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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask: if you don't wear make up regularly, what do you genuinely think when you see someone who does?

515 replies

Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 13:26

Really interested to hear people's views on this as it's something the socially anxious person in me has always wondered.

I wear a lot of make up by most people's standards. It stems from my teens where I developed bad skin and was just desperate to cover it. It's a lot better now but I have scars and patches that I feel insecure about.
So as well as a concealer and powder foundation, I also fill in my eyebrows daily, wear liquid eyeliner on my top lid, kohl pencil on my waterline, mascara, bronzer and either matte lipstick or a tinted lip balm. Without the eye make up I look tired or ill (people have actually said that!)

This is most days unless I know for sure I won't be going out that day. I have applied it for so many years that it only takes me about 5/10 minutes to put it on in the morning, and the amount of money I spend on make up has just become one of those accepted expenses, although I don't actually spend a lot because aside from my foundation, the rest is usually affordable stuff like Maybelline, Bourjois etc

I go through phases where I just hate the fact that I feel like I have to wear it and so I try to wean myself off it e.g. By not wearing eyeliner or by going for a subtle/minamalistic look. But I just don't feel confident and end up reverting back!

I have always wondered what ladies who don't wear make up are thinking when they talk to me. If I walk in to a room, 99% of the time I am wearing the most make up out of any woman. So ironically, I wear make up so that people don't think "look at her scars", but now have developed this insecurity where I feel that when I talk to someone, all they are thinking is "jeez how much make up is she wearing, it's a toddler and baby group for crying out loud"!!

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
TeatimeForTheSoul · 27/02/2017 14:05

I agree with what Ginkypig says.

I rarely wear make up (mostly to cover acne or poor skin). This is mostly because I prefer no make up on me and others but .... When I see someone with made-up I'll admit to a little envy, not because I want to be made up, just that I wish I had the option. No matter how I try I'm useless and look like a clown with full make-up on as I have zero artistic skill (lots of skills elsewhere so not being hard on self just realistic).

The other thought I have is OMG that must cost a lot to maintain.

Lastly I feel sorry that any woman feels she needs to cover up when (until recently) men don't. It strikes me as another 'high heeled' brand of sexism. But as I've been rarely know to wear both some make-up and high heels I'm a hypocrite Wink

Coralfish · 27/02/2017 14:06

I normally think 'I should make a bit more of an effort...'

Noodoodle · 27/02/2017 14:06

I wonder how long it takes to do! A lot of make up on but done well, can look lovely. But done badly...I wonder if they didn't have someone to tell them or their lighting is bad. Or if they actually just like that look, but it's not for me. Most of the time I don't really notice, but then again I assume other people think I must be wearing it too though I wear none at all, and worry they think this is the best I can look WITH make up! Hmm

There was a teacher at dd's primary who came in every day with make up like a china doll. Lots of bright blush, dark eyes and bright lipstick. Very obvious from across a playground. Always thought she was very brave as she stood out a mile away.

Semaphorically · 27/02/2017 14:09

I notice other people's make up but I don't usually have an opinion about it (except fake tan, why would you want to look like you're courting skin cancer?), and I don't really look too closely at makeup unless I want to try the look myself.

BeyondThePage · 27/02/2017 14:09

I don't really notice in RL, in person,

but am a closet judger - one of the "OMG look at the makeup/eyebrows/lip-filler, spoils a pretty face" when watching gossip shows on telly Blush

Original poster
Mingewithafringe · 27/02/2017 14:10

Yes I do feel stuck in a rut, and I completely get the "don't feel like you've made effort for special parties" feeling - I never feel like there's much I can do differently other than a brighter lippy and a few more strokes of the eyeliner!!

OP posts:
Offler · 27/02/2017 14:10

I envy people who are good at eyeliner! I wear makeup most days now as I'm in my 40's and need a little boost to stop looking dead, but no eyeliner. I just can't seem to get it right, and on the odd occasion I do, it just ends up making an imprint above my eye (same as eyeshadow creasing, despite primer). I'd love to be able to a proper flick.

So for me it's either proper foundation (touche eclat) or a tinted moisturiser, concealer if needed, powder, bit of pencil on my brows as they are fair and my hair is dark red and they disappear halfway across (not through plucking), mascara and a bit of lippy (hardly ever reapply that though, so only lasts for the morning). I never take it to work with me either, so no freshening up during the day!

TataEsNC · 27/02/2017 14:14

i wonder where they find the time...

i don't wear it often, and have no reason to when i do, only that i had the time in the morning... in quite slow at it tho and it takes me 15mins. which is closer to 25 with the kids poking at it.

some people wear loads and i kinda wonder why they wanna look so far removed from a real person. but if it's done well i often just have eye liner envy (i'm useless at liquid eyeliner with flicks and what not!)

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 27/02/2017 14:15

For special occasions/evenings out I add mascara and a bit more.foundation. the eye-shadow does make quite a big difference but it isn't miles away from my daily look really

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 27/02/2017 14:16

I notice too much bronzer, or contouring, or heavily painted brows.

The worst are the false eye lashes at 08:00 in the morning.

I usually think "Oh, she would be so much prettier without it".

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/02/2017 14:16

I only wear make up now on the rare occasion that I'm going out for the evening, or going for a family photo session.

I've never been much of a one for it though - eyeliner at school, and then mascara once I worked out how to do it without looking like a doll. Almost never used foundation etc., but did have concealer for spots. And lipstick. I do use an eyebrow pencil now as well because my brows have faded even more with age, and they weren't that visible to start with!

What do I think when I see others in full make up - unless it's really fakey orange foundation, with overdone everything so that the person looks like a drag queen, then I think nothing. Doesn't even cross my mind, unless it looks overblown and unnatural. Yours doesn't sound like that at all, sounds like you're just trying to look natural by repairing the damage done to your skin in your teens.

megletthesecond · 27/02/2017 14:16

I don't judge. I just wonder how long it takes. All I can manage is mascara.

EllieMentry · 27/02/2017 14:17

I usually don't notice and don't judge (unless someone is orange and even then it's each to their own).

If I do notice, I'm more likely to be in awe of your ability to apply it as it's an entire skill set that has passed me by.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 27/02/2017 14:17

I have a friend who comes to nursery with a full face of contoured make up on every morning. Honestly? I'm in awe of her skill and think she looks beautiful. I'd love to be able to do makeup properly but I haven't a clue how.

EmeraldScorn · 27/02/2017 14:18

I'd be discreetly judgemental if;

  1. Your make up was blatantly orange!
  2. You'd done your face but not your neck!

I fucking hate how some girls/women have faces and necks that are two completely different colours, it looks horrible and it annoys me in a really irrational way. Do your neck !!!!

I honestly never pass comment on how anyone looks unless it's in relation to the aforementioned. I wear make up daily but I go for a more "minimal" look, for example if I do heavy eye make up then I'll keep the lips subtle etc.

Do you contour? I'm jealous if you do - I can't get it right no matter how much I practice!

Purplebluebird · 27/02/2017 14:18

I wear a tiny amount of makeup if I go out, a bit more if going out for a special occasion. At home I don't bother. When I see someone with lots of make up on, it tends to be in admiration for their skills, time and effort! I'd love to be good with makeup, but unfortunately I'm not, and not confident enough to wear a lot either. (I can't hide my ugly, is the idea).

PortiaCastis · 27/02/2017 14:22

I just wear foundation unless I'm going somewhere special then I go for the full monty but not slugbrows. I think great big slugs over eyes looks hilarious.

Olympiathequeen · 27/02/2017 14:22

When I see someone with heavy make up I think they are anxious and underconfident and feel they are trying to hide behind their 'mask'. I feel quite sorry for them because to me, it screams low self esteem.

RhodaBorrocks · 27/02/2017 14:22

I'm lazy and only wear make up if I really feel like I want to. On a day to day basis this is minimal (powder foundation, Concealer if needed, Blusher, highlight and tinted lip balm). I also get my brows and lashes tinted regularly to avoid having to faff with doing eye make up. However I accept that I've been blessed with good skin. My DM who has acne scarred skin always wears make up to leave the house and my DGM had a birthmark which I only ever saw if I slept over - otherwise she wore full coverage all the time whether staying in or going out.

When I see someone with amazing hair and make up at work (or a working Mum at DS school) I usually think that I wish I had the time and energy to do that every day. When I see the SAHMs at the school gate at 8:30 in fully contoured make up, skinny jeans and thigh high boots with 4 inch heels (not even exaggerating, it's like they're in competition with each other) I think "Life's too short" and how I'd never drag myself out of bed at 6am to do all that (because that's how long it would take me).

But I fully accept that I've made my choice and they've made theirs. I do take care over my clothes and am often overdressed compared to colleagues, but I like to look nice and I don't give a stuff if anyone thinks anything negative if I think I look good.

We all make choices. Stand by yours if it helps you feel good about yourself. Flowers

OldLibrary · 27/02/2017 14:23

I absolutely love wearing makeup, and do a full face every day. It makes me feel confident and can't imagine ever stopping.

I'm in my late forties, and have been wearing it since I was a young teenager. I wear more now.

I was chuckling to myself yesterday as I thought about his many people contour and highlight to take dogs to beach in a gale!

I'm interested in this thread as I often feel that non makeup people judge me. I quite often get a "you're always so glamourous" (I'm not) comment, which doesn't always sound like a compliment...

HecateAntaia · 27/02/2017 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatsername17 · 27/02/2017 14:24

I wear make up and have the same insecure thought as you do. I always worry what other people think of new though. I'm really quite insecure.

K425 · 27/02/2017 14:25

My usual thought is "why can't I do that?". I watched a woman on the train once go from plain skin to fully made up, foundation, contouring, blusher, eyes and mouth, and the change was so subtle. If I hadn't watched her, I would never have realised how much work she'd put in to looking so natural! I was seriously impressed.

Sometimes I look at women and think "you'd look so much better if you toned it down a bit or picked foundation that matched your skin tone". But I don't judge.

If you have time to put your face on before mother and baby group, you are to be congratulated and admired. I didn't always manage to do my hair. TBH, your routine looks pretty reasonable to me.

Medeci · 27/02/2017 14:25

If the make up is very obvious I wonder if they're having to cover up something, like spots or birthmarks.
Otherwise I don't look that closely at other women's faces.

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/02/2017 14:26

It would depend on the context, but if you wore that to the office I would probably think you were insecure and maybe a bit immature tbh. The eye make up looks totally inappropriate for daytime wear. If it was an evening out I would probably not notice or think it was OTT.

I don't normally wear makeup but I don't notice more "natural" makeup (though it annoys me more because it's more of this passing perfection off as normal rubbish we're constantly being sold) and I quite like outrageous makeup.