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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheating the system

436 replies

AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:19

I have a friend, a very good friend in fact, that I want to report for benefit fraud. I feel as unhappy as anything that I feel this way, but I do, and short of cutting all contact with her I will continue to feel very annoyed towards her.
In all honesty, even if I cut all ties, I would still feel very pissed off!

She is a lone parent to 2 primary age kids but she receives a large amount each month in benefits. So much in fact that she manages to save around 500 each month and book holidays, expensive days out and never has to go without anything. It's not on credit, she's very open about it all and will happily tell everyone exactly how much she gets and what it's spent on.

Part of what makes up her huge payments every month is a disability payment for one of the dc, but they are not actually effected by their disability iyswim, and friend has mentioned a few times that she really shouldn't get this payment but when check ups happen they lay it on thickly! I don't want to elaborate more as it could be very outing along with all the other info!

The disability payment, while annoying (her child is as able in everything as other children in every way, but because of a very small thing she gets the payment) isn't the issue, if the powers that be say she is entitled then she's entitled.

I've put this in to show that she's not hard up and stuggling to make ends meet in any way.

My problem is that on top of everything, she's also earning money on the side! Quite a lot of money too, at least £100 per week. Sometimes more.

This is really pissing me off and I'm struggling to remain civil With her when she's talking about money (all the time!)

I feel very strongly that what she's doing is crossing a big line. I don't think it's based on jealousy either, even if that's what's coming across. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I don't think she should be able to just carry on milking the system for every penny while also earning on the side.

I also don't want to put her in a position of struggling because I've said something, although i do feel that if she wasn't doing it then she wouldn't be in the position of getting in trouble.

In all honesty I don't think I can remain friends either way after putting all this down. It has really clarified It all for me.

So my aibu is, aibu to report her?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2017 14:50

She is earning a measly 100 pound a week and not declaring it, hardly earning loads.

I wish an extra £400 a month wouldn't make any difference to me...Confused

Qqnamechange · 26/02/2017 14:50

*cant

reuset · 26/02/2017 14:50

its not about the dla payment. As I've said, I've put that in to show she's not struggling financially at all.

DLA payments show that do they. Hmm, quite different to accounts people have related on here

And I agree with other posters, I'd imagine those checks were very comprehensive, not 'laying it on thick'

MichaelSheensNextDW · 26/02/2017 14:50

OP have you ever thought about complaining to your MP about huge corporations who structure themselves to avoid paying millions in tax in this country? Thought not.

PageStillNotFound404 · 26/02/2017 14:51

Actually OP I think you're getting a bit of a hard time, and I say that as someone whose DH is in receipt of DLA & ESA and who spends much of my free time as a disability advocate for a local charity.

There are people who play the system, and it's naïve to think otherwise. They're a tiny majority, but they exist - and they make it harder for the genuine claimants, because they (along with the media) help perpetuate the stereotype that all people on benefits are scroungers.

What I would say is, don't be a hypocrite about it. Tell her that you're uncomfortable being complicit in what amounts to benefit fraud, and that if she continues to earn undeclared cash in hand you'll be forced to report her, just as you would if she'd committed any other kind of crime.

WorraLiberty · 26/02/2017 14:51

Bit too simple though isn't it TeaCake5?

The OP needs to bosom hoik in public first it would seem. You know, just to add to the bad name benefit claimants already get given by some.

Hasn't got the spine to do it without name changing first, but there we go...

Trifleorbust · 26/02/2017 14:51

If you snitch, that's fine on my view as long as you do tell her it was you. Somehow I can't see you doing that but if you say different, fine.

BestMammyEver · 26/02/2017 14:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Willyoujustbequiet · 26/02/2017 14:52

I think you are talking rubbish.

Its incredibly difficult to get DLA.

It is not means tested.

You are allowed to earn.

The extra tax credits are due to the DLA

You are not assessed 6 monthly. Your friend does not appear to be doing anything wrong.

You sound bitter and jealous.

Bahh · 26/02/2017 14:52

I hate this entitlement culture.

"I'm entitled, I should have it".

Well, no love. That's why the benefits system is in the shitter. We don't all HAVE to take every penny we are technically allowed. Don't need it, don't take it. Pure greed.

WeAreTheKingsOfTheBoudoir · 26/02/2017 14:53

DLA is ridiculously hard to get, it's very unlikely your friend is simply "laying it on".

Clandestino · 26/02/2017 14:53

I would never be able to call a friend someone I reported. Pretty disgusting and fake, eh?

foodtime · 26/02/2017 14:54

Fuck sake OP you don't even know for sure if she is cheating the system. You seem to know very little. But she has more money then you which is unacceptable to you. She's a single mum right she can't be doing better then you,

What do you want to happen OP if you reported her?

Spikeyball · 26/02/2017 14:55

You can't get extra tax credits for a child with a disability unless they receive DLA.

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:55

I'm a benefit claiment. I'm treated like rubbish by a lot of people, mainly because they assume that I'm playing the system.

It's people like my friend (although I agree she not my friend ) that have caused this view of people like me.

If I report I will say something. I've already said that she shouldn't be doing it and pointing out how much trouble she could be in. She doesn't care or think it could happen to her.

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 26/02/2017 14:56

"I know what she can earn. It's 20 pounds a week without declaring it."

Does that not depend on the exact benefits she's claiming?

For example, with a child assessed as eligible for disability benefits, is it not the case that your friend could earn just over £100 per week, and still claim Carer's allowance?

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:56

I know what she has told me.

OP posts:
NarcsBegone · 26/02/2017 14:56

What will happen if you report her is that she could stand to lose a big chunk of her benefits. She would then need to make up that money through work. She may not be able to do that and so will struggle terribly financially.

If she claims jsa she will lose it.
If she claims Esa because she is ill but is actually not ill then she will lose it.
Claiming pip or dla is a very very complicated thing to do! It's often not awarded to people that have terminal illnesses and it is very doubtful that she has got that when there is no need.
Tax credits can be given if working or not but her income from work will affect the amounts.
Housing benefit and council tax will also be affected by income. It used to be that anything over £50 a week earned would be taken from housing benefit payments but that may have changed.

While I don't condone benefit fraud I do think that living on benefits is very very hard to do. I currently get pip but should that be stopped I wouldn't be able to afford my rent, car and some of my bills. It is only because of that extra payment (because I am genuinely ill) that I can be on benefits and survive. Someone without that extra money would seriously struggle. She will be living in constant fear of being found out for earning the little that she is.

I would really have a look at the consequences of reporting her, why you really have an issue with this and make an informed decision.

reuset · 26/02/2017 14:56

So it's not DLA now, OP Hmm

Branleuse · 26/02/2017 14:56

You sound hideous and bitter OP

Serialweightwatcher · 26/02/2017 14:57

I know exactly what you mean OP ... I know a lot of people who are doing the same as your friend and it irks me too - they put down all sorts for their children and it is very rare that the DLA look into this - the kids I know where this is apparent are fine, go to college, go out on their own, have ridiculous amount of stuff because the parents are claiming full whack and also carers allowance and it's not right at all - all they have to do is put on the form that they can't do this, that and the other which is not true because I know what they are capable of because we are close. I agree with you, it's wrong

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:57

Her child isn't disabled.

OP posts:
Beachedwh4le · 26/02/2017 14:57

It would frustrate me too OP, but you're going to get slaughtered on here Wine

PurpleDaisies · 26/02/2017 14:58

I know exactly what you mean OP ... I know a lot of people who are doing the same as your friend and it irks me too - they put down all sorts for their children and it is very rare that the DLA look into this

What a load of total bollocks.

Every DLA claimant is scrutinised to without an inch of their life and it's really hard to get, even if you are seriously disabled.

You've been reading too much of the daily mail.

Trifleorbust · 26/02/2017 14:59

Well, no, I think we can all agree she isn't your friend. It's just that you said she was a very close friend in the OP. Hmm, how odd.