I've moved in with my partner and he won't put me on his tenancy agreement.

[Bosschopsbitch]

We would have over in together eventually but circumstances kind of pushed it to happen now. And because of that there have been things that we hadnt really ironed out. I'm on universal credit (aforementioned circumstances) and he works full time but in order for me to still claim and get CTC for my son it's had to be changed to a joint claim (I dont understand tbh) but the advisor said if I wanted to claim the housing element thend I would have to be added to the tenancy. With a resolute 'no she isn't going on the tenancy' that was the end of that. He won't disuss it. He won't reconsider. Absolutely steadfast and will not budge. AIBU to be pissed off/angry/shocked/uoset/all of the above?

The only slight caveat I would give is some landlords can be very funny about benefits and people on them beige on the tenancy

Before we go down the evil landlord route, sometimes they don't have a choice. It's a condition of my buy-to-let mortgage that I don't let to people in receipt of housing benefit. I'd be happy to, but I would be in breach of my mortgage conditions.

It sounds like you're being set up to be in a very precarious and unequal situation OP, although like TheOnlyLiving I can see both sides. The bigger question is why, after 3.5 years, he sees the relationship as so impermanent.

Could you see if there was a way to sign a clause or contract whereby stating that if you were to split you would give up the tenancy to him? I can see both sides and I can't think of another solution.

In his position I would do the same. If you split up then you would likely retain the tenancy and he would be homeless. This should really have been sorted out before you moved in. People do have to look after their own interests. So it's harsh on you but I don't blame him.

We can have a joint claim but cannot get the housing element as I am the unemployed one and my name isn't on the agreement therefore not applicable.

He has a point but if he's not confident enough in the relationship to take that chance I think you've set up home together prematurely. If he's not prepared to fully commit should you and your child really be living with him?

Run and don't look back as it's not going to help you or your child

OP...this is interesting...from the CAB

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/relationship-problems/relationship-breakdown-and-housing/common-issues-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/relationship-breakdown-and-housing-can-you-make-your-partner-leave/

People who are married or in a civil partnership can't make their spouse or civil partner leave the family home if the relationship breaks down. This is the case regardless of whether both of you, or only one of you, own or rent your home.

If you own or rent your home together, you both have rights as joint owners or joint tenants.

If the home is owned or rented by only one spouse or civil partner, the other person has 'home rights' which protect their interest in the family home, at least in the short-term.

Spouses and civil partners have a legal right to stay in the family home and neither of you can exclude the other unless a court has ordered it.

If your spouse or civil partner makes you leave, you can go to court for an order to allow you to return.

If one of you wants the other one to leave, at least in the short-term, you'll have to reach an agreement between yourselves.

AND

You may be able to get a temporary right to stay in the home by applying to the court for an occupation order. This may also give you time to establish if you're able to stay in the home in the long-term.

If your partner owns the home, you may be able to stay in the longer term if you have an interest in the property. For example, if you've made a financial contribution to it, or if you agreed previously with your partner that you'd have a financial stake in it.

If your partner rents the home, you may be able to get the court to transfer the tenancy to you or your child if it's in their best interests.

Bosschopsbitch People confuse tenancy with occupany a LOT. The tenancy is a contract between you and your landlord. It's signed on a specific day and cannot be altered, that is it. If you want someone to become a joint tenant with you (or you with them) that person has to end their tenancy and sign a new contract with the partner. Lots of councils/ha are very reluctant to do this as it is time consuming and in a lot of cases unnecessary and makes it more difficult when you split. Being on an occupancy is just registering where you live as your primary home. Councils/HA will still take you on and house you, you can still make claims and you can leave when you want. You also cannot just be kicked out. Benefit claims cannot force you to have a joint tenancy.

So you've moved in with unexpectedly, he's happy to have you their and not pay rent, but you think its ok to bully him into doing something that could be detrimental to him, just because you want it?

Again, if it was the other way around, would you do it?

I'm assuming you would be happy to contribute towards the rent if you were on the tenancy?

Living they're in a relationship and she has a child. Her FIRST duty is towards that child.

Which includes a modicum of housing security.

Jonesy
Good idea to look at the CAB website but you're looking at the wrong page! Most of what you've quoted refers to spouses and civil partners but the OP isn't married to her partner. The rules are different for unmarried couples who live together. Basically if the tenancy is in his name only, she has no legal right to stay there. She would only have rights if they were joint tenants (or if they were married... which doesn't exactly sound like it's on the cards )

I agree with charlie above ^

I can see why you are a bit annoyed, (and please tell me you didn't give up a social housing property to move in with him!!!) but at the same time, I would not be happy with allowing my b/f of 3 years to come onto my tenancy, as if it doesn't work out, I couldn't get rid of him.

I have a pal who has her own little bungalow, and it's housing association. She met a chap last year who she had 10 dates with (in 6 weeks,) although she had known him 6 months (he was a work colleague from another department.)

He wanted to come live with her and go on the tenancy after only 6 weeks together! She said no, and he said 'I will finish with you then as you obviously have no trust in our relationship.' she said 'see ya.'

Sorry, I digress...

Ask him when he will be happy for you to go on the tenancy. Maybe he wants to be sure you will be OK living together for half a year or so. I honestly can't blame him. Take no notice of the usual LTB type comments. There would be no couples together - ever - if people listened to some of the comments on mumsnet!

All that said, if it's a private tenancy, I wouldn't care, as he can be thrown out anyway.

Any special reason why you are desperate to go on the tenancy?

Or are you just angry that he doesn't feel your relationship is solid enough to put you on it (iyswim?)

Emma no. It has sections...there is a section for those who live with their "partner" and that's not the same section as that of civil partners and spouses.

This is the relevant info
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/relationship-problems/relationship-breakdown-and-housing/if-you-live-with-your-partner-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/if-you-live-with-your-partner-and-you-rent-your-home-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/relationship-breakdown-and-housing-rights-if-your-partner-rents-the-home/

Frog OP has a child though. Not the same situation as some geezer trying to get his feet under the table of your mate is it?

I can see why he wont put you on as if you did split, as already said, you could keep the HA house and he would be out on his ear with slim chance of another one. If works full time I don't suppose you will be entitled to much in the way of benefits anyway. Could you perhaps discuss the issues with him and set a date, maybe a year from now, where you could become joint tenants. otherwise I would say that you should not have moved in with him as you are not a family and this is more important when on benefits as he needs to, financially at least, view your son and his son and you as his dependent other half. Is your son old enough for you to go back to work yet as that may change things?

I'm sorry OP, but I think you're so wrong headed. You didn't want to give up your independence and didn't want to move in with him. That's fair enough.

However when it goes tits up for you, he does allow you to move in but you're still not happy because now you want ever closer ties to him. Seems as though your treasured independence is now not so valuable.

Sorry I realise that you may actually be working already not sure about the nuances if universal credit.

Jonesy
But why did you give a load of irrelevant info about spouses and civil partners?

Living they're in a relationship and she has a child. Her FIRST duty is towards that child Which includes a modicum of housing security

Yes she has that duty. However they did not decide to move in together, he did not accept a duty to house her son, and she can't demand he give up his housing security in favour of her child just because he let her in in an emergency.

Emma No. As I mentioned already some of the link I posted has relevant info. Not ALL of the info on my link is relevant but this part is...it says PARTNER. Not spouse or civil partner.

If you live with your partner

You and your partner own or rent your home together

If you and your partner are both named on the register of title or the title deeds to your home, then you both legally own it.

If you and your partner are both named on the tenancy agreement, then you are joint tenants.

If you own or rent your home jointly with your partner, you both have rights as joint owners or joint tenants. This means that you both have a legal right to stay in the family home and neither of you can exclude the other unless a court has ordered it.

If your partner makes you leave, you can go to court for an order to allow you to return.

If one of you wants the other one to leave, at least in the short-term, you'll have to reach an agreement between yourselves.

More about your rights if you own your home jointly
More about your rights if you rent your home jointly
Your partner owns or rents the home

If you live with your partner and your name isn't on the register of title/title deeds or the tenancy agreement, you don't have an automatic right to stay in the home when your relationship comes to an end.

All that your partner must do if they want you to leave is to give you 'reasonable' notice. There aren't any legal rules about how long the notice must be to be reasonable, it will depend on the circumstances. If there has been violence or unreasonable behaviour, very short or immediate notice may be considered reasonable. The notice doesn't have to be in writing.

If your partner uses, or threatens to use, physical force to get you to leave, they are likely to be committing a criminal offence.

You may be able to get a temporary right to stay in the home by applying to the court for an occupation order. This may also give you time to establish if you're able to stay in the home in the long-term.

If your partner owns the home, you may be able to stay in the longer term if you have an interest in the property. For example, if you've made a financial contribution to it, or if you agreed previously with your partner that you'd have a financial stake in it.

If your partner rents the home, you may be able to get the court to transfer the tenancy to you or your child if it's in their best interests.

More about your rights if your partner owns the home
More about your rights if your partner rents the home

I'm talking about the contents of your actual post, not the contents of the link you shared (which does include relevant stuff)

No need to copy and paste it all!

You cannot just "go on" someone's tenancy, it doesn't work like that!!

OP you need to go to CAB and they will tell you what the benefits people are telling you is wrong and advise you of the way this works and what you need to say to your bf and what he needs to request from his HA. Or just phone the HA and ask yourself. They won't tell you specifics but they can advise you on your situation. Tell them benefits said you need to be "on" the tenancy agreement and they will give you the right answer straight away as will have heard this before.

The OP has a child, but he isn't her DP's- and at this stage of the game it can't reasonably be said that the DP should be expected to give up his home for the sake of the child in the event of a break-up.

Which is what would happen were he to add her to the tenancy now- and then after three months of arguing over who has to clean the bog, they break up.

He'd be a fool to add her straight away.