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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask: if you don't wear make up regularly, what do you genuinely think when you see someone who does?

515 replies

Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:26

Really interested to hear people's views on this as it's something the socially anxious person in me has always wondered.

I wear a lot of make up by most people's standards. It stems from my teens where I developed bad skin and was just desperate to cover it. It's a lot better now but I have scars and patches that I feel insecure about.
So as well as a concealer and powder foundation, I also fill in my eyebrows daily, wear liquid eyeliner on my top lid, kohl pencil on my waterline, mascara, bronzer and either matte lipstick or a tinted lip balm. Without the eye make up I look tired or ill (people have actually said that!)

This is most days unless I know for sure I won't be going out that day. I have applied it for so many years that it only takes me about 5/10 minutes to put it on in the morning, and the amount of money I spend on make up has just become one of those accepted expenses, although I don't actually spend a lot because aside from my foundation, the rest is usually affordable stuff like Maybelline, Bourjois etc

I go through phases where I just hate the fact that I feel like I have to wear it and so I try to wean myself off it e.g. By not wearing eyeliner or by going for a subtle/minamalistic look. But I just don't feel confident and end up reverting back!

I have always wondered what ladies who don't wear make up are thinking when they talk to me. If I walk in to a room, 99% of the time I am wearing the most make up out of any woman. So ironically, I wear make up so that people don't think "look at her scars", but now have developed this insecurity where I feel that when I talk to someone, all they are thinking is "jeez how much make up is she wearing, it's a toddler and baby group for crying out loud"!!

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
Cuppaand2biscuits · 27/02/2017 13:48

As someone who doesn't bother much with make up, I would probably not even notice the amount or type of make up your were wearing.
If you always wear the same make up then I'm sure it won't stand out to people, you'll just look like you. I'd just think different people have different priorities, I choose an extra charge 10 minutes in bed or a cup of tea and you choose to put on make up.
I'd really try to worry less, I'm a playgroup veteran and no one is judging you. X

NoctisLucisCaelum · 27/02/2017 13:51

I wouldn't judge you at all unless you look like a clown. I don't know anything about makeup and apply it badly when I go out. Like some PPs, I usually worry that people are judging me because I can't be bothered to put it on every day, so I'm finding this pretty interesting!

LoopyLou1981 · 27/02/2017 13:51

I'm very envious of women that are made up and look like they've made an effort! I've never been overly speedy (or good) at putting on make up and, with an 18 month old to get ready in the morning, make up is right at the bottom of the list of things to do.
I'd love to put some make up on each morning and feel less dowdy and frumpy!
If it makes you more confident then stuff what anyone else thinks!xx

obeseclarice · 27/02/2017 13:53

I wear a similar amount to you OP - I have fairly good skin so never used to bother with foundation, but now I'm in my 40s I look better with it on, so wear that too. But I've been filling my eyebrows and wearing eyeliner, mascara, blusher and a lipgloss/ balm for 20+ years every day at work. I wear more for nights out or special occasions Grin.

Men have sometimes commented on the amount of makeup I wear (more my 'evening' makeup than daytime admittedly, but women have only ever asked where I buy certain products, or how I get my eyeliner so straight (years of practice!). I think you should always make the best of yourself, and makeup enhances my features, so why not wear it?

user1487519954 · 27/02/2017 13:53

I notice if it looks like they've really caked it on... And sometimes wonder what they're hiding. And I don't personally like anything unnatural, like the draw-on eyebrows or having really bronzed/glittery skin, but then it's your face, do what you want with it!
But then I am basically surrounded by men 99% of the time who (as far as I can tell) neither wear makeup themselves or seem able to detect it on others...

Ginkypig · 27/02/2017 13:53

I very rarely wear makeup, somtimes if I go out for dinner with dp or Iv got a "do" to go to but prob works out 3/4 times a year if that!

My initial reaction when I see a woman who has a lot of makeup tends to be oh I couldn't be bothered with all that work! I don't think negatively about the person though.

The only time I do seems to be these trends of massive caterpillar eyebrows and massive lips or the leaning toward drag makeup and then I feel terrible because it's not my face so I have no right to judge I always pull myself up on those feelings because really how fucking dare i judge another persons body/makeup/fashion choices!

I had a friend and my sister is like you though, and the drawback I see is I think they feel they have made a rod for their own back because now without it they feel somhow "less than" or they think they look ill which is silly because they are beautiful women, I bet you are too!

RedAndYellowPeppers · 27/02/2017 13:55

I never wear make up and usually don't ever notice if someone is or isn't wearing make up.
What I DO notice is badly applied make up, so much make up that you can't see the person underneath or someone that is much in you ur face that you can't miss it. The issue isn't the make up as such though.

1frenchfoodie · 27/02/2017 13:56

I don't wear makeup bar the odd bit of lippy now and then and I must admit I find huge false eyelashes incredibly distracting.
I doubt I'd give much thought to your make-up beyond idly wondering 'I wonder how long that takes' (my laziness is at the root of me not wearing any...) and, if you are never seen without it, 'I wonder what she looks like without it'.

TheLittlePaperbagPrincess · 27/02/2017 13:57

Don't wear make-up day to day, put o a bit of eye make-up for a night out or lipstick at Xmas. Used to wear more when I was younger.

I tend not to notice whether other people are wearing make-up or not, except if I see something I really like on someone, as in "oh, I like that colour of eyeshadow, wonder wear she got that."

Do sometimes some teenage trends and go a bit "Huh?" but usually passes quickly.

FatOldBag · 27/02/2017 13:58

You're massively overthinking it. I don't notice if someone wears it or not - obviously I can see it at the time, but it doesn't really register as a thing. Same as clothes, I know some people can tell if you wear designer labels somehow, I can't, not that it'd make any difference if I could, but it's just not something I notice. I tend to remember people's attitudes more, as in, if they were friendly, smiley, helpful or nice, or if they were grumpy, jobsworth-y or rude.

AssassinatedBeauty · 27/02/2017 13:58

I never wear makeup and I'm totally disinterested in it. I don't notice at all how much make up other women are wearing, unless they've got very obvious and over the top makeup, like very thick dark eyebrows, massively long false eyelashes or similar. Even then I don't think anything of it at all, I just notice it and then move on.

basicdetailss · 27/02/2017 13:58

I have never worn make up and when I see women wearing them I feel sad that I never learnt and have missed my chance. I like make up on women. I adore that look.

Foxysoxy01 · 27/02/2017 13:58

I would love to wear make up everyday but most of the time I'm at home or just popping out so feel like it's a complete waste!

I do feel slightly intimidated by people who wear makeup daily as I feel they have their shit together and are proper grown ups whereas I feel like a slob who can barely manage to brush my hair most of the time Blush

To me it looks like you take care of yourself and have confidence in how you look. Obviously if you are plastering it on and have clown lips etc I might think less is maybe more Wink

Original poster
Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:59

Sorry I can't link but probably similar to this which I found on Google - think she's an actress

To ask: if you don't wear make up regularly, what do you genuinely think when you see someone who does?
OP posts:
Lucked · 27/02/2017 14:00

Lots of people look very done at the moment with brows and false eyelashes so I wouldn't bat an eyelid - different stokes for different folks.

However you sound like you are really stuck in a rut and unable to see past one particular look. It will in time look dated and age you.

I think you should visit some make up counters and have some looks done for both day and night to get a fresh perspective. Perhaps ask for this for birthdays and Christmas.

brasty · 27/02/2017 14:01

If someone wears a lot of make up and it is not related to a job they are doing, I tend to think they must be pretty insecure.

basicdetailss · 27/02/2017 14:01

That's Kareena Kapoor, one of the most famous bollywood actress. She's so pretty!

Mrsemcgregor · 27/02/2017 14:03

I would be envious. I think I looks lots better with make up (concealer, powder, eyeliner, bronzer at a minimum) but don't always bother. When I see someone made up I think 'damn I wish I tried harder today'

BarbarianMum · 27/02/2017 14:04

I wouldn't really notice unless it was very, very obvious. I work outdoors a lot so would probably be a bit ??? if someone turns up for a day's scrub bashing in full make up and beautifully done hair and hope they weren't going to be a pain about wind/rain/sweat/mud ruining their look (we get corporate groups in a lot and this is occasionally a problem).

KittyWindbag · 27/02/2017 14:04

If it's well done makeup I usually think admiring thoughts. I love makeup. I used to be like you OP And wear an absolute face full every day. I've been paring it down a lot more recently. I don't know what happened. My confidence improved and I also suddenly just felt stuck in a rut with my look.

But I still admire women with brilliant makeup and obvious skills.

If it's really badly applied I wish I could be her friend just to gently tell her something is a bit off. But I don't think less of women who wear a lot of makeup. Live and let live!

MiddleClassProblem · 27/02/2017 14:04

I don't wear make up. I don't like the smell which stems from my childhood whole other thread and I've never felt the need despite a big birthmark, occasional spots and broken capillaries on my nose etc. I'm not sure why.

Anyway if I saw you I wouldn't think much of anything but if I knew the reason you wore it was due to insecurities then I would just feel empathy for you that you felt you couldn't go out with none on. I think society can make it so crippling on some to feel that they can't just be natural.

Loads of people wear make up as they enjoy it and find it fun. That's very different to feeling self concious without it.

Some of the most interesting faces are the ones with scars and lines, bumps and blemishes.

I think that was all a bit rambly , sorry x

GeorgiePeachie · 27/02/2017 14:04

I don't judge unless the look is over done. EG wrong colour foundation etc.
I stopped wearing make up early on in my teens. because I didn't know how to wear it nicely so was teased by people that did. Decided people could like my face as it was and they'd just get used to it.

Now when I do wear make up I get lots of complements which is nice. I feel that if I wore make up every day no one would notice that I was making an effort.

My sister has some acne scars and less good skin and is a very proficient make up wearer. She looks beautiful in make up. I just look like a clown.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 27/02/2017 14:04

I'm in the same kind of place as you with makeup, I feel kind of trapped with it tbh. I've tried a few times to just go without (still wearing mascara though) and I just don't feel nice at all. I'm actually a very confident and outgoing person otherwise but just feel more comfortable with my makeup on. I wear foundation, powder, blusher, eyebrow colour/powder and mascara daily. I wear more tham most people I know but I do see a.few people at DDS preschool who wear more than me. I would never judge anyone for wearing/not wearing it though. I notice if someone has really nice makeup though and think they must be really good at it.

I've recently had a baby (2 weeks old on Wednesday) and also have a 4 and 2 year old and the three days dd1 is at preschool I have to be up at 5.30 to get us all ready!

GreyHare · 27/02/2017 14:05

I don't wear make up, but I have had my eyebrows micro bladed as one fell out and I covered it with my hair and was very self conscious about it, but if I see someone with lots of make up on if done nicely I am always a tad jealous that one they are good at make up and two that I wish I could be arsed to put some on each day, the only thing I really don't like is all this layering and contouring with seems to make peoples skin look green and orange with white panda eyes.

UmmNo · 27/02/2017 14:05

Mostly I don't notice but sometimes I think people would look a lot better with less makeup. I don't think that judging it's more of an observation. I don't like fake eyelashes and the really heavy looking make-up but it's such a common thing it's just not something you notice.

I have a friend who recently started wearing heavier make up but is applying it terribly. She looks like Aunt Sally from Wurzel Gummage. I wouldn't say anything, I don't really care what she wears make-up wise and if she likes it then that's the most important thing. I think she would be horrified if she knew what I thought.

I know I'd look a bit fresher and bright eyed if I wore a little make up but I can't be bothered. I guess I feel fairly confident about my looks which might help. Not that I think I'm stunning or anything but I think I look ok.

I think it's actually very difficult to apply make-up which looks good all day. What looks good in your mirror at 7 in the morning might not look as good in bright daylight.