To ask: if you don't wear make up regularly, what do you genuinely think when you see someone who does?

[Mingewithafringe]

Really interested to hear people's views on this as it's something the socially anxious person in me has always wondered.

I wear a lot of make up by most people's standards. It stems from my teens where I developed bad skin and was just desperate to cover it. It's a lot better now but I have scars and patches that I feel insecure about.
So as well as a concealer and powder foundation, I also fill in my eyebrows daily, wear liquid eyeliner on my top lid, kohl pencil on my waterline, mascara, bronzer and either matte lipstick or a tinted lip balm. Without the eye make up I look tired or ill (people have actually said that!)

This is most days unless I know for sure I won't be going out that day. I have applied it for so many years that it only takes me about 5/10 minutes to put it on in the morning, and the amount of money I spend on make up has just become one of those accepted expenses, although I don't actually spend a lot because aside from my foundation, the rest is usually affordable stuff like Maybelline, Bourjois etc

I go through phases where I just hate the fact that I feel like I have to wear it and so I try to wean myself off it e.g. By not wearing eyeliner or by going for a subtle/minamalistic look. But I just don't feel confident and end up reverting back!

I have always wondered what ladies who don't wear make up are thinking when they talk to me. If I walk in to a room, 99% of the time I am wearing the most make up out of any woman. So ironically, I wear make up so that people don't think "look at her scars", but now have developed this insecurity where I feel that when I talk to someone, all they are thinking is "jeez how much make up is she wearing, it's a toddler and baby group for crying out loud"!!

Am I being silly?

I only wear make up when I'm feeling insecure I hold my hands up to that. I used to have to wear make up for photo shoots so it's not like I don't know how to put it on really well.

DH and I seperated though there is a sort of reconciliation of sorts going on. I am going through huge stresses currently and it's been terrible for last three months. I have worn make up for a boost, maybe the mask statement as stated above. I'm not entirely sure but reflecting there is some sort of confidence thing going on for me.

AlmostAJillSandwich why does wearing make up make someone fake? Why should a makeup wearer panic taking it off in front of their partner? You've got really strange views on make up. Almost like you are jealous of us make up wearers!?
Zeezeek I'm with you, except I love lipstick. I spend hours researching make up and love a good make up book.
I'm baffled that people think make up wearers are unconfident and insecure, I've found that my friends who do not wear make up don't because they haven't got the confidence to do so. I'll stick on any shade of lipstick because I'm confident and can walk into a room with a huge beaming lipsticked smile on my face!
This thread is making me want to go out and buy sheds loads more make up! 😂
Vicky what a load of tripe, if I just washed my face in water and had sauna baths I'd be one massive dry flakey burst blood vessel!

I love the people banging on about thick heavy foundation, maybe because that's the only foundation you notice!

Acne can be bacterial as well, usually a combo of both hormones and bacteria. So if you do wear make up you should clean your brushes etc, but no one I have ever seen re acne tells me that make up is 'bad', there are some amazing make up technology, mineral make up is bloody lovely

I have a job where I have to look presentable and professional. In my opinion only I think if I did not wear some form of make up I am not sure I would come across well, if I looked tired (I do without make up), so part of this is a society expectation but you know what - it's ok for me to have a 'work face' just as it is to have 'work clothes' that you wouldn't wear on your day off. Also most men and women have 'going out clothes' or going out hair so why can't you have a going out face? I don't feel the need to go barefaced in all situations because I can do that other times, the same as i wouldn't turn up to work in PJ's neither would I turn up without make up. It's part of my uniform and getting dressed. I honestly fail to see how that's sad or insecure. You could debate all day about why the heck women wear high heels, are they insecure if they like to?

There have been some great contributions to this thread; most responses have been nice to hear although there are some that make me think "hmm".

I guess what I was trying to get at with my OP was, say if you were in a room with 5 other ladies you didn't know, and me. The other women were not wearing makeup, or at least not noticeable makeup. Hair scraped back. Who would you gravitate to to talk to? In my experience, I just don't seem to get a warm response from other women in this situation and all I can put it down to is my appearance. I'm friendly and smiley, I try to be chatty, yet find it difficult to get a good rapport with women.
This is not only at baby groups, it's been at work networking events, it's been at baby showers for a friend where I didn't know the majority of the other women, it's been at weddings when I am sat at a table with other couples I don't know.

This thread has inspired me though to update my look, I've been doing my eye liner differently the last few days where I've completely cut out the top lid, and I have felt ok! I went for a walk without powder yesterday and it felt good! The real test will be when I go back to work soon!

Op if you're in a room full of bare faced people and you are the only one with make up then maybe that is it, but it sounds a bit strange! With saying that though most of my friends are like minded make up fans. Don't change yourself to fit in, it won't work, carry on as you are and I'm sure given time friendships will grow.

I wear tinted BB cream, mascara and a tinted lip balm day-to-day and actually I almost did say something to a waitress when we were away for half term because her eye makeup was a work of art. I stopped myself in case she got embarrassed but truly she'd done an amazing job, looked like a professional makeover in shiny silvers and pinks, beautiful.

So to answer your question, unless they look like Coco the clown, I'm usually quite impressed by well done makeup, it's only a negative when the makeup looks ridiculous.

I'm no expert (clearly) but there are lots of natural / nude shades about. If you're feeling self conscious maybe you could try experimenting with makeup that doesn't look like makeup, shading on lids to replace the eyeliner maybe?

I don't wear any make up because I don't want my dds influenced thinking they need any.

They are naturally very beautiful and I think the pressure with social media/adverts/magazines/cosmetic companies and modern age pressure do a lot of harm.

I don't tell them not to wear any but I try and lead by example

As I used to be a model the only time I wore any was when it was applied by the make up artist, as a result I never learnt to do it myself and my efforts were pretty horrific in contrast anyway, so I 've never had the confidence to go out made up in the street with the full glare of natural light!

I much prefer it when people look natural, earthy, outdoorsy and I suppose I gravitate to peope who are a bit like that (dogs/horses/people more comfortable in welly boots) even subconsciously...sorry op

Just to add I am also rather jealous of those who do makeup well. The major reason that I don't bother is because invariably I'll end up looking like a drag queen when I do try.

Oh, and I like guys in makeup too, big fan of guy-liner!

Not sure if this is to do with being a child of the 80's though...mmmm Adam Ant anyone?

TENSHI but I am an earthy outdoorsy person, in fact I'm off for a hike today! The only difference is that I wear makeup while doing it!!

The only thing I think is 'How lucky they are not to have the constant threat of severe eczema on their face'! My skin + makeup really doesn't work at all, so I wear no makeup ever, not even for my wedding. Whether someone does or not doesn't make a huge difference to me - though as a natural scruff I do find immaculately-groomed people ()makeup + cloths + shoes) just a little intimidating!

Minge but would you not worry that the mascara would flake?! Especially the waterproof ones?

I once wore all-singing all-dancing, smudgeproof,waterproof 48 hr mascara when swimming and I emerged from the pool looking like panda x raccoon.

How on earth do you find mascaras/eyeliners that you can actually trust?!

I found myself constantly anxious whenever I wore it worried whether it had smudged/streaked and it meant I always had to carry a little mirror, and heaven forbid..a bag to carry it in!

For years I haven't bothered and the freedom is bliss!

I love not caring what you or I think of how I look There are much more important things in life and being interested in one's appearance/worrying about a spot one might have just promotes unhealthy introspection.

There is that too Tenshi. Good point.

I think it's just up to people what they like to do really. I am quite relaxed about ity. I find it lovely I like how I look without make up and don't want to bother with it but others get a lot of pleasure from it so good luck to them if they do.

I wear makeup very rarely. I wish I could be bothered to put it on. I always wonder what people wearing makeup think of me...I don't think I look great without it. I'm just lazy.

Tenshi, pretty sure that as a former model you look amazing without make up! I have a young dd and I do not give a monkey's whether she goes out in full on KISS style make up when she's a teenager. I really don't. As I said previously I don't think there is anything wrong with a bit of self-expression, wanting to experiment with make up. I really think there are bigger concerns.

I wouldn't think anything of thick make up or no make up. Do people really have time to care? Wear your makeup and enjoy!

Me too! This post could have been written about me. I used tow irk as cabin crew and we had to be well groomed and have full make up at work. I guess it has just become a habit that I enjoy. I have two girls, it's my time to myself in the mornings, takes 10 mins and then I'm ready for the day. I don't really like my eldest wearing make up- she's 13- but even that would only extend to lipgloss, nothing more. Occasionally they like to do my make up etc which is fun and a lovely way to spend a wet Sunday doing girly things with them. There's nothing wrong with wearing it, I put plenty on but keep it subtle. I prob spend about 50 a mo th on make up, even more sometimes. I find that it protects my skin as I always get compliments saying I have good skin even tho I spend a lot of time in the sun. I have had mums say how can you be bothered and I just say it's tinted moisturiser- which it is mostly- and takes 5 mins roughly. I don't think anyone should judge as I wouldn't if I didn't wear any. All of my friends wear no make up. Sometimes tempted to suggest they should wear a certain product as their skin always looks dry but I don't want to rock any boats and nor do I have the right to say anything.

If you were in a room with 5 other ladies you didn't know, and me. The other women were not wearing makeup, or at least not noticeable makeup. Hair scraped back. Who would you gravitate to to talk to

I don't wear a great deal of make up but in this slightly weird situation I would probably assume the plain Jane no nonsense types are judging you for your make up and me for my clothes so I would gravitate towards you.

Honestly...Initially I'd assume we had very little in common and so probably wouldn't make the effort.. probably why I'm not a social person

"if you were in a room with 5 other ladies you didn't know, and me. The other women were not wearing makeup, or at least not noticeable makeup. Hair scraped back. Who would you gravitate to to talk to?"

I don't know who I'd gravitate towards as it wouldn't be based on whether they're wearing make up or not. It would be based on what they were like (loud/quiet? relaxed/tense? etc ), and what they were talking about.

I struggle with seeing people voluntarily choosing to paint their face with the big template eyebrows that make people look like they're trying out for a part on CrazyTown. The first time I saw a couple of lasses with them was a pair of girls working the coffee machine at Marks&Sparks and I was so bemused I thought they were doing a dare. Other than that, makeup should be appropriate to the situation and as subtle as possible, it's supposed to enhance, not distract.

My mother genuinely thinks that, beyond a certain age, a little make-up is a kindness to others. Her other belief is that other people have to look at you all do, so the least you can do is make an effort to look nice (obv she has other beliefs, this is just the personal appearance sphere). It pains her that I am not allowed to wear make-up for work. I realise how different I look made-up when (mainly) men I work with comment (in surprised tones) how different I look with my hair down and make-up on (and not covered in sand etc). I think as long as your look is modern, not dated (i.e. not caked and orangey) people will probably be wondering what your secret is (how you apply it, what product you use) and not in the least judging you. Obviously I can't remember the full quote, but there was something that Nelson Mandela said about letting your light shine, because it gives other people the permission they feel they need to let theirs shine too. I bet you look great.

Iterino I didn't know make up was supposed to be as subtle as possible, to enhance not detract! I've been doing it wrong for years! Why in earth do they sell red lipstick then?
Op to answer the question if you were in a room with 5 other ladies you didn't know, and me. The other women were not wearing makeup, or at least not noticeable makeup. Hair scraped back. Who would you gravitate to to talk to I would actually talk to you as I would judge the others and think they were a bit dowdy and therefore boring.

I don't wear make up. I very rarely if ever notice whether others do or not, sometimes if the make up is really amazing I do think wow, wish I had that talent to do apply make up like that. Then I promptly forget about it.

In your scenario of the five women I'd speak to which ever one smiled and looked warm and kind. I'm very shy and wouldn't normally strike up a conversation with random strangers anyway.

I agree Oterinothe HD eyebrow thing has got completely out of hand. These women will look back on old photos and die a thousand deaths at how utterly ridiculous and tacky they looked in ten years time. I know style and grooming fashions come and go, but some people just don't seem to understand that whatever thing is in fashion, laying it on far too thick and is never a good philosophy.

It was the same when people plucked their eyebrows quite thin - there were always the ones who thought this meant plucking them out altogether and drawing in a teeny tiny thin black line.

Most people'e attempts at contouring and highlighting are embarrassing disasters as well. The idea is very subtle shading that isn't actually be supposed to be seen, not painting visible tiger stripes in orange, brown and white all over your face.