To have a spotlessly clean house as a single mum to a toddler

[Hopeless29]

I'm a single mum. I have a three year old.

I've always been someone who liked to have a clean house. I'm not OCD about it but can't relax in a dirty or messy house.

Everyone told me once I have a child my house would suddenly become a tip but I knew that wouldn't be the case.

Yes my son has toys everywhere during the day but he's been taught to put them back when he's finished and I don't let him eat around the house as I think he should eat at the table.

Between 4-5pm while I'm cooking dinner I tidy the house. I actually enjoy it. My house is spotless and tidy and while it's harder to keep a house clean and tidy with children, I've not found it a chore or difficult.

My friends seem to think my house should be a tip (their own words) like theirs and seem very put out that my house is so clean. They make passive aggressive comments about it and how they don't have time to clean once the children have gone to bed.

I find it so irritating.

If they want to prioritise something else that's absolutely fine and I know some people find it a struggle to keep and tidy house with children and that's fine. For me, having a clean and tidy house is very important and I couldn't live in a dirty house. It only takes me an hour a day when I'm cooking dinner anyway. So it's no bother and it doesn't mean I'm neglecting my son inorder to have the place clean.

AIBU to want and to have a clean house?

The only way I can cook dinner/clear up afterwards is to sacrifice my living room to the DC (and even then there is normally constant crying and whining from the toddler that wants to be entertained picked up/do anything dangerous he possibly can). I love having a tidy house, clear up whenever I am 'free' but it's 2 vs 1 now and they are so quick at putting EVERYTHING on the floor!

What an odd OP and thread. Interesting reading, each to their own and all that shit....But really? Seriously?

Well, I am absolutely puzzled by the parents (mainly mums) who keep asking about new TV shows/ movies to watch because they just finished the latest series. I don't know how a parent, and a working one, can have so many free evenings to watch that much tv.

Most of us have more than enough time to do a lot of things (tidying up/ studying/ exercising/ painting/ watching tv/ being on here). I don't understand either why so much judgement and insults against someone who made difference choices.

Southern You sound very similar.
I was a single mum when my youngest was little and had a spotless house.
Like you I now have a (very messy) and 2 more children.
I work part-time and my husband works long hours and is out of the house early doors so the organising of it all is on me.

I nearly had a nervous breakdown when the school announced last week the children were to create a scene from their favourite book for World Book Day, seriously wtf !!
I then hadn't read all the million of emails and sent DS dressed up in favourite character, the only one in the bloody school !!
I do choose now to just sit and chill for an hour at 8pm once everything's done, I've normally been up since 5am and asleep by 9pm !
I could probably clean that extra hour but it is to relax for an hour.
The house is tidy and tea dishes are done.
It's a juggling act most days though and I'm convinced someone sneaks into my house and dumps dirty washing everywhere !

What is your toddler doing while you're job hunting, preparing for interviews, doing a manual job at home and keeping your house spotless? If you have childcare for them then fair enough but if not then I can see your friends point. Does your toddler get out every day for a run around the park for eg?

That's meant to be (very messy) DH.

I'm also confused about how you can cook a meal and tidy. I can sometimes manage to tidy away a few dishes, hang laundry etc in between stages of cooking but how can you tidy for an hour unless you are just heating meals up. Do you batch cook and do this? Genuinely interested as I'm looking for ways to be more organised.

Not being goady OP (as I also keep my house tidy) but how do you cook dinner and clean the house for an hour at the same time? Do you use a slow cooker or bung everything in the oven?

I don't think that you think you are being unreasonable and I say that as somebody with an immaculate house.

I am also intrigued as to how you cook dinner and clean the house at the same time unless you are just popping things into a slow cooker.

Yes I'd also like to hear how you cook and tidy at the same time? Presumably someone else (other half?) is watching your toddler during this time?

Honestly? I would worry about the state of mind of a single parent of a toddler whose house was "spotless", and worry about the happiness of their child.

Not hugely concerned, just a bit

Oh come on. It's easy to tidy and cook. I don't need to tell grown women how I do it.

Unless you're cooking steak, it's perfectly possible to clean while things are cooking in the oven.

My son has a varied, happy life and goes to nursery.

We get out every day for fresh air.

Having a clean house and working from home, doesn't mean your child is neglected. 😂

what food do people prepare that you cannot leave the kitchen whilst it's cooking?

And it only takes me an hour in total so that's less than many people spend on mumsnet.

Spending an hour cleaning doesn't mean my child will be neglected.

Saying such a things is absurd!

Our house contains two adults, two DC, a dog, five cats and two rabbits. I openly admit I am a clean and tidy person but our home is either immaculate or like something from the Loins of Satan, no middle-ground. I tidy every night before bed but we both work full-time, the DCs do activities and sports most evenings and I like sitting on the sofa and ignoring everyone while I fanny about on here, so it's all about priorities.

Plus, the dog loves to roll in fox shit so every now and then I catch a whiff of her and think "must get a refill for the plug-in" then forget it and leave her stinking the place out.

My neighbour's house was always like a show home (and still is) when her son was little. I wish I could say that the children felt unwelcome there, but they didn't!

She just had a gift for being very tidy - like you she taught her child to put things away; they had no pets so didn't have the hair and mud I fought on a daily basis; she was an enthusiastic polisher and her DH was/is the same - however when their son was awake he was able to play, alone or with his friends with lego etc from one end of the house to another, but within moments of him going to bed/ going to someone else's house the lot was cleared, cleaned if necessary, and put away.

I'm afraid that I am on the other end of the housekeeping spectrum . . .

At th house be of the women hate women who can keep a house clean. It's that simple. And I find that sad.

There's no need to be so defensive.

I'm not attacking anyone personally.

This is exactly what my friends do. Deep down they must feel insecure about their house as my best friend doesn't feel th need to make passive aggressive comments and her house isn't spotless.

What hours does your toddler do at nursery?

At th end of the day*

Whoooo

our home is either immaculate or like something from the Loins of Satan

Are we twins separated at birth?

OK that makes more sense, putting things in the oven is much easier. I tend to cook from scratch or use a slow cooker on work nights. I guess that is where our priorities differ

What about your garden?

i cook from scratch too. Always. We have no processed food.

But the food we like takes minutes to prepare and cooks in the oven or slowly on the hob.