't added to the house work tips that arnt shit thread though Grin

LineysRun · 06/03/2017 22:05

Those high-rise toddler cages! Shock

FourKidsNotCrazyYet · 06/03/2017 22:05

I have four children and three dogs, six bedrooms and three baths. My house is always clean and tidy, my friends often comment but it's how I like it. Once it's 'up there' it's so much easier to keep there I spend less than an hour a day on it. I go to my friends homes and some are immaculate too, some chaotic with clutter and one or two 'perch on the edge of the sofa' filthy. The kids are happy and loved and healthy. That's really what matters isnt it? Smile

BorisJohnsonsHair · 06/03/2017 22:06

Our house is reasonably clean and tidy all the time. But I can't bear being in a house which is spotless and clinical. It makes me feel uncomfortable, particularly if there are areas where you're not allowed to eat/drink/wear shoes etc.

So maybe your friends feel like this about your house? I always think being too clean is setting yourself up for all sorts of illnesses. I have a friend like this and her kids are always ill.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/03/2017 22:08

Cleaning is boring though, it just is. I'd rather read a book or cook or garden.

My house is okay, the skirting boards could use a dust but the dishes are washed and I wouldn't be embarassed if you wanted to use my loo. Just life's too short to do more cleaning than you have to.

ClodTheGoat · 06/03/2017 22:09

Single mum to toddler and work part time. My house is more presentable than It was pre-child. It's because my ex was a terrible slob who expected me to pick up after him. I decided it was important to me that my child grows up In tidy environment and will learn how to look after his home.

My house is by no means show room quality but I make time to keep on top of things.

YANBU. Maybe your friends are trying to compliment you. It seems a weird thing to have a sly dig about.

Semaphorically · 06/03/2017 22:10

I suspect the reason people are defensive is because women are still judged on the state of their house in ways that men are not. It's all about wifework, and the many subtle ways society still tries to keep women working for free doing all the drudge work.

Alice212 · 06/03/2017 22:16

Philo "It is also quite rare to have something mid week that takes more than 30 mins to cook in the oven"

Now I'm confused
What's mid week got to do with oven times?

Doyouwantabrew · 06/03/2017 22:21

Of course you should have a tidy house with just one child. Any alternative would make you s sloppy lazy bitch which obviously you are not.

AwfulSomething · 06/03/2017 22:23

Tinkly nailed it for me. Cleaning is boring. End of. OP thanks for the laughs love!

Philoslothy · 06/03/2017 22:41

Now I'm confused
What's mid week got to do with oven times

Most people are cooking after work ( the OP isn't admittedly) and therefore they don't want to be cooking something that takes an hour in the oven after prep. At the weekend you may have more time and so may cook something that takes longer. Not an issue, necessarily, for a SAHP.

PeachyImpeachment · 06/03/2017 22:48

OP, maybe just spend ten minutes messing it up before your friends come round - open a few drawers and chuck things around Grin.

I used to be like you - standards have slipped a bit!

HappyFlappy · 06/03/2017 22:52

That looks very healthy Dot

All that fresh air and stuff . . . Grin

PickAChew · 06/03/2017 22:52

You're welcome to come and clean mine, if you enjoy it that much.

TheRealPooTroll · 06/03/2017 23:00

Maybe your friends are just annoyed that you won't share your secret of what delicious, cooked from scratch, meals you prepare in minutes then pop in the oven the main ingredient is definitely a Goodfellas pizza