Sleeping in living room so my children have a room each

[4267sparkles]

I have 2 children boy age 9 (10 in may and a girl age 7. We live in a private rented 2 bed house where the kids share the larger double room. They have bunk beds and there chest of drawers,couple of shelving units with there toys etc on..its a decent size room for them to share at this age. However I want to move to an area where the kids will be in the catchment for the high school they are to go to but the rent for 3 bed houses in that area are out of my budget,its just me and the kids at home.
I went to view a house last night in the area I want to be in but the house,(well bedrooms) is smaller than we are currently in.
AIBU to consider moving so the kids can go to the high school we want and for me to give up a bedroom to be able to give them there own room? They could share but it would be a bit of a push and in the next couple of years they will want there own space.

Another point that I considered is that I have shared custody with my ex so I have the kids 3 nights mid week and alternate weekends. When they are with there dad I could sleep in my daughters bed...or would that not be right?

I just want to see if anyone else has been in this situation

My aunt and uncle did this (they had 4 kids in a 3 bed house) fortunately the two youngest girls were very close and actually liked sharing but the teenagers (boy and girl) needed their own room so the parents slept on a sofa bed downstairs. They had to be very organised but they managed fine for years until the elder two moved out to uni.

I think this is very common nowadays

I think you sound like a wonderful mother who pits the needs of her children first.

My friend does this. It's not exactly ideal but she makes it work. As pp said you have to be mega organised but she has all her 'bedroom stuff in a particular chest of drawers and a wardrobe in one of the bedrooms. It's meant she was able to move to a much nicer area and her DCs are in catchment for the school she wants. Good luck op, you can make it work.

I think that's fine. When I move from private rented to (finally) buying somewhere it will probably be a 1 bed with me in the living room. Housing is not as straightforward as it used to be.

Oh but make sure you have a proper comfortable sofa bed and don't end up sleeping on some ropey sofa or you'll do your back no good.

I would first look at the possibly of splitting one of the bedrooms with a temporary wall. I think you're right that they are going to need their own space, but ideally they should see that you do too. Modeling a good living situation for them if you can. It's important to meet kids' needs, but some of their wants (like a larger space) can take a back seat to your needs sometimes.

If that's not possible though, your plan sounds good.

I think it could definitely be doable, the only thing I can forsee being a potential problem would be clothes storage. Technically I could do this in the house I live in now but I'd have no idea where I'd hang/fold my clothes up.

I personally would need a clear distinction between the room as a bedroom and as a living room, rather than it always being the living room and I just kip on the sofa. A really comfy sofa bed would be essential.

Sounds a good plan op. but what if they want friends around, in the future, sleep overs, will that be in your bedroom/sitting room?
do you really have to move for a good catchment area?
can they not do well in the current area?

My MIL did this. Think more typical in lone parent households then acknowledged. Suspect a school that children happy to attend more important than sleeping arrangements. I think it worked for MIL because there were very fixed bedtimes to provide some privacy. Maybe a house with a kitchen diner?

OP you sound amazing. Just make sure you invest in a really really good sofa bed xx

Yes, definitely. i think they are a little old to be sharing now x

One thing to factor: schools go in cycles. What is outstanding today may very well be 'needs improvement' in the next Ofsted. Your daughter is 7, so that's 4 years until transition, with a further 5 years at that school with a possible further 2-3 unless she transfers to a different 6th form?

Will this school remain where you want it to be over the next 11 years?

I do this exact thing but for different reasons. When my relationship ended and the family home was sold I could only afford a 2 bed. 2 of my 3 grown up children were not in a position financially to move out and I love having them around, so gave each of them a bedroom and I have the lounge as a combi bedroom living room, works fine and not forever, good luck Op but it can be done

It's a little pricey, but you could look at getting a wall bed that folds up into a cabinet- it'll help make the space seem more like a bedroom in the evening and keep it as a living room the rest of the time.

Schools don't have catchment areas as such. Some have admissions criteria relating to distance from the school, but you therefore need to be aware that even if you move to the local area there is no guarantee you will get a place unless, perhaps, you're right next door. Bear that factor in mind.

It sounds like it would work really well. I'd make sure you have storage in your dd's room so it feels homely when you sleep there.

DH and I have slept on sofa bed in our living room for five years now, since our DDs were 12, 11 and 2, in order to give all three their own bedroom. We had no real opportunity to extend or convert, nor to split a bedroom. It's worked out fine for us, no regrets here.

What is attracting you to the other schools? I moved to get ds1 into a high school with good results & a good (although not recent) Ofsted report, but they didn't bother with ds at all; they were interested in the high performing students and the disruptive students. It was also an area where a lot of parents could afford private tuition. Ds didn't get the 5 A-Cs that he needed for his 6th form place. We talked our way into a place the day before school started at an academy (formerly a failing school) and it was so much better for him; i was shocked at how interested his teachers were. They really cajoled him in to getting homework done & coursework in; they were brilliant.
Do you know many parents with older children that have been through the schools?

Children having their own room is a fairly recent phenomenon and to be honest whilst it might be nice it really is not necessary.

I wold look at ways of dividing the bedroom to give the impression of two rooms. Watch some youtube videos on tiny houses or van life etc to give you some inspiration. They will also show you how easy it is to have your bedroom and living room as one if you do choose to go down this route.

But I would also seriously consider whether moving just for a school is actually worth all this. There is often very little real difference between schools deemed outstanding and those that are not and as others have mentioned you are looking at a 10 year period - schools can change immensely in that time.

My friend bless her the most selfless woman I've ever met has done this for about 15 yrs....she has 3 bedrooms a child in each room.her and her husband sleep in the lounge on a pull out bed..I would do the same if I had to..possessions don't mean as much when you are older ,so she just has a few clothes in her daughters room...the main thing is don't get in to money problems by taking out a higher rent than you can afford

I do this and have done for 18 months. I have a DS 10 with ASD and DD 6. I told them while we were homeless for a year that they could have their own bedrooms when we finally got somewhere.

We now have a very small flat. They have their own room each and I have a bed in the lounge. It works really well for us. My only concern now is that when he goes to secondary school he might have friends around which may require a rethink.

But it can absolutely work.

I shared a 1-bed flat in France with a male friend and I slept in the lounge on a clic-clac style bed. Much less faff than an ordinary sofa bed. It was comfortable and we just got used to it. Not easy to have a lie-in, but that was the only drawback. If I were you OP, I would do the same. Good luck.

We do this. In fact our living room is also our bedroom, office and dining room. Luckily the room is really big. The key I think is a comfy sofa bed (we have the friheten from Ikea with a thick memory foam topper) and lots and lots of clever storage.

Ds's room is the biggest with wall to ceiling built in wardrobes the whole length of one wall and all of the family's clothes go in there. I won't lie, it would be nice sometimes to have a bedroom I could hide in retreat to but we can't afford a bigger house and the kids need separate rooms. Needs must and all that.

*floor to ceiling wardrobes