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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He forgot

157 replies

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:09

So, me and my DP have been having some difficulties in the bedroom recently, however he's now been put on medication and things are going great BlushGrin
So, it was his birthday this week and today I took him to one of his favourite places, payed for VIP treatment etc. Cost me my weeks wages nearly but never mind! Well on the way there we decided (thus being my suggestion by the way) that on our return we would stop by at the local fancy dress shop and pick up some costumes for tonight ;).
Cutting long story short, DP loved his day out and was beaming from ear to ear at the end. So anyway afterwards we get into the car and begin driving home (me feeling all excited about costumes) when DP says to me, "great day babe are we ready to go home?" to which I replied "Oh, isn't there anywhere else we need to go?" the answer, "No, don't think so," and drove us all the way home.
So now I feel really annoyed. I gave my wages and my time for him today doing something I hated just to please him. I didn't want to "remind" him of the shop because I thought if it was important to him he would have remembered, why should I have to keep telling him. I suggested it and he knew how excited I was . Now I feel down and a bit cheated. Aibu? Would you have felt the same?

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ollieplimsoles · 25/02/2017 17:26

Sorry op but you are being massively unreasonable..

Why the hell didn't you just remind him? It might have slipped his mind as he was really happy about the fun day he's had?

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 17:26

In the nicest way possible YABU.

You have nobody to blame but yourself for not reminding him and as for now resenting that you spent money on him, get over it.

Klaphat · 25/02/2017 17:27

Didn't expect sex as part of the birthday treat. Just would have been nice if he'd have thought of me like I did him.

Thinking of you in a reciprocal manner would be spending time and money doing something you love on your birthday. A healthy attitude to sex doesn't involve doing your partner sexual favours because they did something nice for you outside of the bedroom.

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:27

I know. I just wanted to treat us because things have been going so badly. Never would I treat him to something just to get sex out of him. I love him and have supported him thru our difficult patch. I guess I just planned something in my head and built it up. I should have gently reminded him.

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user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:30

The money isn't important I just don't earn much. I'd give him everything I could. I just got excited about doing something different in bed and it all blew out of proportion. I was childish I admit and wont do it again.

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NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 25/02/2017 17:31

It sounds like he was excited and forgot, even more so since you say he is generally forgetful.

It does seem a little odd not to have mentioned it when he asked if there was anywhere else you needed to go.

Maybe you can both go another day and buy them?

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:33

Yes we can :)

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happypoobum · 25/02/2017 17:34

Is it possible he just really didn't fancy the idea of dressing up and didn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings?

Surely you could have had sex without the costumes?

Skatingonthinice16 · 25/02/2017 17:35

Grim.
Who knew people hired fancy dress from regular fancy dress shops for sex????

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:36

Of course we can but we both agreed we would like to dress up for something different. We've never done it before so..wanted to try. I should have reminded him. I was stupid not to. But never mind there's always another day.

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ClashCityRocker · 25/02/2017 17:38

Hang on, fancy dress shop?!

Please tell me people don't hire costumes from a fancy dress shop and have sex in them. I mean, I'm sure they got washed between uses, but it honestly never occurred to me...I thought they were for parties and the like.

ollieplimsoles · 25/02/2017 17:38

skating i was thinking this Hmm

Klaphat · 25/02/2017 17:39

Who knew people hired fancy dress from regular fancy dress shops for sex????

Last time I went into a joke shop it was at least 50% crude 'sexy' tat, to be fair. And when I had to buy fancy dress for an event at a mainstream fancy dress shop a couple of years ago, at least 70% of the female costumes were the sexualised version of whatever they were supposed to be, being modelled by women made up and pouting in a way that left no doubt as to the target market...

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:39

We was going to buy them not hire them :)

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Emmageddon · 25/02/2017 17:39

What time does the Fancy Dress shop close? It's not 6 o'clock yet. Can't just say 'hey, we forgot to pick up the costumes!' and nip out quickly and get them?

ClashCityRocker · 25/02/2017 17:40

Ah that's ok then. I wouldn't want my favourite storm trooper outfit to have been used during a sex session, birthday or not.

Last minute nerves maybe?

Klaphat · 25/02/2017 17:41

Ah crap. I should point out that I was browsing the latter shop online. There weren't actual women made up and pouting at me in costumes in the physical shop. What a horrifying thought.

harderandharder2breathe · 25/02/2017 17:42

Yabu and pa

He was excited about his birthday treat and forgot something he'd agreed to earlier. You should've reminded him at that point. He might've still been keen or he might've been all "oh I'm really tired let's not bother tonight" which would've told you how he felt about it.

ClashCityRocker · 25/02/2017 17:43

To be fair, it is hard work trying to find a feminine fancy dress costume that doesn't make you look like you're a stripper.

An Alice in Wonderland costume should never be described as 'sexy'.

Charley50 · 25/02/2017 17:44

Please tell what costumes they were? For some strange reason I've got Shrek in my head!

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:45

Yeah, me and hubby chatted about it and he said he totally forgot and tht he really wanted to. He does always forget things and I find that hard cuz sometimes the relationship cn feel one-sided. But I'm not in a huff with him, I love him. I told him I was bu :)

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ExitStage · 25/02/2017 17:45

What were you going to dress up as? Purely out of interest!

Ecclesiastes · 25/02/2017 17:46

For some strange reason I've got Shrek in my head!

Funnily enough, my first thought was Winnie the Pooh.

BlueFolly · 25/02/2017 17:47

Pirates and wenches!

user1485471386 · 25/02/2017 17:47

Shrek having sex with winne pooh...wow you guys are crazy ;) he wanted me to be a maid Blush

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