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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DD go to this party?

164 replies

welliesandsequins · 25/02/2017 17:54

Dd(14) has been invited to go to a party next weekend. It's her friend's boyfriend's friend's party. She is not at the same school as the boyfriend or his friend. She is at the same school as her friend but I have never met her or her parents.
She has been invited with three other friends, all of whom I know.
I happen to know some other children going to the party as the school is local. But their parents don't know the hosting parents either.

I have several issues. Firstly I don't know the hosting parents. I would be surprised if they are aware that my dd or her friends are coming. Not only is that unfair on them, but I wonder how many others will just turn up. (Party is not at their house).
There will probably be alcohol there. I don't feel that is safe when I don't know who will be there, who is keeping an eye on them, and no one will know who dd is/I am if there's a problem.

AIBU not letting her go? I have said I would need to speak to hosting parents but realistically o don't know how she will get a contact for them.

Secondary to that there are logistical issues as dd wants all her friends to stay with us after the party. But those can be worked out. It's the party itself I am worried about.

OP posts:
Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:23

Magzmarsh whilst I've been on here we have been out to a sporting activity with my child, had dinner together and now she is revising....Thanks anyway. Sorry to disappoint you.

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:25

Lol you post on mn whilst having dinner, how terribly RUDE 🤣

ElvishArchdruid · 26/02/2017 19:25

Sorry still giggling at the title. I did read the OP, but the title has made my day, imagining a Dad sat there sulking.

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:25

I've only been defending myself from you. Still waiting for you to show me where she can't make decisions until her 18th birthday. Let yourself down there haven't you. You got a bit carried away trying to make out I was wrong about everything didn't you.

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:27

Magzmarsh didn't actually text whilst eating....Ate dinner together then looked again. Really struggling to find faults aren't you.

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:27

It's so funny watching you go frothing berserker 😬

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:29

"Didn't you?"
"Haven't you?"
Right on your wee high horse explaining and detailing everything you did today to justify yourself, it's highly amusing 🤣

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:32

Seriously don't get so wound up, won't do your blood pressure any good 😊

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:33

Magzmarsh don't need to justify myself. Think you should though. You are rude just rude. Please tell me where my knowledge is wrong? I'm not frothing at all. Just answering you. You clearly are running out of argument s and are digging yourself in deeper by the minute.

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:34

You are the person who has said my child has been out scoring drugs. That's not nice us it.

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:34

No I'm just finding you hilarious 😂

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:34

Magzmarsh..My blood pressure is fine thanks.

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:35

Any more insults? Overdoing it a bit aren't you.

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:36

It's like shooting fish in a barrel winding you up, think I need more of a challenge actually 😊

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:37

I'm not finding you hilarious. You are rude, misinterpret things, make stuff up and then can't prove it, and then have a go at people for a laugh. You aren't nice at all. How would you like it if people said your child was scoring drugs. You are really not showing yourself in a good light here.

Magzmarsh · 26/02/2017 19:38

Au revoir, you're repeating yourself now and getting very boring so night night sweetie pie 😋

Iflyaway · 26/02/2017 19:44

Poor OP's thread has been totally hijacked by this tit for tat argument.
It's not on.

StatisticallyChallenged · 26/02/2017 19:44

I grew up in one of the areas Magzmarsh is almost certainly talking about. By 14 I was regularly going in to town, cinema, visiting friends who were miles away. I could easily have been at the skate park, mum wouldn't have had a clue.

Funnily enough I've never touched drugs. I did however end up having to look after one of my school friends one night who got off her face as soon as she was out of her parents sight (school prom!) and ended up in hospital. IME those on the tightest leashes were those who went most off the rails.

Hateloggingin · 26/02/2017 19:45

Magzmarsh - you're coming across as a complete twat

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:48

Magzmarsh so when you can't explain yourself..You make fun of others. You got it wrong by saying I said my child can't make a decision until 18. You haven't been able to prove that at all. You can't admit that, so insult others to deflect from it.

Mumzypopz · 26/02/2017 19:49

Hateliggingin....Thankyou.

callmeadoctor · 26/02/2017 19:50

Can you two wave some white flags or sommat? Im sure you are both great parents xxx

AmysTiara · 26/02/2017 19:50

I'd let her go. I used to love going to parties at that age.

myoriginal3 · 26/02/2017 19:52

Magz and Mumz - quit it.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 26/02/2017 20:11

I would let my dd go. At 14 I'd of been mortified had my parents wanted to speak to the boys parents.

What I would want is the details of where the party is. What time it finishes and to work out how she'd get home. Am I picking them up. I'd also make sure the kids who are staying at yours after parents know.

At fourteen it's about building trust between you and your daughter. Not treating her like a little kid.