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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sleeping in living room so my children have a room each

90 replies

4267sparkles · 03/03/2017 06:56

I have 2 children boy age 9 (10 in may and a girl age 7. We live in a private rented 2 bed house where the kids share the larger double room. They have bunk beds and there chest of drawers,couple of shelving units with there toys etc on..its a decent size room for them to share at this age. However I want to move to an area where the kids will be in the catchment for the high school they are to go to but the rent for 3 bed houses in that area are out of my budget,its just me and the kids at home.
I went to view a house last night in the area I want to be in but the house,(well bedrooms) is smaller than we are currently in.
AIBU to consider moving so the kids can go to the high school we want and for me to give up a bedroom to be able to give them there own room? They could share but it would be a bit of a push and in the next couple of years they will want there own space.

Another point that I considered is that I have shared custody with my ex so I have the kids 3 nights mid week and alternate weekends. When they are with there dad I could sleep in my daughters bed...or would that not be right?

I just want to see if anyone else has been in this situation

OP posts:

FrenchLavender · 03/03/2017 07:56

I think it's perfectly doable and a good idea. They are of an age where they should have separate rooms in an ideal world and as you say, you can sleep in your DDs bed when you need to.

As your DD is still quite little another solution would be for you to put bunk beds in the larger of the two bedrooms and for you to share with her?

Would there be space for the sort of bunk which has a double bed at the bottom and a single on the top?

Vegansnake · 03/03/2017 07:56

Also I've 4 kids who all went to different schools,different situations ,difficulties,personalities,no one school would of met all their needs...be really sure before you move...my friend has a child at the same school as my son..both sitting exams this yr...mine is predicted all top grades ,her child may not scrape through..guess who got the input and attention and extra classes...this is an ofstead rated outstanding school..I thought it was really unfair they concentrate on the high achievers..

McPie · 03/03/2017 07:57

We have been doing this for the last week and will be for many years to come as Ds1 is 15, 16 in may, and Dtwins are 10 and have been sharing the big front room since twins were months old. We rigged up a ceiling track and blackout curtains from Ikea for Ds1 to give him an area of his own but he sits his Nat5's in may and needs quiet to revise and moving is not an option for us as we cannot afford it.
My inlaws helped us out and paid for a sofa bed from Willow and Hall for us and we will be paying them back each week. They had everyday sleepers and a choice of mattress where as other well known retailers wouldn't recommend their sofa beds for any more than occasional use when we asked.
If you are going for it really look into what's available out there as you will be sleeping on it for years and it's not worth skimping on!

Screwinthetuna · 03/03/2017 07:59

That's a very kind thing to do. If you do decide to do that, I suggest getting a proper mattress that you store under one of your children's beds in the day time. That way, you don't wreck your sofa (or your back). I would also continue looking for a cheaper place and perhaps look where I could cut back to afford it

PhilODox · 03/03/2017 08:09

I think it's perfectly doable with good organisation- just try and get a house that has only one door to the room you're going to sleep in, so that you'll not be disturbed by people needing g to pass through (don't know where you are or housing available, but in my area, lots of terraces that have sitting room with no hall, straight to front door, which will be bloody cold, but the back room has 3 doors off it- to kitchen, sitting room, and stairs, which is then difficult if people need to use the kitchen or leave the house when you're sleeping, eg to go to school).

Yoksha · 03/03/2017 08:09

My mum & dad managed this successfully in a 2 bed council flat. At the end of the day it's how you manage your expectations. Don't compare yourself with what others have got.

Fastforward to us getting married yada, yada, yada. 2 girls. We insisted they have their own rooms. Moved into a huge house on 3 floors. They've now left home, married etc. Dh & I rattling around in a huge family home. I'd downsize tomorrow, but Dh has become attached to the house.

CharlieDimmocksbosoms · 03/03/2017 08:26

My DH and I did this. We had a 3 bed house and I have 2 boys and a girl. My 2 SS s moved in with us and we gave them our room and had a pull out sofa bed and converted under stairs cupboard into a wardrobe with drawers. It worked well. Luckily we had a downstairs loo too which was useful. During the day you would never have known and in the evening we could snuggle in bed and have the telly on. It was fine. Go for it.

ohtheholidays · 03/03/2017 08:29

It is doable we had to do it for a good few years.

We bought a decent blow up bed,if you have a look there's loads on the market now.We bought one that had an electric pump with it that could inflate or deflate the bed in under 3 minutes and it was high of the ground(nothing like the one's people use for camping)it was so much more comfortable than a sofa bed (I used a sofa bed in my early 20's and after a few weeks it did my back in and it was an expensive one)and alot cheaper and no one is sitting on your bed in the day unlike a sofa bed when it's used as a sofa.

You could put it up at night once your DC are going to bed(it takes all of 5minutes to set up and put the bedding on)and then take it down just before your DC get up in the morning(again another 5 minutes)we kept ours in a large storage box upstairs and we had a wardrobe with drawers in one of the bedrooms and my jewellry boxes and make up boxes lived in the bottom of my wardrobe.

It was fine,it worked for us the bed was nice and comfortable(and I'm disabled) and we were able to give our DC some extra room.

londonrach · 03/03/2017 08:34

Id split the biggest room with furniture.

LeoTimmyandVi · 03/03/2017 09:46

I am a lone parent to 2 children - 11 year old girl and 10 yr old boy. I moved for school secondary school catchment too last year and could only afford 2 bedrooms. I was lucky by chance to find a 2 bed Victorian terrace with 2 reception rooms downstairs so I sleep downstairs. However, had I not found it I would not have hesitated to get a 2 bed and slept downstairs. I would have saved, begged and borrowed to get a decent sofa bed and one that could hold the duvet and pillows underneath just to make it easier in the evenings.

dustarr73 · 03/03/2017 09:57

We do this,we have 5 boys.2 eldest have front room,3 youngest have back bedroom.And me and dp sleep downstairs.We have a bed in the front room.Luckily the kitchen is not a bad size so we have split it.

Its doable.
But could you share with your dd,see if that works out for you.Maybe split teh bigger room between you and dd.

beingorange · 03/03/2017 09:58

I think it would work ok with one caveat. As your children become teenagers make sure you find way show that you are important, have needs and priorities. Dont get into a situation where you are barely taking up room in your own home and everything is about them, as you really need them to take you seriously and listen to you.

EssentialHummus · 03/03/2017 09:58

As others have said, be very sure the school is worth moving for - where would they go if you stay where you are?

The housing setup sounds fine - just get a good sofa bed.

MiaowTheCat · 03/03/2017 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotSoSkinnyNow · 03/03/2017 10:17

Due to DP''s health issues, I have moved out of our bedroom and now share with DD (7). Luckily it is a good size, so she's got a high sleeper, and I made curtains to hang around it (the underneath part ) and that is her private space to chill out - complete with a bean bag and fairy lights.
It works well for us.

MsGameandWatch · 03/03/2017 10:17

Lone parent household here and I do this. My children both have additional needs and needed a bedroom each early on as they aggravate each other. I do have a great sofa bed and lovely bedding though pulling out and making it up every night is tiresome. It's fine though. I have a hamper for all my make up and toiletries and a chest of drawers in your hall for my clothes. I'm quite heartened to read of so many doing it, I never like to mention it in RL, people can be so judgmental.

MsGameandWatch · 03/03/2017 10:18

The hall not your hall obvs!

Talkietalk · 03/03/2017 12:03

Your idea is good but bare in mind you might still not get in. There are posters here you are practically next door to the school and still have to travel away to another

Itwasthenandstillis · 03/03/2017 12:17

We were 6 kids with my mum in a 3 bed house for several years. My mum shared with one of my sisters. You could have a bunk bed type thing like Notsoskinnynow suggested so that you have your own bed at least for when the kids are away.

sparkli · 03/03/2017 13:01

We have 6 kids and 3 bedrooms. We did consider doing this, but I have chronic illnesses that mean I sometimes can't get out of bed, and need my own room. We have 4 DD 17, 16, 13, 11 in a v large bedroom (2 sets of bunks), and 2 DS 15, 10 in the other room. All the kids are used to it and say, even if we moved, they would want to share with at least one sibling!

There seems to be some sort of modern myth that kids sharing rooms is the most terrible thing ever

hazelnutlatte · 03/03/2017 13:06

My friend does this, although she has pretty much turned the living room into her bedroom, as she has a conservatory at the back of her kitchen so that has become the living room. Could you find a house with a kitchen extension or conservatory so that you could take over the living room and make into more of a 'proper' bedroom?
I guess it might be a bit difficult finding a two bed with this layout (friend has a 3 bed and 3 kids)

wetcardboard · 03/03/2017 13:16

It really is a sign of the times that so many people do this or have considered doing this. The housing market is just insane.

scottishdiem · 03/03/2017 13:27

Its very doable provided you invest in a very good sofa bed. That will make the world of difference in the longer run.

Eliza9917 · 03/03/2017 13:35

It really is a sign of the times that so many people do this or have considered doing this. The housing market is just insane.

Some of it isn't just about the housing market though, some people are doing it so each child can have their own room. If the same sex and no other behavior issues etc there is no reason why those can't share i.e. 3 bed house, 1 girl, 2 boys each with their own room and parent/s on a sofa in the living room. That's madness in my opinion.

liz70 · 03/03/2017 13:50

"That's madness in my opinion."

It may be madness to you, but you're not living my life, with my daughters. DH and I opted to move downstairs when relations between our DDs 1 and 2, who had shared a bedroom all their lives, became increasingly fractious as they approached their teens. Giving all three of our DDs a room each gave us all more peace. Our sofa bed takes only a couple of minutes to set up or put away. It suits us, which is all that matters to us.

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