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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheating the system

436 replies

AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:19

I have a friend, a very good friend in fact, that I want to report for benefit fraud. I feel as unhappy as anything that I feel this way, but I do, and short of cutting all contact with her I will continue to feel very annoyed towards her.
In all honesty, even if I cut all ties, I would still feel very pissed off!

She is a lone parent to 2 primary age kids but she receives a large amount each month in benefits. So much in fact that she manages to save around 500 each month and book holidays, expensive days out and never has to go without anything. It's not on credit, she's very open about it all and will happily tell everyone exactly how much she gets and what it's spent on.

Part of what makes up her huge payments every month is a disability payment for one of the dc, but they are not actually effected by their disability iyswim, and friend has mentioned a few times that she really shouldn't get this payment but when check ups happen they lay it on thickly! I don't want to elaborate more as it could be very outing along with all the other info!

The disability payment, while annoying (her child is as able in everything as other children in every way, but because of a very small thing she gets the payment) isn't the issue, if the powers that be say she is entitled then she's entitled.

I've put this in to show that she's not hard up and stuggling to make ends meet in any way.

My problem is that on top of everything, she's also earning money on the side! Quite a lot of money too, at least £100 per week. Sometimes more.

This is really pissing me off and I'm struggling to remain civil With her when she's talking about money (all the time!)

I feel very strongly that what she's doing is crossing a big line. I don't think it's based on jealousy either, even if that's what's coming across. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I don't think she should be able to just carry on milking the system for every penny while also earning on the side.

I also don't want to put her in a position of struggling because I've said something, although i do feel that if she wasn't doing it then she wouldn't be in the position of getting in trouble.

In all honesty I don't think I can remain friends either way after putting all this down. It has really clarified It all for me.

So my aibu is, aibu to report her?

OP posts:
Toffeelatteplease · 26/02/2017 15:07

You also clearly know Jack shit.

If it's the child whose disabled its DLAif it's the adult whose disabled it's PIP.

If it's the adult whose disabled why is it the friend who is regularly being reassessed.

FWIW both of those you can claim regardless of income. Child tax credits and carers allowance you can still earn differing amounts on and still claim

Frankly you don't even seem to know what benefits it is your friend is supposedly cheating. Begs the question why you think she is cheating anything at all...

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 15:07

People nc all the time. It's allowed.
I wanted to gauge people's thought on this and it would seem that benefit theft is absolutely fine.

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 26/02/2017 15:08

As it appears is the ignorance shown in your op.

mrsmuddlepies · 26/02/2017 15:08

Cheating the system, taking more than you are allowed, just means there is less in the pot for those that genuinely need it. If you suspect that they are behaving fraudulently do report it. The NHS, state education and the care system is at breaking point and yet some posters on here constantly tell others to turn a blind eye.Ignore them and think of the greater good. You are doing the right thing.

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 15:08

I haven't said she's cheating the disability benefit.
I know she's cheating her other benefit because she's told me.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 26/02/2017 15:08

Report it if you want. No need to start a thread. You don't sound like a very nice person and certainly not her friend.

BestMammyEver · 26/02/2017 15:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JamDonutsRule · 26/02/2017 15:10

THE OP HAS ALREADY SAID:

It's not pip. I've also said I don't think it's dla. It's through tax credits.

RTFT!! The OP now thinks it had nothing to do with DLA!!

OP, I think you shouldn't report her because I think you have very little idea of her finances!

You think she earning £100 a week from work she isn't declaring but is getting circa £500 a month back in tax credits???

You said she was only permitted to earn up to £20pw with the DLA then when others pointed out it could be more you said it wasn't DLA, it was tax credits??

I think OP, butt out of her financial business because you have very little idea about the reality of her situation.

Willyoujustbequiet · 26/02/2017 15:11

Benefit theft?

Your story is full of holes and you appear to know bugger all about the benefits themselves and the criteria to get them.

But dont let the facts get in the way of your bitterness.

justagirl484 · 26/02/2017 15:11

Willyoujustbequiet exactly. Reams of paper of evidence in many cases. And it isn't unusual for those of us who have fluctuating disabilities to think that maybe we "aren't disabled enough to deserve it" if we are fortunate enough to have a run of good days in one week. I always try to be scrupulously honest in interviews and on forms and won't claim I can't do something if I can, but I will aslways make sure I emphasise the worst case scenarios of my illnesses- afetr all it is if you can do something safely reliably and often- I could climb a flight of stairs but the pain and fatigue would limit me from doing anything afterwards and risk of falling would be very great. I could also go out and meet new people or go to a doctors appointment one day but the next I may be way too anxious to speak normally, make eye contact or even go out without an anxiety attack or meltdown. When things are bad for me they get very bad. Yet if you saw me on a good day I might seem fine to you

nonameinspiration · 26/02/2017 15:12

It's really hard to get dla now I went to a tribunal lately. Otherwise wind your neck in

BestMammyEver · 26/02/2017 15:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bahh · 26/02/2017 15:13

Okay SaorAlba because I totally said all benefits claimants in general are killing the country, sure I did Wink

Deary me, bit bored this afternoon are we. Inventing insults so you can get all indignant.

justagirl484 · 26/02/2017 15:13

What you probably wouldn't see even on my "good" days was those seemingly small acheivments (going out without anxiety attacks, maintaining eye contact or normal conversation face to face or walking a short distance would actually be very difficult, tiring and only just about acheivable

myoriginal3 · 26/02/2017 15:14

I would report someone I despised yes. But someone I called a friend? No.
Besides which, I think you're talking through your arse and haven't a clue what she's receiving nor what she's entitled to.
Basically, you're jealous, bitter and ignorant.

reuset · 26/02/2017 15:14

You want our blessing and validation, OP?

For a spiteful, changing story full of holes, you can think again.

myoriginal3 · 26/02/2017 15:14

Not to mention deceitful.

TataEsNC · 26/02/2017 15:14

if she openly admits she's cheating the system then of course u should report her.
if she's not actually cheating the system and is just saying it then it's a lesson learned (for her) and she'll still get the benefits she's entitled to.
being someone's friend does not mean turning a blind eye to fraud!
this post is nuts

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 26/02/2017 15:14

Bahh do some research on benefit fraud vs tax evasion and tally up the figures. Then come back and tell me that it's fraudulent benefit claimants that are killing this country. Off you pop Grin

SpaceDuck · 26/02/2017 15:14

People do cheat the system to get DLA/PIP.

My mother has so many health problems and is on DLA and hasn't worked for nearly 30 years because she is just physically unable to. When they changed everything over with DLA/PIP a few years ago, she was nearly hyperventilating at the thought of her car and money getting taken off her and being sent back to work at the age of 55 (even thought we all knew that would never happen)...all because someone she knew got caught out for cheating the system. So even though she is perfectly entitled to what she gets, she was worried they would think she was lying about her illnesses (even with several consultant letters from the hospital) because so many other people do lie.

ArriettyClock1 · 26/02/2017 15:15

I just couldn't be bothered to be bothered.

Maybe stop being her friend as it's winding you up so much. I wouldn't report her - you might be wrong and what would it achieve for you?

flogoes · 26/02/2017 15:16

If her child is getting DLA then there will be automatic payment of the disability element of tax credits and that can make a huge difference - it made a difference of £700 a month to my friend's family. And DLA is not means tested. There are a lot of other benefits that only become payable when DLA is awarded.

Vq1970 · 26/02/2017 15:18

The thing is though, if the Op reports this person, this person isn't going to be on the breadline. What will happen is that she wont be able to afford to save £500 a month, go on lots of holidays and expensive days out and they may have to do without some of the luxuries in life.

How many of you who work hard and earn every penny you can are already in this position because you work and don't claim benefits? How many of you can save £500 a month, go on expensive holidays, never tell your children they can't have something because you don't have the money for it? This is where the problem is. The benefit system should not be providing this kind of lifestyle and if she's fiddling the system to provide this kind of lifestyle for herself then yes, she should be reported.

insan1tyscartching · 26/02/2017 15:18

To get the extra tax credits you have to claim DLA. To get DLA for a child DWP will contact the health professionals involved as well as the child's school so the child must have difficulties recognised by both health and educational professionals. If the child is receiving DLA the Mum will be entitled to Carer's allowance and can earn £110 after tax, childcare and any pension contributions so it's most probably the case that your "friend" is doing nothing wrong.

LucklessMonster · 26/02/2017 15:18

It's very clear you have no idea what you're talking about.

Report her if it makes you feel better. Just don't be surprised if nothing happens as a result.

Definitely stop being her "friend" because you're a shit friend.

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