Is this an excessive amount for workplace money collection?

[StopBloodyClimbing]

One of my colleagues is getting married next month. We're a small team, there are only 8 of us. We works shifts and because of the days we work I have only worked a handful of shifts with the person who is getting married. I like them though, just haven't spent much time with them. The whole team get on okay buy we're not really friends, just colleuges.

Normally when we do a money collection for gifts it is about £5-10. It's only ever been for people leaving/having babies though, there hasn't been a wedding one before.

My manager has decided for this one we should all put in £35. I was . To me this is a lot of money at the moment. I work one or two short shifts a week for minimum wage, have two dc and am expecting dc3. Dp had recently had to take a pay cut so we are skint. £35 is pretty much a week's wages for me. My manager (bit of a bully and not at all approachable) keeps reminding me to bring in my money next week and reiterating the amount.

AIBU to think it's excessive? I genuinely don't know. A few years ago I would have just paid up no question but things are so tight at the moment I think that my judgement has been skewed somewhat.

That's an excessive amount to put in each. Even if you are very close to a colleague you should give what you want and can afford.

Good luck with your big girl pants on Monday. You can do this!

Gosh that's a lot!

I earn pretty well but I've never put more than £20 in. Most times it's £5.

Easier said than done to say no but you need to visualise your children missing out on things. She's a bully and needs pulling up on her behaviour, can you get with other colleagues and complain to senior management. We have just had a wedding collection and not many colleagues put in as we all work different and part time shifts. We got £40. our colleague was over the moon as she had not expected anything. I think your colleague would be mortified at the pressure you have all been put under.

It's a bizarrely specific amount, is it to add up for a specific gift or just a cash present? If I was ever going to contribute to something like that it would be in single note denominations, like £5, £10, £20 etc, I might have a tenner in my wallet or get 20 from an ATM but 35 is more awkward to arrange (I'm not silly it's much easier than say £37.74), or maybe that's because the cash machines in my area don't like giving out £5 notes.
Tbh if I was being pressured by my boss to bring this in I'd do it.....But have it changed into 1 and 2p coins and dump it on his desk saying I'd managed to get it together finally but had to raid the children's university savings bottle/holiday fund/suitable sob story. But then I'm a vindictive bitch and would enjoy seeing if he squirmed or not......

The manager is female, it's a bit sad how everyone has assumed it's a male.

NO, just no! £5 its the law. tell them no

Tell them you have your own card. Then put what you can afford in it!

'Sorry Manager/Boss, I have bought X a present and card myself! Sorry, I can't join in with the collection this time!'

Any update, OP? overinvested

Please do not put in £35. This is not acceptable. I manage a team, we only collect for special birthdays, weddings, births. But people put in as much or as little as they want. I wouldn't dream of telling my team what to contribute. Put in what you want. If anything is said, reply "I have contributed". Your line manager can't make you and if you are made to feel uncomfortable, speak to them on a 1-2-1 basis, or raise with alternative manager/hr..... don't give in.

Totally agree with Elodie on this

£35 each is a ridiculously excessive amount to pay. However why is your manager dictating how much people pay? That's not on.

That's a ridiculous amount of money for individuals to put in - will the person getting married be expecting a present worth almost £300 from a small team? In any event, people should put in what they want/can afford, or buy an individual gift . It's just ridiculous if it's causing hardship - who would want to think their wedding present had put people in that position.
Presumably your boss can easily afford it?

That seems very excessive and unreasonable to expect you to pay it. They can suggest an amount but not insist any donation should be voluntary. I'd say give what you can (if any) and say sorry but this is what I can afford.

I would say that I couldn't afford it and will give a donation that I chose. If they're not happy with the donation then take the money back and get a small present from yourself (photo frame, personalised candle etc)

That's insane! In my office we put in 1 or 2 quid each and that's not dictated.

£35 is more than I spend on my mum's birthday present so I would not entertain paying this much.

Since when did collections dictate how much you put in?
This

I hope you strapped on your big girl pants and told the boss what for!

Fuck me! £35 for a colleagues wedding?

That is like, more than I would spend on a birthday gift for a mate.

Chuck in £5 max. Say ti is all you are comfortable with and if they don't eant it you'll do your own card/pressie.

DO NOT DO IT. Buy your own gift, or put in what you can afford.

I hope you held firm and said No, OP.

You don't have to explain. Just say No.

PLEASE tell me you got a backbone today. That is absolute bullshit. 'It's £35, remember?' 'It's a voluntary collection. I do not have £35 to give. I'll buy my own present/card.' And give FA. Anymore 'collections', opt out.

What the...... ? No way, I don't think I spent that on my husband's birthday let alone an acquaintances wedding. £5 if anything would suffice.

Bloody hell , they can't tell you how to spend your wages
I'd only put in a fiver , tops

The envelope used to go around and people put in whatever, usually paper money. There was a suggestion but what you put in was up to you. Ironically the guy earning the most used to put in the least!