Is DS being excluded because of his disability ?

[youcantgettome]

I hope not.

So my DS has language difficulties and Autism. He is 7. I joined him into our local football training, I was a bit apprehensive because DS hasn't played football ! (Has an odd kick of the ball) and I didn't know how the team would take to him. But anyway I went along with it.

To my surprise, when I took DS to football, he was engaged in the game. He was playing around, kicking the ball or tying to get hold of the ball to kick it. Though, when the coach was giving out instructions he found it hard to follow, didn't really join in the warm-up as he has slow language processing...so when the coach was shouting at exercises.. DS would process the information and do the instruction but the coach and the others kids have moved on to the next exercises instruction. Ifyswim.

But other than that, I was amazed how DS did in the match...he was throwing the ball appropriately, kicking it, stopping when the players stop it. I was proud as before he would of found these difficult.

But after the session, the coach told me that maybe it would be better for DS to go to a specialist football team (there's hardly any) as its due to his understanding of language or processing of language is slow. Also, he cannot provide the attention DS needs and he has to attend to all the other kids.

I do understand but I felt a bit deflated. DS in my eyes, did excellent as he has never played footie ever ! Plus his social skills difficulties etc... he seemed he did ok. But I don't know, should we look elsewhere ? Should I give up on DS doing football ? I told a friend this and she was shocked and thinks DS was excluded because of his disability ? But I've heard that football is quite competitive so the coaches naturally are ?? Idk.

What do you mumsnetters think ?

Who is supposed j to provide this extra support especially given many children's coaches are volunteers

confident... thanks ! Did your DS have ASD too ? And how is he now like at his football club ?

*Today 20:37 LouKout

It appears that all these coaches who hold their hands up and say they couldnt cope legally should be providing support so he could be included

Absolutely, it matter not one jot whether they are volunteers or not, it doesn't give them carte blanch to prevent them joining in and having a game of football.
Stop pandering to the idiot parents who think that their little treasure is the next David Beckham.

Unfortunately these coaches and the other boys of his age take all this football coaching and football team stuff very seriously and are very competitive. When they get to about 8 it stops being fun and becomes 'sport'.

You've only to watch the parents on the sidelines of these kids matches to see it's not just kicking a ball around anymore.

I think the coach would be just as ruthless with a child with poor coordination and two left feet.

I'd look for something more inclusive but with a good skill level so DS can continue to progress skill wise. Also with friendlier, nicer people who don't believe the only important thing is winning in a sport with a poor record of inclusion

You - he didn't. Just a ridiculously competitive environment. I'd phone round a few clubs near you. I did and his current club are so inclusive - DD attends occasional sessions and I've even trained with them.

i think the coach would be just as ruthless with a child with poor coordination and two left feet.

Not protected characteristics though

I'm pretty sure (as pp say) junior football is not meant to be selective/competitive until 11. They should also have an inclusion policy although I was disappointed when I just looked up the policy for youth teams in our area that it talks about equal treatment not equal opportunity - this isn't consistent with the Equalities Act 2010 which allows for preferential treatment to enable equality of participation.

i.e. for those saying it wouldn't be fair on the rest of the team - that's not the point of equality. And being a volunteer has absolutely nothing to do with it. You don't volunteer on the basis that you will only have neurotypical children without any additional needs on your team - that would be extremely discriminatory.

Yes, your son is being discriminated against. I would follow the suggestion of writing to the Club Welfare Officer in the first instance. Ask about their inclusion policy, etc.

You might also offer to work with the coach to ensure your son's inclusion.
Under the Equalities Act they need to make reasonable adjustments. They may argue that the adjustments your son needs aren't reasonable, so you may need to thrash that out.

Or you could find a more welcoming club. But only if that's what you want to do.

I think people are being a bit unfair on the coach. He's a volunteer with no experience of DCs with special needs. He feels he cannot adequately manage the DC as well as the others and the mum says she understands.

What do people expect him to do? Magic up skills from nowhere or summon up a 1 to 1 volunteer?

It's a very sad situation but practically there isn't anything the poor chap can do.

Its not easy to be inclusive..that's why legislation is needed.

You don't volunteer on the basis that you will only have neurotypical children without any additional needs on your team - that would be extremely discriminatory

This

Watery. If the club cannot be inclusive then it doesn't operate. If it's selective, then that is fine. If it isn't selective but excludes disabled children then it's discrimination and it's illegal

I a absolutely

Lou - if you'd like to provide me more help I would love it! But you can't force people to volunteer so it's simply not as easy as "get more help".

I wouldn't immediately state "no children with additional needs" BUT if a child came with additional needs that put other children at risk I would have no option to ask them not to come.

Why should i provide the help?

People pointing out he is a volunteer, this doesn't mean he can just ignore equal opportunities.
I'm a cub leader, we include everyone. We've had kids with all sorts of SEN, colostomy bags, awful allergies, wheelchairs etc. Everyone is accepted. If we feel we can't cope, we get mum or dad to attend a few sessions to help us understand how to help these kids.
There is no excuse!
And don't get me started on why parents had to be banned from the scout football event...
OP my heart breaks for you and your son. They obviously were too caught up in themselves to help. I hope you find a team that is perfect for you.

Oops - bit trigger happy there.

I am absolutely appalled by the disablism on this thread. But sadly not surprised.

People are very pro inclusion as long as it doesn't affect their own children but - especially when it comes to team sports - they are right behind it. They don't want the kid with ASD/neurological conditions fucking things up for their NT kids.

We should call it where we see it.

So it has to close down?

And no answers to my questions. How does an unqualified coach learn how to deal with disabilities? Where will the necessary extra supervision come from?

The world is not perfect but we don't make it any better by closing down volunteer led groups.

I think some people are ignoring the word ' reasonable' I'm reasonable adjustment!

competitive sports are about winning!

So reasonable equals "none"?

That's my point Lou. I can't magic another volunteer out of thin air.

I'd be - genuinely - interested in suggestions.

in some cases it will .yes.

And You, I'm so sorry this has happened. I apologise if you feel I've been disablist. I'm learning and trying hard to recognise when I rely on lazy stereotyping. My suggestion to find a new club is solely based on the fact I think your DS will not be allowed to thrive where he is. He has every right to be there. If that's where you want him to be then I think we need to advise you to fight the bit out with them.

could your D's join a younger age group?