To have a spotlessly clean house as a single mum to a toddler

[Hopeless29]

I'm a single mum. I have a three year old.

I've always been someone who liked to have a clean house. I'm not OCD about it but can't relax in a dirty or messy house.

Everyone told me once I have a child my house would suddenly become a tip but I knew that wouldn't be the case.

Yes my son has toys everywhere during the day but he's been taught to put them back when he's finished and I don't let him eat around the house as I think he should eat at the table.

Between 4-5pm while I'm cooking dinner I tidy the house. I actually enjoy it. My house is spotless and tidy and while it's harder to keep a house clean and tidy with children, I've not found it a chore or difficult.

My friends seem to think my house should be a tip (their own words) like theirs and seem very put out that my house is so clean. They make passive aggressive comments about it and how they don't have time to clean once the children have gone to bed.

I find it so irritating.

If they want to prioritise something else that's absolutely fine and I know some people find it a struggle to keep and tidy house with children and that's fine. For me, having a clean and tidy house is very important and I couldn't live in a dirty house. It only takes me an hour a day when I'm cooking dinner anyway. So it's no bother and it doesn't mean I'm neglecting my son inorder to have the place clean.

AIBU to want and to have a clean house?

People who dont clean much or have very untidy homes tend to be very defensive about it. They share cleaning quotes that justify it.

Dust if you must quote is one that was shared by my aunt who isnt very big on cleaning.

Thanks everyone.

Having a clean house doesn't mean you judge those that don't. They're completely different things.

It seems some people want to judge someone for having a clean house. Which to me is bizarre.

There's a lot of things people could judge another for. But having a clean house isn't one of them. Or shouldn't be.

And saying you like a clean house doesn't make you smug.

It can't be hard to keep a house clean when there's only two people living in it surely?

each to their own.

Strange thing to bring up.

2 people. One tiny? How hard is it to keep clean, seriously.

I suppose if your home all the time then you have the spare time with your child naps? I have two children (3 year old and a 5 month old) and I try to keep the house clean while I'm on maternity which is easy enough, I clean when babybis napping. Once I'm back at work full time though - will be harder.

I don't know if your friends are 'judging' you, they're just remarking hat your house is unbelievably clean for a house with a toddler. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you.

What do you do with your toddler in that hour of tidying?

My house has never been cleaner then when it was just me and baby/toddler dd1. No other adults to clean up after, only one child's worth of crap and I only worked part time. It was great!

Now its me, dp, Dd1, dd2 and dog it's a different story!

I don't think it's hard to keep it clean.
Some obviously struggle with it and I don't judge them for that.

I'd have my house clean in any circumstance though. For me it's a priority.

Not trying to be but I don't think it's that difficult to keep a house clean and tidy with one child when you're WAH all day.
DP and I work full time with two toddlers and 4 hours commute a day and ours is. We work hard for it to be that way l, I am master of life hacks (clean bathroom when kids in bath, shower when in it), but we manage.

In that one hour he plays happily independently. Toddlers need independent play. He can't be playing with me for every waking minute.

Don't worry, he's not neglected 😂🙄

If this isnt a stealth boast. Im getting coronated tomorrow.
You're a . Hip hip hooray. You're so perfect.

As a stay at home mum with 2 kids it's easy to keep my house pristine. An hour a day while the kids are sleeping (or when they are occupied with toys etc) I whizz round doing the hoovering, upstairs one day and down the next, wipe over kitchens and bathrooms, tidy washing away. When I worked full time or had a clingy poorly child on my days off, or had been up all night with a teething baby I found keeping the house pristine impossible. I don't judge messy houses, but I do have a few friends that judge mine being tidy. One in particular is a stay at home mum with all kids at school all day and says she'd rather chill and watch tv. Each to their own I say.

🙄

Sounds like your friends need to stop comparing themselves to others. Thief of joy and all that.

I can't clean and tidy while I cook dinner and look after the kids - I'm busy cooking!

My house was always clean and tidy when I was a single parent of one dc, when I worked FT and when I was a sahm

I've since had another and let me tell you I've lowered my standard considerably,
It's frustrating some days but my youngest is a toddler so I know it will get better when she's a bit bigger

I cook, look after kids, wash up and stick a broom up my arse and sweep at the same time too

Erm...well done?

Having a tidy and clean house is fairly normal for many people I know, in lots of different circumstances.

Others don't. I've never known it to come up in conversation really though.

What was the AIBU again?

How big is your flat/house? See in one hour it would just not be possible to clean my house, but I have a lot of rooms to clean so I work so somebody else can clean them as really I lose the will to live I just too much square footage and too many bathrooms. Am I smug no, but I hate cleaning.

Not all children play independently. Not all children leave you alone while you cook dinner, let alone leave you alone while you cook dinner AND tidy. Some children tip shit onto the floor as soon as they notice that you've picked it up.

So, you're lucky.

But well done, I'd love a tidy house.

YANBU to have a tidy house. YABU not to give me some tips!

I judge people for having spotless, tidy houses and seeing it as some kind of badge of honour. It strikes me as baffling in the same way trainspotting or macrame does -- is this really how you prefer to spend your time?