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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would bunk beds for a parent and child be absolutely ridiculous?

230 replies

Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 10:30

Trying to work out logistics of having a baby/child in a flat with only one bedroom. There's a lounge, bathroom, TINY kitchen and bedroom. None of the rooms are large.

I was thinking of maybe having bunk beds in the bedroom but is this just stupid ... ?

OP posts:
DianaMemorialJam · 02/03/2017 14:58

mini I was going to say that- she would love This thread!

ZogsAnon · 02/03/2017 15:03

Loving this thread and the ideas. We're in a small two bed with a toddler and two bed. Would love to stay here and make it work, always looking for inspiration from sites like pinterest and Apartment Therapy. Anyone know of any others (or fb groups?)

FloweringDeranger · 02/03/2017 15:08

I'm a bit surprised whereDoesThisRadioGo got. such a bad time, having children is a serious commitment and I think it's great that the op is having a good think about the pragmatics.

Sorry to put another fly in the ointment, op, but it's not just a matter of money. You get a good salary now. How easily will you be able to maintain that once you have a child? How much time off do you get, and how flexible are your employers to their personnel with child responsibilities? There is a thread on here now about the difficulty of getting family-friendly, flexible work.

Being a single mum really is very hard, my hat is off to all those who manage it and I wish it was less of a struggle for them.

kierenthecommunity · 02/03/2017 15:08

Just one consideration would be your plans about acquiring (for want of a better word!) this child. If it is through IVF/donor sperm then what you do is up to you. If it's through adoption SS will insist the child has its own room Smile

FloweringDeranger · 02/03/2017 15:10

WhereDoesThisRoadGo even. How much social support would you get op? Have you got interested would-be grandparents?

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 02/03/2017 15:16

My brother and his girlfriend live in a one bed static caravan, 28'x10'. They have a nearly-two year old little girl. She has a little bed in their room but sleeps in their bed every night

It's more than doable to have a baby in a one bedroom home but I am not sure that I would go for a bunk bed tbh.

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 15:23

I work school hours. I don't mean to be rude but I didn't start the thread about this and I can't afford mortgage plus childcare.

OP posts:
ArseyTussle · 02/03/2017 15:28

40k is a great wage, particularly if you're mortgage free!

Nothing to do with your bedroom issue, but childminders are cheaper than nursery, and for our DD a much better option.

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 15:29

Aye but it's still a tad more expensive doing anything alone than it is in a couple.

OP posts:
evilharpy · 02/03/2017 15:31

Have a look at the Apartment Therapy website. Lots of good ideas for how to organise small spaces and I've seen a few really decent looking murphy beds on there which might be a good alternative to a sofabed in the living room?

SheSparkles · 02/03/2017 15:33

You could always do it the old fashioned way and sort out housing BEFORE you have a baby...or maybe I'm out of touch...

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 15:34

If I did that I wouldn't be able to afford a baby :)

OP posts:
skerrywind · 02/03/2017 15:34

Op I would move if you possible can.

Living is a one bedroom flat with a child is not ideal.
Could you move to a cheaper area?

I would not liked to have had young kids with no garden, extra space is important for kids to let off steam.
When my youngest was a baby we moved out of the city, simply for more space.
As they grow they need even more space and accumulate stuff, and enjoy a part of their house that is their own to have their little friends over.
You need a space too that is free from little hands wanting to play with your stuff.

More space leads to a calmer family life in my experience.

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 15:35

My area is very cheap. No, I can't move :)

OP posts:
skerrywind · 02/03/2017 15:37

If your area is very cheap, you have equity and you earn £40K then why are you living in a small flat?

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 15:38

I don't mean to be rude but do you question everyone on why they live where they do? So I don't have a mortgage.

OP posts:
skerrywind · 02/03/2017 15:40

OP you came on here asking for views and advice. You have given quite a lot of information about your personal circumstances, people are trying to help and come up with ideas.

If you want to be so rude I'm outta here.

Have a nice life.

Original poster
Woulditbesilly · 02/03/2017 15:42

It's not advice acting like there's something peculiar in a single woman living in a one bed flat!

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 02/03/2017 15:44

I lived in a hostel with a child OP only one room but I managed. I thought I had it all nice house car etc etc but didn't foresee the bastard becoming a violent alcoholic. Anyhow The sofa bed is a good idea

chilledblain · 02/03/2017 15:47

Just because someone has asked for advice giving some personal info, doesn't mean they are obliged to explain their whole life.

I often thought the second bedroom was a complete waste when my older child was a baby. However, they quickly grow, so I would have a plan for a 2 bed by about 4 or 5.

I don't know if the person suggesting an au pair was being sarcastic? I hope so!

Lweji · 02/03/2017 15:48

It depends on lots of things.

Let's assume you won't have a partner.
Will you get pregnant or adopt? If adopt, at what age?

Is your small flat already cheap? Could you trade off for a larger place in a not so nice area?

Worst case, you could have a futon or sofa bed in the living room.
There are double size bunk beds. DS has that white one from Ikea, but you do need high ceilings. Really high. And it's really hard to change unless you're at least 6 foot. Unlike me. Angry

Anyway, as a couple we had DS in our bedroom until he was 3 and it worked fine.
We then bought a new larger place that needed some decorating, so cheaper.

I don't think the small flat should be a problem. You can make it work. Children, most of all, need a loving parent.

chilledblain · 02/03/2017 15:50

For adoption, the child must have their own room.

Lweji · 02/03/2017 15:50

Sorry for the cross post. I see that you can't move now, so ignore it.

Bloopbleep · 02/03/2017 15:51

I shared a bunk bed with my mum in my teens. We had no choice and it was only for sleeping. I don't see the problem if needs must

Notso · 02/03/2017 15:56

Grin minipie