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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask: if you don't wear make up regularly, what do you genuinely think when you see someone who does?

515 replies

Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:26

Really interested to hear people's views on this as it's something the socially anxious person in me has always wondered.

I wear a lot of make up by most people's standards. It stems from my teens where I developed bad skin and was just desperate to cover it. It's a lot better now but I have scars and patches that I feel insecure about.
So as well as a concealer and powder foundation, I also fill in my eyebrows daily, wear liquid eyeliner on my top lid, kohl pencil on my waterline, mascara, bronzer and either matte lipstick or a tinted lip balm. Without the eye make up I look tired or ill (people have actually said that!)

This is most days unless I know for sure I won't be going out that day. I have applied it for so many years that it only takes me about 5/10 minutes to put it on in the morning, and the amount of money I spend on make up has just become one of those accepted expenses, although I don't actually spend a lot because aside from my foundation, the rest is usually affordable stuff like Maybelline, Bourjois etc

I go through phases where I just hate the fact that I feel like I have to wear it and so I try to wean myself off it e.g. By not wearing eyeliner or by going for a subtle/minamalistic look. But I just don't feel confident and end up reverting back!

I have always wondered what ladies who don't wear make up are thinking when they talk to me. If I walk in to a room, 99% of the time I am wearing the most make up out of any woman. So ironically, I wear make up so that people don't think "look at her scars", but now have developed this insecurity where I feel that when I talk to someone, all they are thinking is "jeez how much make up is she wearing, it's a toddler and baby group for crying out loud"!!

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
golfbuggy · 27/02/2017 13:28

It it's subtle makeup, I probably don't even notice.
If it's not so subtle, I tend to wonder why they bother. But only for a split second, I'm really not that concerned about what people look like.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/02/2017 13:28

I dont wear make up. I would notice if someone was wearing a lot which it sounds like you do, but I wouldn't judge. I'd just think bloody hell I wouldn't have the patience for all that malarkey

QuitMoaning · 27/02/2017 13:29

I rarely wear make up and when I meet someone who wears a lot, the only thought (unless it is badly applied) is how annoying to have to spend the
time putting all that on.

Other than that, I really don't care.

HookandSwan · 27/02/2017 13:30

You do whatever makes you comfortable. I never wear make up except for special occasions. But then I've always had good skin. I look after a baby for my job and I don't see the point putting make up on for that.

IamFriedSpam · 27/02/2017 13:31

Unless it's really very thick make up I probably wouldn't even notice. If it was very thick I'd probably just assume you liked spending a lot of time on your appearance (I might wonder if you think I'm a giant slob). It would neither improve nor diminish my opinion on someone and I wouldn't spend more than a minute thinking about it.

MycatsaPirate · 27/02/2017 13:31

I don't judge although I do think 'god I couldn't be arsed with having to do that everyday' :o

At most I'll wear a tinted moisturiser in the winter. but in the summer I rarely bother. I spend so much time at the beach and outdoors in the garden that I tan quickly and I don't need it.

I don't have amazing skin but I'm comfortable in it if that makes sense?

I think you get used to seeing people wearing make up and when they don't it's a shock which is why maybe someone says you look ill because they are seeing you without the painted face.

I don't think you are being silly but I do think that if you are fed up with wearing it every day then maybe cut down a bit and use less every day until you feel comfortable wearing less.

SooWrites · 27/02/2017 13:31

Unless there was something remarkable about your make-up that would make me think "Oh, what nice eyeshadow/how good is she at eyeliner?" etc then I wouldn't think anything at all about your make-up.

However, MN and various FB friends make me think I am not the norm sometimes. I genuinely care so little about what people wear, how they style their hair, whether their clothes fit etc that I don't notice nor think about it at all in most instances.

Unless you are orange? I notice orange people and I judge

EggsEleven · 27/02/2017 13:31

I wear subtle make-up but I'd never think to notice or judge if someone was wearing any or not. The only time I do in my head is if someone has heavy badly drawn on eyebrows or if their make-up is very OTT for the situation - e.g false eyelashes at the swimming pool. It would only be a fleeting thought in my head though and I wouldn't think any less of them as a person.

DappledThings · 27/02/2017 13:35

I only wear make up for weddings and occasional nights out. When I see someone with a lot of make up on (and what you describe sounds like a lot but I don't know what some of it is) then I do feel a bit sorry for them and assume they are not very confident.

Sometimes, if it's really a lot I do think it makes people look really artifical and unattractive but then sometimes people wear loads but it's all very subtle so you don't see it as much.

My judgement more is reserved for people who apply it on public transport.

AlmaMartyr · 27/02/2017 13:36

I don't really notice make up very much but if I did then I would just be impressed by the time commitment. I'd also worry that you might think I was lazy/unattractive for not wearing any (I also have some social anxiety!).

Maudlinmaud · 27/02/2017 13:37

Hmmm this is interesting. I always wear makeup and just reading your op made me realise that none of my friends or colleagues do. I hope they don't judge me. Sometimes though rarely people have commented on how can I be bothered.

Original poster
Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:38

Thank you, maybe I need to relax then. I hope after all these years I'm able to apply it properly although it would be hilarious if people actually think "she really doesn't know how to apply eyeliner does she" and here i am doing it the same way for 15 years!

No one has ever said anything to me, oh apart from my boss once who asked in the office if anyone had a pencil sharpener; I had my make up bag with me that day as I was going out after work and thought I may need to reapply/refresh it, so I said "yes I have one in my make up bag" - to which, with a confused look on his face he said "you don't wear make up do you?" - and I, along with a few female colleagues were like HmmConfusedHmmConfused - i think I actually said "are you blind, do you think I was born with a perfectly formed thick black line on my eyelid!?" Men!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:39

See if I talk to someone who doesn't wear make up, I never think "she doesn't make any effort", I actually am really envious and think god I wish I could do that

OP posts:
FirstSeemItThenBeIt · 27/02/2017 13:39

I wouldn't notice unless it was extremely false-looking - huge spidery lashes, those insane fake eyebrow things, or very thick foundation and contouring.

I wear a full face of make up every day, I'm just so used to it now that I don't consider doing it or not, depending on what I'm up to, so I'm probably more like you than not.

bigearsthethird · 27/02/2017 13:39

if its subtle makeup i'd just think you looked nice. If its loads of it caked on especially during the day I'd think you looked a bit daft. And most probably think you're a bit vain too. I generally only wear it when I go out in the evenings or out for the day but then its only a small amount. I used to have bad skin so not having to wear makeup now that my skin eventually cleared up I just love as felt I could never go makeup free as a teenager.

I hate seeing young girls wearing heaps of makeup as they would be so much prettier without it in my opinion anyway

Softkitty2 · 27/02/2017 13:41

I notice when someone who wears makeup suddenly doesn't.

Squidgling · 27/02/2017 13:42

I wouldn't really think anything unless it looked badly applied! I wouldn't say anything though! If it's fairly subtle I'm not sure if I would really even register it, but I may think to myself it looks a bit heavy for daytime if it did. I'd only really think that if you had a lot of dark eye make up or dark lip stick on though as I think they look more evening-y (not a word, I know!)

zzzzz · 27/02/2017 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

highinthesky · 27/02/2017 13:44

Until recently I wore make-up every day, it's not something I would think twice about for over 25 years. The look wasn't "natural"' but it wasn't OTT either and was how I chose to present myself professionally.

I can't stand comical looking make-up, or take someone seriously if they have orange skin, inflated lips, thick clown eyebrows etc. Each to their own but I would question the judgement of anyone with such a distorted self-image.

icanteven · 27/02/2017 13:44

I wear makeup - sometimes a full face, mostly just a little.

I would judge you if you look really OMG LOOK AT ALL THE MAKEUP I HAVE ON and it's really obvious. If you are just very well made up and look polished/dewy etc. I might just scrutinise you to see what it is that you have done that looks so well.

Do you look like this or like this? Because both are wearing heaps of makeup, but to a very different end effect!

nonameinspiration · 27/02/2017 13:45

Op I am you but my reasons are slightly different. Otherwise I could have written the whole post. I'm 37. Wearing more make up than everyone has bothered me more in the past than now. I've recently changed jobs and I've gone from being one of the youngest on the floor to toward the oldest. My new work place is full of very groomed young women. Wearing make up is the norm. We have s clutch of apprentices too who are about 18-20 - they wear even more than me to the point where I have started buying and wearing more.

The only thing I would think about op is whether you need to update or adjust your colour scheme against your age. I took dd to the hair dresser this am. The owner of the salon did her hair. I reckon she was about 45 maybe older but her make up was amazing and very flattering. She was wearing plenty but it was very light reflecting and brightening - peach and Pale pink tones on eyes and cheeks and quite subtle liner and mascara. It made me think if I'm never not going to war make up I can make a much better job of it. Hope that helps

Somehowsomewhere · 27/02/2017 13:46

I'd be envious that you had the time and the skill. I'm rubbish at applying it and with two toddlers and a DH who works away mon-fri id only get time to put make up on if I got up at 5am (DD2 gets up at 5.30)

nonameinspiration · 27/02/2017 13:47

Also I think this how can they be bothered is weird too. I don't look at someone's poker straight shiny hair and wonder how they can be bothered?

RedStripeIassie · 27/02/2017 13:47

I don't judge at all. In fact I'm always amazed/jealous that people can find the time to put it on and have the skills to do it well. A colleague of mine always turned up to our very unglamorous job looking like an Indian bride with perfect makeup and hair. She admitted she took 2 hours each morning to achieve this Shock.

I love my sleep too much! I'll occasionally wear mascara and a bit of lippy.

madcapcat · 27/02/2017 13:47

I wouldn't think anything of it but on the rare occasions I put make up on I have had the odd comment along the lines of ooh are you on the pull?