To have a spotlessly clean house as a single mum to a toddler

[Hopeless29]

I'm a single mum. I have a three year old.

I've always been someone who liked to have a clean house. I'm not OCD about it but can't relax in a dirty or messy house.

Everyone told me once I have a child my house would suddenly become a tip but I knew that wouldn't be the case.

Yes my son has toys everywhere during the day but he's been taught to put them back when he's finished and I don't let him eat around the house as I think he should eat at the table.

Between 4-5pm while I'm cooking dinner I tidy the house. I actually enjoy it. My house is spotless and tidy and while it's harder to keep a house clean and tidy with children, I've not found it a chore or difficult.

My friends seem to think my house should be a tip (their own words) like theirs and seem very put out that my house is so clean. They make passive aggressive comments about it and how they don't have time to clean once the children have gone to bed.

I find it so irritating.

If they want to prioritise something else that's absolutely fine and I know some people find it a struggle to keep and tidy house with children and that's fine. For me, having a clean and tidy house is very important and I couldn't live in a dirty house. It only takes me an hour a day when I'm cooking dinner anyway. So it's no bother and it doesn't mean I'm neglecting my son inorder to have the place clean.

AIBU to want and to have a clean house?

I cook with home grown herbs and tomatoes, that kind of thing, with flat breads made from scratch on a hot plate.

My house is a fucking shit hole

Lost yes actually you do, assuming you don't lock your toddler into a cell or something for the hours they're not in nursery.

Some people manage being nice to small children, keeping a presentable home and not burning themselves out. I could only ever manage one of those at a time

Your tidy might not be my tidy or vice versa......

It's all about perceptions.

Why care what other people think? It's their opinion.

Oh honestly, who bloody cares? 🙄🙄
Just do what makes you happy and get on with it.

Most people tidy when they have visitors to get the house to a "normal" state of tidiness. Perhaps you could do the opposite and sling some toys on the floor.

You come across as quite smug OP. I suspect that is what puts your friends' backs up.

Lost yes actually you do, assuming you don't lock your toddler into a cell or something for the hours they're not in nursery.

Have you seen pictures of those old fashioned baby cages that hang out of the windows?

No Dot.

Where can I get one?

I think it would be dead easy to keep a clean house with just one 3 year old.

Add a 4 yr old in to the mix and you'd be screwed mind you! (speaking from experience..)

Personally i can't understand why it would take you as long as an hour!

I don't think there's anything wrong with liking your home tidy when you have children. My house was never as good as before - eg. paintwork needing touching up, a teeny bit of cluthere - but one thing I needed not to do was have my house totally disorganised and untidy.

There was something about keeping something of you and not relinquishing everything to parenthood. Just because I had kids, I refuse to live in chaos. I just don't feel right.

Some people are comfortable with it but maybe they were a bit before. That's fine by me and just a case of different personalities and preferences but that wasn't how it would be for.me

I couldn't be less smug. Just because I've said I'm able to do something well doesn't make me smug.

But that's a defensive comment. If someone can do something I'd like to be able do they must be smug.

I take it you're also a size 8, OP?

Oh god I am just jealous that anyone can really like cleaning enough to actually do it. I spend hours running, dog walking, horse riding, at the gym blah blah, get home and spend more hours messing about on here reading stuff and judging people I honestly wish I had just a tiny smidgen of the cleaning gene in me but it is just not there. You are either made that way or you're not I am convinced of it.

You are smugger than a smug thing in smug place doing smug things on a smug day, smugtastically!

I do hope you urinate rainbows and defecate glitter.

I can shoot ping pong balls out of my vajayjay.

I got my boyfriend round to clean my cooker last week. Now that's smug.

Happy medium is best for us I think extremes are when rot sets in, hording type mess and other extreme of show home. Really horrid to have your child hood and child hood home over shadowed by need to always be thinking of it and keeping it pristine.

Good for you. You are teaching your child responsibility and self discipline.

You're nasty chicken.

I don't expect Mothercare sell them nowadays Happy but here's a real-life actual image of my toddler enjoying the great outdoors

Never claimed to be otherwise, spiney!

Are you going to tell your mummy? Or the teacher?

I'm with you. That bloody poem about, "housework can wait" or those twee signs "excuse the mess, my children are making memories"

Well guess what, my child, who is singing loudly along with me whilst we do the housework, is making memories too.

I have absolutely no problem with how anyone keeps their house. What bothers me is that I am regarded with suspicion that mine is clean. How can I decide I would rather spend time hoovering than spend time with my child? How about A) it isn't healthy for a child to be with their mother constantly and they need to be able to entertain themselves sometimes and B) having a 7 year old who's primary method of getting around the house is crawling, you bet your arse my floors are clean.

I'm not bragging, or smug, or judgey, but my house is clean, and usually tidy. It is possible. We both work full time, we do have a big house and our child has a disability so we have to do quite a bit of physio with her.

Mostly we do housework a couple of evenings a week, but a couple of hours at the weekend with us all pulling our weight gets it done then we get out and have some fun.

It is possible to do, it's just about prioritising what you feel is important to you. I can't relax in a messy house, and I don't think I'm neglecting our daughter by keeping it clean, so I have a clean house.

OP, not unreasonable at all. I've been there, had the same remarks from people. I don't know why people feel the need to give me all the reasons they don't do it. I couldn't care less whether their houses are clean and tidy or not. I don't live there.

TheFullM I think we fall into this category too with emphasis on "happy"
Everybody always gets to where they need to be and with the right kit on.
There are times I'd be horrified if I had unexpected guests and other times I could happily know they're going for a wee Ina nice, clean loo.
I honestly think you can't compare how it is To keep on top of the house and housework when there is one or multiple children plus other messy adult.