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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would bunk beds for a parent and child be absolutely ridiculous?

230 replies

Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 10:30

Trying to work out logistics of having a baby/child in a flat with only one bedroom. There's a lounge, bathroom, TINY kitchen and bedroom. None of the rooms are large.

I was thinking of maybe having bunk beds in the bedroom but is this just stupid ... ?

OP posts:

skerrywind · 02/03/2017 20:37

OP people are simply suggesting that you may have more options than you realise.

Although none of our business you have actually divulged a great deal about your situation and finances, so is it any wonder that some of us are making suggestions along those lines.

Original poster

Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 20:38

Yes you think it's helpful. It's not, though!

OP posts:

Rinceoir · 02/03/2017 20:38

We live in a small 2 bed house, have visitors regularly so DH, DD and I share a room presently. It's fine. She climbs into bed with us most nights anyway. We keep "stuff" to a minimum and manage fine. Small children don't need much space.

captaincake · 02/03/2017 20:48

Can't see any reason why not. I have something like this in DS's room as due to a medical issue he wakes very often throughout the night and needs someone there. Maybe something like that would be better in the preschool years before a proper bunkbed?

Original poster

Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 21:02

Love that!!

OP posts:

Poirotspen · 02/03/2017 21:04

Pinterest has got some good ideas. You could have something more sturdy and like a little mezzanine with single bed above a double. uk.pinterest.com/pin/25543922864515985/
Sort of thing.

Bigbiscuits · 02/03/2017 21:06

If you are planning to stay there for 5 years, then I would just co sleep and share a double.

jeaux90 · 02/03/2017 21:09

Yep just co-sleep.

I'm a single professional mum too and I co-slept because them you optimise your sleep (trust me on this )

krakentoast · 02/03/2017 21:46

Can't believe the judgement you've been getting on here OP just for doing some thoughtful planning. Just to balance it out, I don't think there's anything strange at all about your circumstances or your request for advice and you seem to be very realistic about things.

Answer seems pretty simple as you have said you'd move when the child is 3/4. So: have a bed for you, and a cot/cotbed for the baby, both in the bedroom. Sort out full-time childcare, which you can easily afford, and everyone's cosy and happy. Sounds like a loving and perfectly comfy arrangement to me.

I know lots of people who've had babies at 37 and older. Good luck whatever you decide. Your baby will be very lucky to have you for a mum.

KittyConCarne · 02/03/2017 21:56

I think your plans to stay in a 1bed until DC is 3/4 sound just fine- cot & your bed, then either toddler bed & your bed, or a trundle bed under your bed (room would only be cramped whilst sleeping), or co-sleep in your bed (I used to get woken by cat pre-DC too, but actually now love co-sleeping with DC ironically).

I probably wouldn't go for bunks beds personally as I'd find it too squeaky & therefore easy to wake child by climbing in top bunk late at night/ I'd worry that my small DC would attempt to climb up to be with me whilst I was asleep/ I'd find it tiresome to keep getting down from top bunk to comfort nightmares or fetch drinks or do toilet runs or cope with child's sickness.

I think it's admirable that you are thoroughly contemplating your options and ideas before embarking on your route. Good luck and I hope it works out for you

BettyBaggins · 02/03/2017 22:14

I co-slept with my DD for a couple of years and then had a sofa bed in the front room for me until we got a larger place.

She still shares a bed with me when she comes to stay if the house is full and it's lovely. (She's over 25 now how the feckery did that happen! )

GraceGrape · 02/03/2017 22:24

I would leave deciding on the sleeping situation until any child were a bit older. I actually co-sleep quite happily with my 4 year old most nights, which is not a situation I would have anticipated while pregnant!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/03/2017 22:28

I think you might start with a cot then a mini toddler bed and see how it develops- one thing about having children that you discover is that it never works out in the way you imagine, (but not in a bad way). Sure it's nice to have a separate room but in reality many people in many parts of the world live as a family in one room, so a one-bedroom flat is twice as big as that. (And It's less of a problem imho as a single parent than as a couple with a child)
All the best OP

Original poster

Woulditbesilly · 03/03/2017 08:29

Thanks! Loads to think about but some great suggestions.

OP posts:

LillianGish · 03/03/2017 08:33

I would go for the loft bed option then you can have a cot and eventually a single bed underneath. I'd also get a sofa bed in the living room so you have to option of sleeping in separate room if you want to occasionally. I live in Paris where lots of people live in tiny spaces - even in studios - with kids. THIS company has some brilliant solutions for making your space work for you. Not cheap, but much cheaper than a second bedroom! I also think it's perfectly reasonable to think about the logistics ahead of time.

Andcake · 03/03/2017 10:00

I was going to suggest the imea pull out trundle bed - but tbh I know a lot of people who are in big houses and go sleep with 5 year olds ( we did til 3).

Good luck

Temporaryanonymity · 03/03/2017 10:15

I would just plan on paying child care costs and not plan too much about sleeping arrangements. I have one son for whom co-sleeping didnt work. The younger one stayed in my bed until be was around 6, he still creeps in fairly often. You will know the best option when baby comes.

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 03/03/2017 10:16

Skerrywind... are you my mil per chance?

Backingvocals · 03/03/2017 10:36

Just wanted to add, the fact that your cat wakes you up doesn't mean you won't end up co-sleeping so I wouldn't overthink it on the beds situation for now. With small children, so many of your nights are disturbed for one reason or another, it hardly matters where you sleep!

I would assume cot in bedroom then co-sleeping. You can tackle a separate arrangement with bunkbeds etc if that really doesn't work. I am not an advocate of co-sleeping for any attachment parenting reasons but the reality is, you end up with a child in your bed a lot in the early years so you end up there anyway.

Emmageddon · 03/03/2017 10:53

I love that mezzanine idea that @Poirotspen has posted - it looks great and gives the person underneath privacy, especially if you rigged up a curtain across the lower bed.

Well, obviously not absolute privacy - but as others have said, in this situation, you shag on the sofa when the little 'un is asleep, should you be in a relationship with someone in the future

Proudmummytodc2 · 03/03/2017 10:58

I haven't RTFT so sorry if this has already been suggested.

My friend when we were at secondary school stayed in a 2 bedroom house with her mum dad and Gran.

My friend got her own room, the Gran got her own room and her mum and dad had a sofa bed in the living room.

Her mum and dad put their clothes in the wardrobes in my friends room and just pulled sofa out at night.

To be honest I never even noticed it only had 2 bedrooms until she told me.

You could possible do the same if you were interested in a sofa bed.

DianaMemorialJam · 03/03/2017 11:05

Opal glad you said something.

Vandree · 03/03/2017 12:12

OP, bunk beds and sharing a room are not a ridiculous idea at all! Most families have to find solutions to work for them. My sister had her dd in her room until she was 5 and then moved her into a small cloak room they remodelled after that. Its tiny but perfectly formed. When they shared she had her bed in the bay window and it was painted pink with lovely drapes and lights from ikea. It was fabulous. My ds stayed in our bed until he was two and into a toddler bed in our room for a good long while as I couldn't bear for him to be in another room ( :) ) .

Im 36 and hoping to try for another child soon. Not too old, I dont feel it anyway. You dont need to justify how or why you are having a child. You are on a good wage and own your own home. Families come in all shapes and sizes. My dn was homeless with her mother and infant brother for 6 months last year and they lived in a tiny hotel room with one bed and no where to do homework, make food, play or get some privacy. It was in a rough part of the city with only fast food places and arcades to visit outside the hotel where they couldn't leave the room after 9pm. Your apartment sounds like a palace in comparison and I know my dn and her family would have loved to have had the same set up.

dowhatnow · 03/03/2017 12:13

lillian Wow that french company has some great ideas. I love the bed being raised to the ceiling idea and the storage stairs are fab in the mezzanine beds.

BoffinMum · 03/03/2017 12:29

What would happen if you didn't have beds but instead had Japanese-style sleeping mats that you put away during the daytime?

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