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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheating the system

436 replies

AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 14:19

I have a friend, a very good friend in fact, that I want to report for benefit fraud. I feel as unhappy as anything that I feel this way, but I do, and short of cutting all contact with her I will continue to feel very annoyed towards her.
In all honesty, even if I cut all ties, I would still feel very pissed off!

She is a lone parent to 2 primary age kids but she receives a large amount each month in benefits. So much in fact that she manages to save around 500 each month and book holidays, expensive days out and never has to go without anything. It's not on credit, she's very open about it all and will happily tell everyone exactly how much she gets and what it's spent on.

Part of what makes up her huge payments every month is a disability payment for one of the dc, but they are not actually effected by their disability iyswim, and friend has mentioned a few times that she really shouldn't get this payment but when check ups happen they lay it on thickly! I don't want to elaborate more as it could be very outing along with all the other info!

The disability payment, while annoying (her child is as able in everything as other children in every way, but because of a very small thing she gets the payment) isn't the issue, if the powers that be say she is entitled then she's entitled.

I've put this in to show that she's not hard up and stuggling to make ends meet in any way.

My problem is that on top of everything, she's also earning money on the side! Quite a lot of money too, at least £100 per week. Sometimes more.

This is really pissing me off and I'm struggling to remain civil With her when she's talking about money (all the time!)

I feel very strongly that what she's doing is crossing a big line. I don't think it's based on jealousy either, even if that's what's coming across. She is my friend and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I don't think she should be able to just carry on milking the system for every penny while also earning on the side.

I also don't want to put her in a position of struggling because I've said something, although i do feel that if she wasn't doing it then she wouldn't be in the position of getting in trouble.

In all honesty I don't think I can remain friends either way after putting all this down. It has really clarified It all for me.

So my aibu is, aibu to report her?

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 26/02/2017 15:22

You say you inky know what she has told you with regards to the disability payments so do you not think it's entirely possible that she is massively playing down his symptoms to people outside of her family so that people don't treat him any differently. Saying to you that she lays it on thick etc as she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her (being the lone parent of a disabled child).

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 15:22

How has the story changed? Read the op again.
I know only what she has told me. That's what I'm going on. Everything has come from her mouth.

If someone tell me they've killed someone do I ignore it because I didn't see them do it. I only know what they've told me.

I believe, and so does she, that she's doing something wrong. She's said it herself.

OP posts:
Bahh · 26/02/2017 15:22

SaorAlba what on earth is this obsession with only being allowed to hold one opinion at a time?

I have a big bug bear about tax evasion. This thread isn't about that so I've not mentioned it. Seems reasonable.

There is no singular reason for this country being in a bit of a mess. There are many, many that could be listed but this particular thread is about one of those reasons; benefit fraud. Small though it may be, it is a contributing factor.

Go ahead and start a thread about the rising cost of taking care of the elderly, NHS tourism, immigration control, dishonest politicians, greedy bankers, large corporations avoiding tax ... and I'll gladly contribute my many other opinions.

Don't just sit and focus on the one small comment (which you have manipulated to mean what you want it to mean so you can get all high and mighty) on one small post on one small issue. Chill.

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 15:23

No. I know the child very well too. And she isn't the type to downplay anything.

OP posts:
justagirl484 · 26/02/2017 15:24

Bah I know several people claiming DLA who aren't disabled...it happens How is that possible if so much medical evidence is needed. Are they bribing their doctors or something?

Original poster
AngryNameChanger · 26/02/2017 15:25

Off to cook dinner. Will be back. Not running away.

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 26/02/2017 15:25

What disability does the child have? How much are the 'huge' benefit payments she receives each month?

greenworm · 26/02/2017 15:26

If she's bragging about cheating the system, I too would find it annoying. But I think you should just stop being friends with her, rather than report her.

Rubies12345 · 26/02/2017 15:27

How can she be earning £100 and not declaring? Is it 'cash in hand'? If not she's likely to get caught.

justagirl484 · 26/02/2017 15:27

AngryNameChnager I know the child very well and she isn't the sort to downplay anything Oh, ok then OP, sorry, I didn't realise that. Should have read the OP more thoroughly. if it someone you know well, maybe you have a valid point. You could report anonymously? I think there is a helpline for anonymous reports? I would be concerned if she knew you had reported you she might beome upset and take it out on you?

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 15:27

OP, you've gone from saying the child has a disability, to saying the child doesn't have a disability.

To get the extra tax credits, the child has to be in receipt of PiP.

Bahh · 26/02/2017 15:28

Justagirl no, they're faking to their doctors too. How do you disprove someone has depression or anxiety or PTSD, or chronic pain syndrome or chronic fatigue ... there are many things you cannot medically confirm or deny.

And before anyone starts no I'm not suggesting the above mentioned problems are made up, I suffer from a couple myself - just saying you do not always have to have them to be able to act like you have them.

OnionKnight · 26/02/2017 15:28

You know fuck all OP and your ignorance is astounding.

SuperFlyHigh · 26/02/2017 15:28

I know little or nothing about various benefits/credits. I've never claimed from the system as I have savings/investments I should be able to rely on otherwise.

Sounds like sour grapes on OP's part especially if a few posters point out that her friend can work whilst claiming DLA/PIP. If OP can't be bothered to do the same work and declare it then that's her look out.

I dislike benefits fraudsters but for every fraudster there are millions of genuine claimants.

So YANBU to report her OP, but you have no idea what her life is like, apart from a snapshot of it.

Dawndonnaagain · 26/02/2017 15:30

A work colleague told me his wife claims DLA and when she has to go for an assessment she doesn't wash her hair or put on make up and dresses in scruffy clothes. He has to pick her up afterwards and refuses to go shopping with her when she looks like that.
Because the assessors are told that if someone looks clean, tidy and made up it's not because they're having a good day, it's because they don't need the money. I suggest you read some of the forums detailing the hoops through which we have to jump. For example, an assessor told me last year that despite my diagnosis I couldn't possibly have an ASC because I can talk to people at the checkout and because I was dressed appropriately for the weather. Angry She went on to say that I should be able to remember things because I have an ASC.

JamDonutsRule · 26/02/2017 15:31

Benefit theft?
*
Your story is full of holes and you appear to know bugger all about the benefits themselves and the criteria to get them.
*
But dont let the facts get in the way of your bitterness.

^^ haha, you made me laugh PP GrinGrinGrin

OP, I think you're going to report regardless of what anyone says, so just do it quietly without looking for validation and for half the internet to wade in with comments about benefit cheating scum to make you feel better would you? or just come to your senses and don't

BettyBaggins · 26/02/2017 15:31

You don't seem to quite understand the differences between her claim and yours regarding the DLA that gets paid attached to her tax credits and as pp have said it seems she could well be entitled to earn more than you are aware. I appreciate if that is the case when comparing your situations that may feel unfair.

It may be that not only do her payments get changed but that she has to go to court, get prosecuted, carry out community service and have a life long record that may well affect her employment choice and children's living situation in the future. Are you sure you want to be part of making that happen?

Obviously it's your call but she maybe exaggerating and you maybe jealous. Also could there be any repercussions locally towards you/your children if you do snitch?

I think there is much to be said for minding ones own business unless the health and welfare of children/vulnerable people/animals is at risk.

I'm also somewhat confused about you calling her a friend 'a very good friend infact' and then deciding she isn't really a friend at all. So you've been hanging round with someone who isn't really your friend pretending you are actually a very good friend, for what reason? To be nosey?

PickAChew · 26/02/2017 15:34

In order to get the disabled child component of tax credits, the child needs to be in receipt of DLA.

EustaceClarenceScrubb · 26/02/2017 15:35

I'll say again. I only know what she tells me and others.

So you are admitting that you don't actually know for sure. Perhaps she is bigging things up, bragging about her income to make her seem more affluent than she really is.

Toffeelatteplease · 26/02/2017 15:35

This is where the problem is. The benefit system should not be providing this kind of lifestyle

Well pardon me I shall live on bread and gruel and wear sack cloth for having the misfortune of being born with a child with special needs.

Because that will make those who have nice jobs, healthy children, pensions and a decent lifestyle feel better about the tiny amount of income tax that goes on benefits.

Tell you what how about I swap my decent holiday and not (being able to) work for your child having the disability not mine?

I fancy it know which of us would be willing to swap and which wouldn't.

CrossCountryRunner · 26/02/2017 15:35

Call yourself a friend?

Fuck me sideways.

From reading the whole thread you don't seem to know much about your friend's finances.

Somebody once reported me to the DWP. Apparently I was working as a prostitute. I had my benefits stopped for two months whilst the investigation took place. The allegations were found to be totally unfounded. I engaged a lawyer (legal aid of course). I got my benefit money backdated.

So I would butt out if I was you. You clearly don't know much about her financial situation or you are bored on a Sunday afternoon.

WorraLiberty · 26/02/2017 15:40

What's your next thread going to be, OP?

"I've got a sore throat. Shall I go and see my doctor?"

"My foot is itchy. Should I scratch it?"

NettleTea · 26/02/2017 15:41

if she is getting tax credits then she must be working - and yes, if you get DLA then you do get an enhanced rate of tax credits. You dont get tax credits if you are a jobseeker. She wont be able to claim anything for her child through tax credits without them having DLA, which is a 40 odd page document that has to be completed and substantiated with medical evidence - they dont just go by your 'laying it on thick' application. DLA and PIP have some of the absolute lowest rates of benefit fraud out there as they are bloody difficult to get.

So if she is getting tax credits she must be declaring the income, perhaps as self employed, and as others have said, as a carer, she can earn £100 a week before they start taking it off the carers allowance, but that is calculated annually, so will be adjusted accordingly.

And nobody has their DLA assessed 6 monthly. Thats bullshit. The DWP dont have time for that.

justagirl484 · 26/02/2017 15:41

Bahh With ME/CFS actually blood tests can show white blood cell count abnormalities. ME itself cannot be tested but often people who have it will have an abnormal cell count. Such a relief when mine turned out to be that way as was proof it wasn't all in my head. Having said that I have heard that some people have ME/CFS due to a traumatic life event rather than a virus like mine was. I guess it is possible. Statistically though doesn't benefit fraud of DLA/PIP count for 2% of the fraud cases? I am sure it goes on albeit rarely

NavyandWhite · 26/02/2017 15:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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