To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

[Isthismummy]

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some way

I think if you are only having 18 guests they should have a proper meal and not afternoon tea.

The people attending this wedding are GROWN UPS, right? I'm sure they can figure out they should eat before a 12.45pm wedding...

THEY CAN EAT WHAT THEY WANT WHEN THEY WANT.

I'm assuming my adult guests can work out the intricacies of a bar menu without my express guidance. This is a tiny wedding of my closet friends.

Seriously, is food all people care about? Should I have an ambulance crew on standby for the people who might pass out if they don't eat every hour on the hour??

Its, this is why you should just stick to your guns. Your wedding is fine. ANYONE with a brain is going to read the invitation, 'Afternoon tea, okay. I'll make sure I feed myself enough breakfast and lunch and make plans for dinner. I mean, duh.

That wedding sounds wonderfu. I hope this is not too cheeky but would you mind Pm me with the hotel details. I am trying to organise my Golden Wedding Celebration for 6 children and 22 adults. That sounds perfect.

And I see some are travelling a long way. No it's not enough. Sorry. And you don't sound short of money either if your favourite hotel is 4 star.

But if I was having 100 guests Afternoon Tea would be fine Viviennemary?

This thread is getting ridiculous now!

OP. Your plans are perfect.
I'm assuming most of your guests are functioning adults who don't need permission to eat

Actually Dumdedumdedum at 12:07 said it best! As long as people are aware, they can make dinner plans.

It's the Chesterfield Mayfair AstrantiaMajour. It's lovely.

FFS, Its, now you can see why so many people elope! Some folks are never happy, no matter what they're offered. Your tea sounds way better than the 'proper' meal of boring ol' chicken with two vegs. I've looked up the menu and it sounds terrific.

Just tell the bridesmaids if they want anything else they organise it!

I'm an adult, if invited to something like this I either organise myself or don't go.

No, I didn´t mean you should feed them before the ceremony! I must have explained myself badly if you thought I meant that. Sorry, I hate typing on my phone so explained poorly.

I think most important is to have the wedding you want. I hope all goes well for you.

I'd be delighted with your plans. I had an evening do for my wedding which meant about 20 extra turned up. I hadn't planned food at all as it was a cricket club and a handful of workmates. I had never been married before so had no idea how the etiquette worked. My mum sorted out some crisps and it was all fine. Alcohol was ore important than food for most of my guests!

Who ARE these people who want to spend all day and night consuming food whilst in a posh frock??? I'd spend all day sucking my stomach in to hide the bloating.

I also don't know who these PPs are who think afternoon tea is one sandwich and a cake. My husband likes his food (a lot) but if we had afternoon tea that would be it: he'd stuff loads down and that would be his meal for the day. Same if we have a cooked breakfast in a hotel. You get hungry : buy some pork scratchings from the bar!
I think your bridesmaids just want to extend the day if I am reading this right , so it's not really about the food. Surely they can decamp to a nearby pub?? They will have forgotten all about you by the time they've had a few cocktails!

lol Viviennemary. I'll remember not to post your invite to you then😉

I'd happily travel for this, because I've seen the menu, and provide my own lunch and dinner or just not go but wouldn't expect the host to feed me all day when they invited me for afternoon tea.

I'm kind of seeing it myself as well now expatinscotland😂

Thank you Sonjadog

Should I have an ambulance crew on standby for the people who might pass out if they don't eat every hour on the hour??

and perhaps ask the hospital to set up some kind of food drip for their arrival famished at A and E

Yeah Ilikebeans. It's more about extending the day than the food.

The restaurant was just an idea for that.

isthis I was just lurking but I'm so infuriated at some of the ridiculous comments on this thread!!!
Your wedding sounds absolutely amazing, utterly perfect. Don't change a thing!! I would have loved a wedding like this.
Whenever you receive an invitation to anything you always have to work out the logistics.....surely your guests are adults and can do this for themselves??? Pmsl at a pp getting het up about eating on a train.....perhaps anyone who can't sort food out for themselves shouldn't be allowed out without a carer anyway!!
You are offering a delicious afternoon tea in a beautiful setting. What more could anyone want? If they don't like the idea or can't manage without food every seven minutes they don't have to come.
Your day sounds wonderful, wishing you all the best xxx

You gat see who the grabby bunch are! If a friend invited me for afternoon tea - I would expect dinner as well! It's not difficult to work it!

Leave the bridesmaids to it!

Some people want simple - it's lovely - don't get side tracked!

If I'd traced to Londaon I'd live the freedom of a show or fancy dinner!

Haha. Yes "This person has only had ten sandwiches and eight cakes today. Where's the crash team"

Seriously, is food all people care about? Should I have an ambulance crew on standby for the people who might pass out if they don't eat every hour on the hour??

You're starting to sound about rude. No one has said food at 1:45, 2:55, 3:45 so this "on the hour every hour" is straw man nonsense. No one will pass out but people might (Depending on the size of the afternoon tea) be uncomfortable and hungry and as a host that is something you need to consider.

You're sort of implying people who eat more than once between 12pm (which is the latest people realistically can eat before your wedding) and 8pm are greedy. They're not. They're normal.

If it's unlimited afternoon tea, it's probably fine. If it's 3 sandwiches and a scone each, your guests will be hungry. If you don't give a shit about this because they won't pass out and frankly they're a bunch of greedy fatties anyway for eating more than one main meal per day then that's your call, but you did ask for feedback on your plans.

Vivienne you're totally ridiculous

And I see some are travelling a long way. No it's not enough. Sorry. And you don't sound short of money either if your favourite hotel is 4 star.

What English Book of Law of Weddings states this, erm, sorry? What made you the wedding police? If I knew you in RL I'd be sure not to invite you in mine.

You and some others sound like proper materialists. I've always been puzzled at who the fuck actually thinks that wedding is all about spend, spend, spend, and for people who have no appreciation for love, intimacy and close relations (ie the real meaning of a wedding) - because surely if the guests have the right appreciation they don't care!

If someone's loaded I'd much rather they donate some to charity than spend more on already over-expensive wedding bells and whistles, for guests who don't even care about the couple but are there just to fill their tummies and whatever.

Thank you ladymariner