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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He forgot

157 replies

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:09

So, me and my DP have been having some difficulties in the bedroom recently, however he's now been put on medication and things are going great BlushGrin
So, it was his birthday this week and today I took him to one of his favourite places, payed for VIP treatment etc. Cost me my weeks wages nearly but never mind! Well on the way there we decided (thus being my suggestion by the way) that on our return we would stop by at the local fancy dress shop and pick up some costumes for tonight ;).
Cutting long story short, DP loved his day out and was beaming from ear to ear at the end. So anyway afterwards we get into the car and begin driving home (me feeling all excited about costumes) when DP says to me, "great day babe are we ready to go home?" to which I replied "Oh, isn't there anywhere else we need to go?" the answer, "No, don't think so," and drove us all the way home.
So now I feel really annoyed. I gave my wages and my time for him today doing something I hated just to please him. I didn't want to "remind" him of the shop because I thought if it was important to him he would have remembered, why should I have to keep telling him. I suggested it and he knew how excited I was . Now I feel down and a bit cheated. Aibu? Would you have felt the same?

OP posts:
RandomDent · 25/02/2017 21:23
Klaphat · 25/02/2017 21:27

but as long as she's not judging OP for it or suggesting she shouldn't do it - fine. I've re-read it though and I still get the same vibe from it that I got first time.

Of course she can judge if she wants, and suggest that no-one should do it. What she didn't say was that anyone's choice to do so or not should be taken away from them. Do you not understand the difference, or are you just pretending?

sonyaya · 25/02/2017 21:38

klaphat

I read "we need to change it" (or words to the effect) as suggesting that people should not do it. How did you read that comment if not suggesting OP (and others) should stop dressing as maids? OP continuing to dress as a maid, and it "changing" are mutually exclusive. Because if she keeps doing it, it won't change.

I won't put a patronising comment here akin to yours about your ability to understand; if you want to be rude - fine. If you read it differently - fine. If I am the one reading it wrongly - fine. I'm just genuinely sorry that in 2017 a woman can't express her sexual preferences without being mocked and called 'pathetic' by other women.

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 25/02/2017 21:42

Thank you Random.

MarvelMummy13 · 25/02/2017 21:49

okay OP so I can completely understand why you were disappointed but in his defence men forget things its just how they are . Sometimes its best to just say it bluntly I can't count how many times i've hinted and hinted and in the end thought screw this and just said it.
But also it's his birthday. I don't really agree that you should be upset with him because you did say if he really wanted to he would've remembered so maybe he didn't want to. Its his birthday . You said he had a really good day and was happy but now because you didn't get what you wanted I can understand you're upset but I just don't agree you should be upset with him. I also think you seem a little upset you spent all your wages on him ..it appears resentful in a way ..this is just how its read I apologise if i have mis-read I gave my wages and my time for him today doing something I hated just to please him
The difficulties in the bedroom may be a reason he feels he doesn't want to have you tried speaking to him about this. i hope you have a lovely evening despite it all =]

randomer · 25/02/2017 21:51

must say I am partial to a telescopic brush meself

Nofunkingworriesmate · 25/02/2017 22:30

I've just suggested costumes to OH
We're gonna have a go...
I have an Amazon voucher
Any suggestions...
I've just seen a banana costume...

SaucyJack · 25/02/2017 22:42

I think you'd have to go a long way to find something more alluring than this funking.

I've got a wide on just looking at it.

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 25/02/2017 22:57

He's a fella..might not have been listening at the essential moment

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 25/02/2017 22:58

Men communicate overtly..women don't ;)

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 23:04
Hmm
elQuintoConyo · 25/02/2017 23:10
Klaphat · 25/02/2017 23:11

I read "we need to change it" (or words to the effect) as suggesting that people should not do it. How did you read that comment if not suggesting OP (and others) should stop dressing as maids? OP continuing to dress as a maid, and it "changing" are mutually exclusive. Because if she keeps doing it, it won't change.

No shit. She still doesn't say anything about removing anyone's choice.

elQuintoConyo · 25/02/2017 23:11

Singing Match of the Day in his head Zaphod ?

haveacupoftea · 25/02/2017 23:14

Presumably he doesn't need costumes to get into the mood for sex with you. Which is a good thing. Not everyone is into that kind of thing.

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 25/02/2017 23:36

Elquintoconyo - sadly some blokes actually like that shit, not sure if they sing it to theirselves tho, maybe unconsciously

MenopausalSpice · 26/02/2017 00:43

My pc has just gone kaput so catching up on my phone which is smarter than me. 'we have to change it' means changing the way we women think about ourselves. That will change our behaviour. Do whatever blows your skirt up for thrills. Dress up as a servant and let the boss have his way with you. It's not my idea of fun and certainly not the way forward for womankind. If it turns you on,fine. If it turns him on, again, go ahead. But it's all kinds of wrong and I hope that in the future it will change.

Valentine2 · 26/02/2017 01:32

"Gladiator costume"!!
Shock I can't stand Russel Crow and DH lovvvvves THAT movie. I would much rather commit his murder than actually having sex with him. It reminds me of someone dying brutally and that is essentially a turnoff.iam sure DH would love this idea though. Grin

spice
I don't think that the point you raised has anything to do with feminism. It's basic humanity.

OP
Hope you two had a lovely evening too.

MenopausalSpice · 26/02/2017 02:00

Valentine - maybe. But I've never seen a big hairy bloke dressed up as a French maid. Some may differ.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/02/2017 02:02

Does that help?

He forgot
MenopausalSpice · 26/02/2017 02:24

You just woke my husband up. I couldn't hold the hoot of laughter in. He was even less impressed when I tempted him to look at a picture of a French maid. Oh dear. I suppose I should put the phone down now.

atheistmantis · 26/02/2017 03:57

After reading this thread I had this weird mental image of two people on full-on clown costumes trying to have sex whilst wearing giant clown shoes.

Are the giant sized clown shoes so their partner thinks that they might be spectacularly endowed?

GeezAJammyPeece · 26/02/2017 04:19

Luckily I learnt, very early on in our relationship, to make sure that anything remotely deviant goes in his side of the wardrobe. A decision which proved it's worth when his mother insisted on washing, ironing & putting away laundry whilst both grannies were looking after kiddos. My (rather more sensible) mum tried to point out that it probably wasn't a good idea to root about our bedroom.... She didn't do it again Shock Wink Grin

RandomDent · 26/02/2017 08:46

Gladiator, you say?

He forgot
atheistmantis · 26/02/2017 08:59

Does he say, I'm Spartacus ?

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