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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you please help me settle an argument between my children?

182 replies

TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:09

Because we have tried and failed.

Our children share a room. The eldest bought an Xbox with his birthday money a couple of years ago.
We have room for one TV in their room and no more. The youngest loves it, wants to have a go, wants his own, wants to share.
The eldest, give him his due is very generous but like most people has his limits.
Ordinarily we'd tell the youngest to save for his own and this would work but this is a gaming thing and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:57

wow so many different and strong opinions.

I really appreciate your time in posting. Can I ask of those who have been in my position?
That would be really helpful.

OP posts:
FlouncingInAWinterWonderland · 05/03/2017 19:57

One day each of TV use.

TV time slots i.e afterschool mon/ wed/ fri and Sunday am

Any arguing and TV goes off for 24 hrs.

Younger DS buys into Xbox then alternate days/ timeslot use.

If both 10 plus I'd get them to be involved in agreeing a way forwards - maybe no xbox and TV until they agree to work on a compromise.

TrinityForce · 05/03/2017 19:57

Difficult...

I'd personally lift the 'no gaming in the living room' and buy younger DS his own xbox/a family xbox/ps4 for the living room.

I think it's cruel to younger DS, even though my logical side says 'tough shit', I couldn't actually do that to my kid.

lalalalyra · 05/03/2017 20:01

My girls have a calendar and they write the times on there that they want the tv (the twins have very, very different tv viewing habits). It's sort of "booking" the tv in their room. DD2 will also mark on there when she's having her friend over for a gaming session.

You say eldest wants the x-box just for himself - does that mean he doesn't want to let youngest play it at all? If that's the case I'd be giving him an allocated time on the shared tv. You can't buy yourself something that means you also get to take a shared resource off someone else. Life is about compromising. If you want sole use of a tv then you have to buy a tv, if there is genuinely no space for two tv's then you can't have sole use of one.

RupertsMum2 · 05/03/2017 20:02

Buy the youngest a tablet and download games for him. Ds1 can have a shot of the tablet when ds2 is on the Xbox.

TheOnlyColditz · 05/03/2017 20:03

I think you've been very unfair to allow one console in the bedroom only, and it's ds1's. What about ds2? This is an opportunity he can never have because that space is taken.

Either allow no consoles, buy the console from your ds1 yourself and give it to them as a shared gift, or get another tv for their room. You could wallmount a small one.

ZilphasHatpin · 05/03/2017 20:04

wow so many different and strong opinions.

I really appreciate your time in posting. Can I ask of those who have been in my position?
That would be really helpful.

Are you a recent namechanger? Your posting style is very familiar.

TheOnlyColditz · 05/03/2017 20:05

TheCuntess, I have 2 boys ages 10 and 13, and a Dss aged 13, and a SD aged 11.

All have their own console and their own v. small tv, in their crampy little shared spaces. They'd much rather be cramped than share

AndNowItsSeven · 05/03/2017 20:05

Why do they need a tv in their room it's really unsociable?

RiverdaleJughead · 05/03/2017 20:08

Im 22 and have still never had a TV in my room ... it ruins the sanctuary.

Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 20:10

Zilphas you've caught me!

Hmm
OP posts:
Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 20:11

river im 34 and view never has a TV in my room.

OP posts:
SquidgeyMidgey · 05/03/2017 20:13

Sounds like the eldest is being quite generous. My line would be that the youngest needs to learn that just because he wants it that doesn't mean he can have it, but if they have to share a room and it's under his nose that would be hard for a child.

ZilphasHatpin · 05/03/2017 20:13

Well I'm throwing you back. Far too prickly!

BackforGood · 05/03/2017 20:13

I think its very unfair to have it in the bedroom, but one of the people whose bedroom it is, isn't allowed to use it.
I'd put it in a living room.
I think its4 just asking for conflict to have it in their bedroom
(Yes, my dc are 20, 18, and 15, as it seems to matter)

Darlink · 05/03/2017 20:14

X box is evil.
(Not helpful)

GreenShadow · 05/03/2017 20:16

We were the opposite of you.
The Playstation had to stay in the living room where it could be used by all. No TVs in bedrooms. Meant all the family, adults included, had to take turns to access the television, but it worked.
Once they got to 15, we did let them have a computer in the rooms. Not sure I am particularly happy about that as they do/did (some have left home) spend too long upstairs.

Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 20:17

its not physically possible to put it in the fucking front room, or I couldn't be typing typing this fucking thread,

THE CUNTESS

OP posts:
WankersHacksandThieves · 05/03/2017 20:17

I have two teen gaming DSs. I guess the point is that the tv was a shared resource but now if DS1 is using it with the xbox, then DS2 can't use the tv for anything else. DS1 is being reasonably generous but is getting a bit peed off as it's still not enough for DS2 and he's badgering him. Also not many games now are 2 player and DS1 may want games that are unsuitable for DS2.

I was going to suggest the same as RupertsMum I'd encourage DS2 to get a gaming tablet (something like an Nvidia Shield tablet) which can be used as a standalone but can also be linked into a tv.

YellowDinosaur · 05/03/2017 20:17

My mind is boggling at the idea that 2 boys sharing a room would have 2 tvs and 2 consoles in there. Really???? Hmm

This would clearly only be necessary if they each had unlimited screen time and there was no expectation ever to interact with each other. What a bloody terrible life lesson.

Yes, for clarity, I am judging

I have 2 boys aged 9 and 11. They share a ps4 and tv. No tvs in their bedrooms though and I can't see dh or I ever changing our minds on this. We don't have TV in our room either.

Sparklingbrook · 05/03/2017 20:18

When they are gaming online with friends and talking into microphones/headsets they have to be in their bedrooms. I don't want to hear it.

Emboo19 · 05/03/2017 20:18

Can't ds2 have his own Xbox/PlayStation and just use it on the bedroom tv, my bf has both a Xbox and PlayStation plugged into the same tv yep he's that grown up!
Then it would just be a case of them having set times on their own console, so say 4-5 ds2 5-6 ds1 obviously depending on how much time you let them have and any other activities etc.

YellowDinosaur · 05/03/2017 20:19

For clarity, I wouldn't judge a shared TV and console in a bedroom, even if I wouldn't want this. But one each? Really?

ZilphasHatpin · 05/03/2017 20:20

agree yellow.

Baffled by how it's not physically possible to put an Xbox in a front room. Is it too heavy to carry? Confused

BackforGood · 05/03/2017 20:22

Why are you being so rude and aggressive ? Confused

In you op you gave the impression you had decided you didn't want it in the front room. You didnt say it physically wouldnt fit Hmm