Neighbours shagging in their hot tub at 5am this morning

[SmallVera]

And the bastards regularly have loud parties in that festering chlamydia soup with their mates until the early hours at least twice a week.

They're keeping me awake and waking up the DC and I'm fed up with it.

They are really brash and vulgar and alas I am an anxious type and not brave enough to confront them.

But what can I do?!

Bless he has Aspergers and the mental age of a toddler (not me being narky - that's what his original professionals said). Anything beyound making toast independently would render the house being burnt down.

Which would in turn interrupt coke filled neighbours Chlamydia soup session.

How do hot tubs work? Are you meant to empty them each evening, like a normal bath?

Lucky bastards

Think all the ones saying stuff like "lucky bastards" and finding it funny are totally missing the point.
The OP has small children. What if it was them looking out of the window to see what all the noise was instead of the OP?
Grim, and pretty sickening thought to any normal parent.

Well, I say!

Change your network name to 'mychildrenhearyouhavingsexinyourhottub'. Playing '76 Trombones in the Big Parade' or 'Boo Boo Choo Choo' from Thomas the Tank Engine out the window at top volume would probably also destroy the ambience.

this thread has had me in tears with an aching jaw, Thank you OP!!
keep us posted and let us know if the problem gets sorted.

Sneak over after dark, add red food dye. Walk away. It's a cracker when I add it to the toilet tanks at work...😂

How about one of those liqui tabs that you put in your washing ?

Chuck it in, or several, it/they would be merrily dissolving away until they switch the thing on next and then......

Or a whole packet of washing powder, the cheaper the better.

Although we've been laughing with you and I hope it's made you feel better, make sure you record everything further. Times, dates , details of conversations etc. just in case.

Computer no they're treated as mini swimming pools and have a filtration system and chemicals added, I believe. I've never owned a sex pond one.

I'd be surprised if shagging takes place, PIV sex is very uncomfortable in water. Try it if you don't believe me.

Blimey I would be shouting out the window 'stop it you dirty bastards' but I really like jakelopes suggestion.

incredibule the swinging bollocks were visible, remember, & the vagina well it's owner was out of the water & draped over the side, remember?

Nice.

To be fair I would admire their bothering. I can't be arsed to shag in a warm comfy bed at 5 am! Even in my hay day.

Bleach...in the hot tub......to kill the germs ..obviously

Or megaphone alerting all the other neighbours...you may be able to charge a fee....

Sorry, Furry, I missed that. I had sweat dripping in my eyes when I was reading. Was there anything about a giant pot of lube?

Thank you Rocky

We're staying in a shed with one soon, and were wondering

I know someone who has similar neighbours.

Are you in Aberdeen? In the naice bit?

I think I can hazard a guess as to where that might be

Incredibule perhaps the hot tub is full of lube - heated up it would be particularly slippery "for your* enhanced PIV enjoyment".

*not your own particular enjoyment, clearly

Well, if I ever had aspirations to own a hot tub, this has put me right off. Chlamydia soup indeed.

They must be coked up to have outdoor sex at 5am in flipping March!!

My BIL has a hot tub but it's in a shed wooden gazebo type structure at the end of their garden, that backs onto a field - so if he and SIL decide to go in for some swinging bollocks action, hopefully no-one can see. Now I have an image of my in-laws scorched onto my retinas that I really didn't want.

Damn this thread!!

Lucky them!!

I'd print off his thread and post it through their letterbox.

Have you considered what life would be like without your arse?'

I want an opportunity to ask someone this question before I die.