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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would bunk beds for a parent and child be absolutely ridiculous?

230 replies

Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 10:30

Trying to work out logistics of having a baby/child in a flat with only one bedroom. There's a lounge, bathroom, TINY kitchen and bedroom. None of the rooms are large.

I was thinking of maybe having bunk beds in the bedroom but is this just stupid ... ?

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 02/03/2017 16:30

No! I was replying to your earlier post.

AndNowItsSeven · 02/03/2017 16:31

Sorry x post

littlefrog3 · 02/03/2017 16:31

Yeah there are a bunch of judgy folk on here. I mean how DARE a woman have a bairn on her own by choice; how mucky and rancid! #joke

WhereDoesTHisRadioGo well going only by you post here, its your snooty, judgmental, My way is RIGHT and you are WRONG, self centred attitude, not to mention the massive carbon footprint of your "essential" big house, and the stupidity in your thinking that a big house is a prerequisite for a good lifestyle.

Agree with this. I know several people who equate a big house with success. I have a smallish house, and always have had, and I know several people (with 4 and 5 bed detached,) who have said 'haven't you ever wanted a bigger house?' And my favourite one 'I think some caravans have more room than this.' No thanks. I would rather be mortgage free and have my wee little poky caravan sized home than have a £200K mortgage.

One woman I know claims everyone is soooooooooo jealous of her BIG house, and the en suite in the master bedroom and the conservatory. No love, no-one is. Be quiet. Behave. We're not all obsessed with material goods!

As for the OP; yes you should be OK sharing for several years. Not long term as the child will need a room to themselves by about 5 y.o. (IMO.)

Good luck to you, whatever you do. And I hope you and your wee bairn will be happy. Smile

AndNowItsSeven · 02/03/2017 16:32

40k and no mortgage is great though. I wouldn't move till your future child is 8/9 and I would sleep in front room from age 5.

Kiroro · 02/03/2017 16:36

If you cant afford to give a child it's own proper bed then you cant afford a child.

Loads of people have a 2nd or 3rd child with the expectation that that child will share wiht a sibling. I don't see it different to share with a parent.

Loads of good solutions OP.

Bed + cot when a baby, then singe adult bed+todler bed in same room.
Bunk beds (you only need a single if no DP).
Share a double in the bedroom for the early years.
Then you move into the sitting room on a decent sofa bed and child has a single bed in the bedroom and all your wardrobes etc live in there.

Loads of families live in much more cramped conditions e.g. in tokyo.

Kiroro · 02/03/2017 16:36

40k and no mortgage is great though. I wouldn't move till your future child is 8/9 and I would sleep in front room from age 5.

100%

PortiaCastis · 02/03/2017 16:40

A big house isn't a success until it's paid for.

Loopytiles · 02/03/2017 16:42

Sharing would be fine for a good while, then you could sleep in living room.

trulybadlydeeply · 02/03/2017 16:56

The OP owns her own home, and earns a very decent salary - she's in a very good position I would say, and I don't understand the negative, critical element here, particularly the comment about not being able to give the child their own bed - the child can have their own bed and their own room, and the lounge can have a decent sofa bed and give the OP a nice separate space for evening and night. I assume on the salary given, plus being mortgage-free, there will reasonable amounts of money for furniture and storage to make this work really well.

When on earth did being a good parent = at least a two bedroom home??

Backingvocals · 02/03/2017 16:59

Single mother by choice here.

I would not have had a problem with sharing with my child. I was lucky enough to have a two bed flat so never an issue but since the baby is in your bedroom initially anyway and loads of people choose to co-sleep anyway, I can't really see the issue. I can imagine it might make it slightly harder to encourage the child to use their own bedroom when they get one eventually but this is something that many parents face anyway.

A friend of mine and her brother were brought up in a one bed flat - perfectly normal. It seems to me the OP is thinking ahead and working out what will be achievable as a single parent which is great.

PoptartPoptart · 02/03/2017 17:04

Cot alongside bed in main bedroom when a baby. When baby gets older give the bedroom to the child. Have a sofa bed in the front room for the adults.

PoptartPoptart · 02/03/2017 17:05

Meant to say, it's not ideal but it's worked for a friend of mine.

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 17:09

I'd definitely be moving when DC was between 3 and 4. But maternity leave and then childcare are so expensive I'd want to be mortgage free during that period.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 02/03/2017 17:11

We had two adults and two kids in a 2-bed flat with one double bedroom and one single bedroom when we first got married. The world didn't end.

BoffinMum · 02/03/2017 17:12

BTW we were in central London, had a lovely garden, plenty of storage space and a free car parking space outside, plus one of the best primary schools for miles round the corner, and a park at the end of the street, so there were advantages to the compromise.

Xmasbaby11 · 02/03/2017 17:17

Personally it would drive me mad living in such a small space with a young child, but others must be more tolerant than me!

ScrapThatThen · 02/03/2017 17:19

I think it would work out just fine. Its other halves that take up space more than children. I could probably happily live in a one bedroom flat with my two dds if required. And they're big.

DevelopingDetritus · 02/03/2017 17:26

I haven't read the whole thread but if this were me I'd give the child the bedroom and I'd have the best sofa bed I could afford in the living room.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 02/03/2017 17:52

In theory the plan is fine. Absolutely nothing wrong with sharing the room for as long as is necessary.
As an aside, you mentioned that you were too old to find a partner to have the baby with. Do you also intend to have fertility treatments to get pregnant? Both of these would increase your chance of multiples!

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 17:54

Would have to deal with that as and when.

OP posts:
chilledblain · 02/03/2017 18:26

Opal, au pairs can't be used for babies.

dowhatnow · 02/03/2017 18:41

It's doable one way or another.

I saw some giant lego bricks that you can use as room dividers. Brilliant idea. It even provided a door. Can you divide the larger room and make the lounge the smaller room?

Emmageddon · 02/03/2017 18:50

It's definitely doable - someone up thread mentioned static caravans. My cousin lives in one, with her DH and 3 DC, and the actual measurements of the place are probably smaller than the OP's 1 bed flat. But their static has 3 bedrooms, one double, I single, 2 with bunkbeds, plus they have a dining room/lounge/kitchen area all in one, and lots of outside space.

Not everyone needs a 4 bed detached house with conservatory and ensuite bathrooms to give a child a happy home.

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 02/03/2017 19:05

chilledblain I did not know that! Turns out I have a friend with quite questionable ethics! Blush

Out of interest, what age must the child be??

ThighBrows · 02/03/2017 19:19

There are childcare costs involved for all the school holidays and children get more and more expensive with every year-obvious stuff like extra heating and electricity costs, food, several pairs of shoes every few months, £80 hoodies, phones, hobbies, clubs, trips, driving lessons, uni costs. I don't think costs would decrease much once a kid starts school.