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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you please help me settle an argument between my children?

182 replies

TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:09

Because we have tried and failed.

Our children share a room. The eldest bought an Xbox with his birthday money a couple of years ago.
We have room for one TV in their room and no more. The youngest loves it, wants to have a go, wants his own, wants to share.
The eldest, give him his due is very generous but like most people has his limits.
Ordinarily we'd tell the youngest to save for his own and this would work but this is a gaming thing and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:26

knob

zilp at no point did I say it was the 10 + year old having tantrums.... read the thread and think a little. Grin

OP posts:
ZilphasHatpin · 05/03/2017 19:30

Read the thread, saw you mentioned "male kids 10+" thought a little and assumed kids meant plural. I'm guessing you made a mistake. So what age is Tantrummer? 2?

wendytorrence · 05/03/2017 19:31

I have 2 boys that share a room, eldest has his consoles in the conservatory, youngest has his the lounge. They each have their own TVs and consoles.

Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:32

Sparkling that's our future
not totally agree
DJ I dont know I shall ask him.

OP posts:
myoriginal3 · 05/03/2017 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SprogletsMum · 05/03/2017 19:35

There must be room for another small tv somewhere in their room. Could one be wall mounted? Then younger ds could save for his own. I don't think consoles are really made for sharing.

Serialweightwatcher · 05/03/2017 19:35

It's a bit awkward when they share a room and one of them owns it - it would have been better if they'd had it as a shared present and got equal time on it, playing together or taking turns. Do either of them have a tablet or similar? Maybe pay your oldest for half of the xbox and buy a tablet and let them share both - taking proper turns so as to avoid rows

allchattedout · 05/03/2017 19:36

Jeez- let them play in the lounge or get another small TV for the room for the younger one.

You sound like a nightmare.

Sparklingbrook · 05/03/2017 19:39

I think a lot of the parents with the no TV in bedrooms rule when DC are younger soon get to grips with the advantages once the teen years arrive.

Sparklingbrook · 05/03/2017 19:39

What has the OP done wrong here? Confused

Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:40

Rather that then being original.

all I let them play in the lounge and theres no physical room for another tv. Did you read my OP. God you sound like a nightmare. Love you!

OP posts:
Miserylovescompany2 · 05/03/2017 19:43

Youngest could always invest some of his Bday money in a percentage of the Xbox. This would mean oldest still has more time as its essentially his.

Youngest gets 1 hr
Eldest (majority owner) gets 2 hrs

RB68 · 05/03/2017 19:44

as far as I am concerned you don't "count" you share with siblings - surely it would be more fun to have someone to play with anyway. There is only one TV that is 50% the youngests and he shares. Its either that or no gaming when both in room. I think its just tough that eldest paid for it but the youngest should not have access when eldest not there. Life isn't fair and sometimes you have to be generous and that is particularly true where family are concerned

Chocolatecake12 · 05/03/2017 19:44

I have 2 boys and at 13 rose fest got tv in his room and Xbox the following Christmas.
Youngest is 10 and has been asking for ages to have tv in his room. I'm holding firm at the moment and planning to wait until he's a teenager too.
Your situation sounds a nightmare. Do they watch tv together? Are the arguements just over the console?
Could they have alternate days as their days to choose what they do? Or time slots during the weekend or evening?

JoJoSM2 · 05/03/2017 19:45

I think it would be normal to share. The younger one would need to ask politely and the older one to offer for the little one to play when convenient. I think it's completely unnecessary for people to have a set of everything and a waste of money. If there are tantrums etc. then frankly you need to work on your parenting skills.

Chocolatecake12 · 05/03/2017 19:47

Op is asking for help to settle an argument not for judgements on her parenting skills.

Sparklingbrook · 05/03/2017 19:48

Thanks for confirming Chocolate I was beginning to wonder if it was me.

harrypotternerd · 05/03/2017 19:49

Can you sit down with your eldest and try and make him see it from your youngests point of view? So you could explain the TV is shared but it seems youngest doesnt get much time etc and the ask if he would 'sell' 50% of the xbox and then both DC can have equal time?

RebelRogue · 05/03/2017 19:50

Are any of the games multiplayer? Can you buy the youngest a controller as well so they can play together?

Original poster
TheCuntess · 05/03/2017 19:51

RBI I said that. It doesn't work, I dont blame them. If one of my brothers tried to drive my car with that mentality, I'd tell them to shit off.

Choco they do watch TV together, they are best mates. But the big one wants the console to himself and I totally understand. Its the only thing he's ever said he wants for just him so it should be.
I definitely will not punish him for that as others suggest (ie turn off xbox)

OP posts:
Witchend · 05/03/2017 19:52

I think it's unfair for one child to save up and the other effectively to get it too.

It's also unfair to insist he lets the other pay 50% and then owns 50%, particularly as you acknowledge he's been generous so far.

Fine if you suggest it and he says okay. But it is something he chose to save up-and I'll guess the dc2 can't buy one on his own anyway, so he would have everything to gain from this, whereas dc1 may feel he isn't interested in the money so isn't gaining.

Totally agree with:
I'm not seeing the problem. Eldest already shares. Youngest can't have free reign, it isn't his. Youngest needs to accept this. What is the issue?

There is a certain satisfaction as a teen with little money control in something you have saved up for and bought on your own and now is yours.

lalalalyra · 05/03/2017 19:53

What are the arguments over? Is it that eldest is taking over the shared tv the whole time or that youngest wants to play on the xbox as well and isnt allowed?

We have a time limit on hogging shared resources like tv in communal or shared rooms.

Whisky2014 · 05/03/2017 19:54

No way. Do not make it ok for you gest to buy 50 prevent of it. So 50 precentor of the time too I guess when it was the older kids item. That's just wrong. No tv/gaming In the living room? Why? YABU.

allegretto · 05/03/2017 19:54

Do you have male kids 10+
Yes, I do. They push the boundaries a lot but tbh this one has never come up because it's just not something we'd ever consider.

Whisky2014 · 05/03/2017 19:56

Its the only thing he's ever said he wants for just him so it should be.

Except you also said you loved the idea of youngest paying 50 percent. So which is it?

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