to not want to get a room?

[Splashingincuddles]

I have a 10-day-old DD and am EBF, as I did for 9 months with DS. I have so far been out and fed in public 3 times - a leisure centre, a hospital waiting room and a soft play. In two of these places I was asked if I was 'ok' or if I wanted to use a room. I get that people are trying to be kind and thoughtful but I'm comfortable feeding anywhere (and feel it's important to do so to normalise breastfeeding.) By asking me if I want a room more attention is drawn to the fact I'm feeding - people turned and looked today when previously they probably hadn't even noticed. I also need to actually be present to supervise my DS - it's no good squirrelling myself away alone in a private room when my 2 year old is running around a soft play centre!

AIBU to be happy to breastfeed in public without feeling that staff want me hidden away?

I was asked at work yesterday if there was someone private where a mum could BF - it was busy and she wanted her DS to be able to feed without him being distracted by everything around him. Some people are happy to BF in public, some have differing reasons for wanting to be somewhere quieter. Nice to have the choice though

I don't think people should offer. It comes across as pressuring, and as other people have pointed out, bottle-feeders do not get these kinds of offers.

I have no problems with feeding rooms existing (they can be helpful for babies that are very distractible, and in department stores/stations they are quite handy if you want to feed and don't want to have to pay for a tea or coffee). But there is no need to ask breastfeeders. Instead, just have a clear sign up notifying the existence of the room, and assume that people will ask if they want to use it.

I'm in the camp of feeling establishments like this are damned if they do or damned if they don't! I think it was good that they have it to offer. Particularly as like another poster upthread, with DD1, somewhere where she wasn't getting distracted was welcome. Little to nothing put DD2 off her dinner.

I remember being in a big John Lewis café once enjoying cake and coffee while DD2 fed with a muzzy over her (to catch crumbs as opposed to preserve modesty). There was another woman who I think was a first timer who went to use the feeding room and as she went past said she hoped she could do what I was doing one day. I assured her she could. The feeding room was part of a changing/loo area and was very dark with no windows. I was sitting on one of the comfy benches in the café, looking out the window while a very nice Partner (who had carried the aforementioned coffee and cake to the table) checked in a couple of times to check I was ok. I know where I'd rather have been.

I was asked at work yesterday if there was someone private where a mum could BF - it was busy and she wanted her DS to be able to feed without him being distracted by everything around him. Some people are happy to BF in public, some have differing reasons for wanting to be somewhere quieter. Nice to have the choice though

But surely you can see the distinction between having a well-signposted quiet room available for feeding (which I'm all for), and suggesting to a happily breastfeeding mum that she may prefer to go somewhere more private?

I'll admit I've not RTFT.

My DD is almost six months, I've fed all over the place and never been offered a room (though I did get 'moved on' from a closing museum, at which point I walked to the exit slowly carrying a still feeding baby, museum guy was mortified)

Am I the only one that thinks it's pretty bloody pointless to wait until someone has their baby latched on before offering them a private space?

Even if I'd prefer to feed privately (I'm probably one of the flop of and get squirting brigade that is offending people, mine are an E, DD won't feed with a cover, and she gets distracted and exposes a nipple occasionally, though mostly I find people don't even notice even so), I'm not going to stop, pack up all my shit and move half way through a feed.

Honestly I feel like being offered a room is alway going to seem like you're being asked to exclude yourself, when this is still such a touchy subject. Maybe signage would work 'Feed your baby anywhere, but there's a private space if you'd prefer' or something?

Like a PP said, a bed would be awesome, DD fed much better lying down when she was little and I was struggling.

Ok ok, I see what you are after is a pat on the back for breastfeeding and being comfortable breastfeeding in public. Well done you. There. Better?

To be honest I wouldn't have thought a soft play had a private room that you could use to breastfeed so letting me know would have been useful if I wanted it. I personally didn't mind feeding anywhere but as my daughter got a bit older she'd be a pain if I fed her somewhere busy as she'd get too distracted so I'd be glad of the offer.

I think breastfeeding is widely normalised- I fed out and about for about a year and never got any negative comments, and I fed anywhere And everywhere. That doesn't make it wrong for people to prefer a private area or cover up with a shawl. People should feed how they want to and where they want to. I didn't feed everywhere to prove a point or be a good example or try and normalise it- I just did what needed doing in the way that I found easiest and best for me.

I think some of the comments on this thread would make women who would prefer to feed in private or under a shawl feel like shit. There seems to be limited empathy towards others and their feelings.

I think some of the comments on this thread would make women who would prefer to feed in private or under a shawl feel like shit. There seems to be limited empathy towards others and their feelings.

Yup, that's exactly what it has done.