To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

[Isthismummy]

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some way

"ceremony at 12.45 followed by afternoon tea reception"
Seems crystal clear to me, and I'd expect to be heading home by 6 pm.

The clue is the word "afternoon".

My (and my dh's😀) wedding was at a registry office at noon, then the 12 of us went to a very nice resturant that was a 5 minute drive from there, everyone ordered off the menu, we had a wedfing cake that the BM and MOH picked up in the morning and delivered to the resturant before the ceremony, then dh and I left by 2:30 or so. We had dinner reservations at a place over 2 hours drive away, and we were so stuffed from the big lunch it was kind of a waste. I wish that we had thought of having a high tea. But they rest of our stay there we opted no lunch, so we could do the dinners justice.

Original idea sounds fab!!!! Day boozing in a lovely venue with your nearest and dearest - lovely! I would scrap the restaurant though, sounds like that's adding in formality when you really don't want that.

I had a huge wedding, which I loved & wouldn't change but can completely see the appeal of doing what you've described x

God, it sounds amazing. I would love to go to a wedding like this.

Don't change a thing but make it clear in your invitations what's happening when so that people know when they are being fed and when it'll all be over.

Really, can't think of anything nicer.

If you are worried about the people coming from the NE, you could just drop them a chatty email saying you appreciate them making the trip and asking whether they would like any suggestions for things to see and do while they are in London. But TBH even that is unnecessary- they are coming to celebrate your wedding and can presumably make plans for themselves.

Have whatever type of wedding you want. Don't give in to any pressure and just inform your guests of the arrangements beforehand.

BUT

Your posts betray quite a snotty attitude to people who need to eat more than once a day, OP. Evening meals are normal even when you had a substantial lunch (which is what your afternoon tea is, really). You sound a bit like you think anyone who wants to eat dinner is a fat bastard

Your plan sounds great - resist the pressure!

Your day sounds lovely. If your guests want to go for dinner or go party there's nothing stopping them from leaving in the late afternoon and doing just that. It's not like your planning to hold them all hostage til 2am, they'll have the evening to themselves.

I didn't see if you'd sent invites yet, but if I were you I'd make the end of the night 6pm. That's still more than enough time and makes it very clear that everyone will be left to their own devices for dinner.

And DH and I are greedy - we are also perfectly capable of getting ourselves ready, heading to a lunchtime wedding via a nice brunch place, stuff our selves with afternoon tea and then find a sneaky burger post event. Not sure why other people would find that impossible.

It would not be enough food for me personally, especially with all the booze that weddings usually entail! Not so much the amount of food, but more the timings. So if I was coming to your wedding I would: have a big breakfast, have a snack in my handbag for post-ceremony, be prepared to order chips in the bar. I really do need to eat often though. I can have a huge lunch but will still need a piece of toast or something in the evening when my blood sugar drops. I would not want to go for a big meal just after afternoon tea though, so would not be encouraging the restaurant idea! I would suggest a second round of food (cheese?) at about 7:00 so that people can stay on for drinks, but of course that is totally up to you!

Also, I think your wedding sounds lovely!

I have Google the hotel and afternoon tea stops at 530 . So leaving at 6 seem the best idea . The email with timing sound good .

It sounds ideal. If I was invited to such a wedding I would have brunch on arrival in London and probably expect to leave early evening. I'd not expect food/drinks to also be put on in the evening!

Don't succumb to the pressure. If this is what you want then great, it's your wedding. What does your DH-to-be think of all the interfering?

Thread has moved on but thanks for reply, op - long time since my reg office visit but sounds like the ceremony has stretched a little.

Sounds like you have it all covered, enjoy!

OP I FUGGING LOVE THE CHESTERFIELD! that is an amazing place to go, and you should be aware that one of the glorious things about the bar there is that they ply you generously with twiglets, olives, nuts, salty stuff.

Now, if your guests really feel the need for more, I have just the place for you... a very short walk up Berkeley Square and first left on Mount Street (a 5 minute drunken stagger I have made from teh Chesterfield bar many times) is Fino's wine bar / Delfino's pizzeria above it. It could not be less "Mayfair", but it's the most cheerful, lively happy place (nb tho' Finos is below ground) and you can get a giant bowl of pasta or a huge pizza for what most of the rset of Mayfair charges for a bottle of still water.

ENjoy - it sounds fantastic.

Okay I understand this now. People who think this sounds lovely all talk about cakes and drinking lots. Not my idea of a good time. But if I was close to you I would go and plaster on a smile.

Christ on a bike! There are FIVE different times of sandwiches, which are not cake, unlimited, and unlimited tea, coffee, herbals teas and hot chocolate, which are non-alcoholic. Plenty of non-cake options.

OP, I really hope guests who think less of you for not having the boring ol' breakfast + evening do just decline the invitation and you have a lovely day.

types of sandwiches

I am talking about comments of those saying they would love this. It is all about cake and alcohol.

I've said I'd love it. I don't care for cake or sweets, though. Plenty of people have said they'd enjoy it and haven't mentioned cake or alcohol.

Honestly, if you despise something so much, why go?

Do people really get that hungry? I only eat one main meal a day, same as my dp and my family are all the same. I find Afternoon Tea leaves me absolutely stuffed

Yes people get hungry. And afternoon tea wont leave everyone stuffed. The worst weddings I have ever been to, regardless of where they are or how much money gets spent on them are ones where no thought is given to catering for the guests. Thats usually where they go on late though, if youre planning on an early finish people can go somewhere else and buy themselves dinner.

You would go and plaster on a smile, thinking "this isn't MY idea of a good time" because the type of food isn't what you would personally choose?

Blimey There really are people like this.

Sounds perfect

I think it sounds great but I would provide something later just in case.

Assuming you wont be having a wedding cake what with all the lovely cakes during the afternoon tea...well what about having a cheese and pork pie cake instead? Then serving it up as a late snack for those who stay on after you've gone?

I see a wedding as a day of celebration and festivities. I would be a little miffed about taking a day off work to travel for a wedding which sounds really boring.

Your guests obviously sense this too and they are hinting for you to do more. Listen to them, you don't have to pay for a dinner after and make that clear but it's something else they can look forward to.

Will there be any music

There is always the option of declining if an invitation isn't to your tastes , and her guests are doing no such thing, her two 'mates' are trying to pressure her into doing things she and her fiance don't want.

I would be a little miffed about taking a day off work to travel for a wedding which sounds really boring.

You could always, you know, chat to people and socialise and enjoy one another's company. Just a thought.