To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

[Isthismummy]

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some way

Good for you if you can get it all in! Every afternoon tea I've been for has been gargantuan and delicious:)

as others have said, as long as everyone is clear as to what the plan is, then it should all be fine. as yours is a cozy wedding party, i think its ok for you to tell everyone if its a big belly buster afternoon tea or 2 sandwiches and a cup of lapsung soochung. have a lovely day though. sounds fab

How things have changed! I have been married twice. First time was a trad. church do followed by reception/lunch for over 100. We left for honeymoon at around 6 (having changed and thrown bouquet). Think my mum had some friends round to hers afterwards? Second time was similar but registry office and (lovely) lunch at hotel for about 25. Again we buggered off on honeymoon at around 6. Really can't be bothered with "evening dos". Your wedding sounds perfect Isthismummy. I am with you - afternoon tea would be enough for me for the rest of the day. Also your N.E. guests presumably will be staying over so will have had a big breakfast. Everyone is capable of making their own arrangements for dinner if they want it. Not your responsibility. Have a wonderful day.

I might need to do a Mayfair restaurants scouting expedition

I wish those times would return motheroftwoboys😄

Your wedding sound like a fabulous and classy affair. And more importantly, YOUR perfect day.

I work as a wedding manager at a large wedding venue. I swear wedding guests lose ALL common sense the moment they walk through the doors. Some of the things I've witnessed of guests attending weddings had appalled me over the years.

The invite clearly stated he days plan. So any grown adult can then work out their additional food requirements and cater for themselves adequately.

Please don't worry about this ANYMORE OP, enjoy your lead up to the day.

I love afternoon tea as well - and I can eat and eat (my lack of waistline is testament to that!).

I think what some people have become hung up on, is that it will be a sarnie and a solitary scone each. If it's anything like the afternoon tea I go for - it's huge and even I can't finish it!

I think your wedding sounds lovely. Go for it, enjoy it!

Your wedding plans sound really lovely, and you shouldn't be bulldozed by other people's greed into doing something you don't want to do! As long as you make it quite clear what is on offer, surely those who want to go for a meal later in the day can arrange something for themselves.

I'm utterly astonished at the number of people who demand to be fed at regular intervals as wedding GUESTS! Whatever has happened to being grateful for being invited to a meal at someone else's expense??

I like to eat fairly regularly, and find it hard to go for hours without anything to eat at all, but I view that as my problem, and my responsibility to sort out. We went to a wedding recently that was a 3 hour drive away, started at 1pm, followed by a buffet reception. It was our decision not to stay over, either the night before, or on the day of the wedding. We got up early enough to have breakfast before leaving, packed a picnic, and made sure we arrived with enough time to eat it (discreetly out of sight) before the wedding. I also made sure that we had snacks available in the car. The buffet was lovely, and there was plenty to eat.

Honestly, it's one day - no one is going to starve!

Do you know l'Artiste Muscle in Shepherd's Market, OP, if you fancy doing a recce of the area?! Complete contrast to your afternoon tea venue, but great atmosphere (though not quiet) and you don't have to eat if you don't want to, if I recall correctly. (But I used to go there regularly 25 years ago, so things may have changed since then!)
Good grief, I've not been homesick for London for ages!

A pp described themselves as a gannet, which is true of me too. Afternoon tea in a London hotel would be quite enough for me. I wouldn't eat lunch if I was having afternoon tea and if I had anything in the evening it would just be cheese and biscuits or something. Posters who are saying 'sandwich and cake isn't enough' don't understand afternoon tea! As you say most people are staying the night before they can have a substantial breakfast and if they want to eat in the evening, that's up to them.

Don't arrange anything else. Do make it very clear what the plans are. An itinerary in the invites sounds like a good idea.

My only thought is that after the 15 min ceremony and 10 min walk to the hotel, it is a long time to hang about. If it rains where will your photos be?

People need to have a big breakfast if no food until 3pm. Then munch away and probably all done and dusted by five. So those that want to head off on the razzle can do so.

Nice short wedding. Enjoy!

I think your plans sound fantastic. I would not bother with a restaurant. If you want to do something, maybe you can negotiate with the hotel do to some fish and chips at about 8ish.

But that is just a suggestion, your wedding sounds fantastic, so don't be bullied.

I think it sounds like a gorgeous wedding - different and delicious. Don't know whether you have already sorted your wedding cake, but my sister had a wedding cake made of 4 whole cheeses stacked into tiers with bunches of grapes/cherry tomatoes in place of flowers. It was topped with 2 little mice. If you liked the sound of it, that would be something lovely to have a bit later with a variety of crackers.

Your plans sound wonderful OP. I am going to remember your format in case I ever do get married.

The afternoon tea looks lush! I'm not a big eater day to day but on special occasions I can eat like a scabby horse.

The only menu I can find is the Charlie/Wonka special one which sounds like it would be too much chocolate in the cakes for me.

I would eat at least two fingers of each sandwich, at least one of each scone, then pick at any of the cakes that took my fancy.

Put a copy of the menu in with your invites then it is very clear the quantity and quality of food that is being arranged for your guests.

Selection of homemade sandwiches
Honey Roast Ham with Cheddar Cheese and Tomato Chutney on
Onion Bread

Roast Chicken with Grain Mustard Mayonnaise and Nibbed Almonds
on White Bread

Scottish Smoked Salmon with Cream Cheese on Brown Bread

Free Range Egg Mayonnaise and Watercress on Basil Bread

Cucumber and Cream Cheese on White Bread

Freshly baked home-made chocolate chip and fruit scones
served with Cornish clotted cream, homemade strawberry jam

Selection of homemade pastries and cupcakes
Oompa Loompa Cupcake
Blueberry Macaroon
Fizzy Lifting Cake
Golden Egg
Chocolate Wonka bar

Stuff everyone else. They're not getting married. You are. It sounds like my absolute perfect wedding. Enjoy your day. You might need to get assertive (stroppy) with people to get them to back off though xx

Should I have doggy bags on the seats due the people who can't possibly survive a few hours without eating

Any chance of afternoon tea doggy bags for contributors to this thread Mummy?

I have a Pavlovian response the the word "cake", whether written, typed, spoken or whispered, and it has been mentioned a LOT!.

I also like sammiches (except pilchard) and love scones, so pretty much anything that's left, if you ask the hotel staff to shovel the lot into a black bin bag and send it to me us c/o MumsNet.

Thank you very much

It's not classy to invite people to a hotel and not provide them with a meal if they have travelled a long way. Why should they have to have a cooked breakfast and buy their own evening meal. I expect there was a poem in the invite too.

Don't worry about cash bar. I've been to dozens of weddings over the years and only one had a free bar - and only for a certain amount of time. And yes, people did take advantage totally - always the same with a free bar in my experience (been to many a do with a free bar just it weddings) with people Roding stuff for the sake of it. People tend to be a bit more sensible with their own cash! Most have had some fizz and/or wine in tables at the start or during the meal which normally works out as about half a bottle per adult guest and one fizzy glass.

Two fingers of a sandwich!!!!

Faints.

Lovely menu
I'm overweight.

A poem in the invite? I don't even know what you're talking about Viviennemary.

So I'll just assume instead that you're being deliberately goady

I am now re-thinking my birthday plans as unlimited afternoon tea sounds delicious

I'll do that HappyFlappy.

Not my sandwiches or cakes though because I'll have eaten them all

Special subject. The ceremony is at 12.45 and lasts 25 minutes. Then it's 10-15 minutes walk to hotel, with photos in the park first.

The room is officially booked from 2pm, but we can go earlier if it's raining. If so then we will just have to have indoor pictures

Thanks to this thread I now know Mayfair has a chippy.
I know where I'm going on my next trip to London 😀

Hulababy. We'll put some money behind bar, but once it's gone it's gone.

Luckily there's nobody there who should really take advantage. Plus hopefully nobody will be planning on getting hammered at 5pm (with the possible exception of my DB)