Is DS being excluded because of his disability ?

[youcantgettome]

I hope not.

So my DS has language difficulties and Autism. He is 7. I joined him into our local football training, I was a bit apprehensive because DS hasn't played football ! (Has an odd kick of the ball) and I didn't know how the team would take to him. But anyway I went along with it.

To my surprise, when I took DS to football, he was engaged in the game. He was playing around, kicking the ball or tying to get hold of the ball to kick it. Though, when the coach was giving out instructions he found it hard to follow, didn't really join in the warm-up as he has slow language processing...so when the coach was shouting at exercises.. DS would process the information and do the instruction but the coach and the others kids have moved on to the next exercises instruction. Ifyswim.

But other than that, I was amazed how DS did in the match...he was throwing the ball appropriately, kicking it, stopping when the players stop it. I was proud as before he would of found these difficult.

But after the session, the coach told me that maybe it would be better for DS to go to a specialist football team (there's hardly any) as its due to his understanding of language or processing of language is slow. Also, he cannot provide the attention DS needs and he has to attend to all the other kids.

I do understand but I felt a bit deflated. DS in my eyes, did excellent as he has never played footie ever ! Plus his social skills difficulties etc... he seemed he did ok. But I don't know, should we look elsewhere ? Should I give up on DS doing football ? I told a friend this and she was shocked and thinks DS was excluded because of his disability ? But I've heard that football is quite competitive so the coaches naturally are ?? Idk.

What do you mumsnetters think ?

I am not diablist. I am a paid coach. If I could acceptca child with a disability without causing risk to them or others , or watering down the quality of training for the others , then yes of course I would accept them. That is what I have said all along.how is that disablist?

I haven't RTFT sorry but I mainly think 2 things :

1. The coach should've given him a few more sessions to see how he got on. For one thing they'll likely do a lot of the same training activities every week - maybe he'd find it easier to keep up if he knew what to expect?
2. He's better off not in a team like that anyways:

Ds plays every weekend and trains 3 times a week - he loves it which is why he does it but tbh it is the Bain of my life. The commitment is huge and the amount of stress involved from some parents who think it's ok to berate a child because they made a silly mistake is astounding.

Angel that is not what you've said all along, in any way. In fact in most of your posts you've implied that kids with SN shouldn't mix with NT kids because it spoils their fun.
I knew someone one who started sentences with "I'm not racist but....." it didn't stop the racist bile they spewed any less racist, it just meant they were in denial.

Yes it is indeed Cosy

angel it's sad you cannot be inclusive, but hey ho at least other clubs are and they do give those with disabilities a chance, it can absolutely work as can be seen by examples on here. There would be no awsome Paralympic team, with attitudes like Angel. Thank goodness times have moved on and most activities are inclusive.

Exactly soar, it's good that some clubs are inclusive. Football is for everyone, not just the non disabled, there is a club out there for op son. I wonder if there are any clubs that are lottery funded, they have to be inclusive. You can find out from the sports council. Another door closes, another door opens I say.

Aero Why do you think there is a separate Paralympic teams to the able bodied (is that the right term?) teams?

Cosy because at the level Paralympians and Olympians are competing at, it isn't possible for them to compete together.
We're talking about football training, not the Champions League Final!

Aero I'm sure there is a club for OPs son, and I hope they find it soon. Coming up against negative comments and attitudes is very disheartening, and a terrible shame in the meantime though.
OP I hope you find a club who are inclusive and open minded for your son to enjoy his football.

Separate kids out young because of the Paralympics? Have heard it all now.

I agree with soar, we are talking about young child's football, not Olympic standards! I think the op should contact the local council, or her local leisure centre and find out. See if her son can join an U7 team, as they will be beginners. There are ways round it, its not all or nothing. See if any of the big clubs have a disability team, as I said our football cub does.

because at the level Paralympians and Olympians are competing at, it isn't possible for them to compete together. Exactly.

It is sad, but its the reality of us parents who have to come up against this. I was telephoning around dance schools, and the negative attitude, What's Autism, oooh I don't think we can accommodate her! But we found a mainstream one that does, and was really flexible and relaxed! There are clubs out there that will be open and inclusive, some are, some aren't.

Mabey contact the FA and see if there are any disability teams in your area.

There is a two page article in yesterday's English Football League Final Programme about inclusion in football. You should look at the EDL Trust. Their website is efltrust.com.
Is Jack Rutter on twitter? He's the paralympic football captain. He may be able to support you OP.

No screaming here.

It's hard for people to accept their views are disablist though.

Much easier to say we are all "PC gorn mad" etc.

I help run a fully inclusive group for kids.
But don't let that stop your assumptions eh?

I'm out.
OP
You son will find the right team for him. One where he will flourish. Those links look very promising, good luck.

Mabey local football clubs could apply for funding lottery, FA to help them become more inclusive, so they have the resources to get coaches that are FA1 trained and have experience of children with special needs, instead of relying on volunteers who are mostly parents, and who may not have the experience of SN.

No-one is having a go at people who run fully inclusive groups. Similarly, I think everyone on this thread would accept that if the safety of the group is genuinely put at risk after all reasonable adjustments have been made, then an alternative needs to be found.

What people are concerned about is the attitude that:
a) volunteers should only be expected to accommodate children without SEND - clubs are required by law to be inclusive: if they are not, they are operating outside the law.

b) children with SEND automatically raise a safety concern and that reasonable adjustments do not need to be made to try to offset any genuine safety concern
c) it would be unreasonable for the coach to spend more time with a child with SEND than the rest of the team - the law is very clear that "preferential" treatment to allow equality of access is permitted.

This isn't a matter of opinion, it's the law. To act on those attitudes is discriminatory, by law.

As another point, if I'm reading it right, the paralympics association does not consider "intellectual impairment" [their term] as a qualifying impairment for football. I.e. they hold the view that this type of SEN shouldn't hold a person back from competing in a mainstream rather than paralympic event. www.paralympic.org/sites/default/files/document/150915170806821_2015_09_15%2BExplanatory%2Bguide%2BClassification_summer%2BFINAL%2B_5.pdf

"Mabey local football clubs could apply for funding lottery, FA to help them become more inclusive" - they have an obligation to be inclusive, it's not an add-on for which they should apply for lottery funding. People with SEND aren't a nice to have, if you have extra money for it after you've resourced everything else. A club needs to plan to be inclusive as part of its whole approach.

oh do you really Bill. How interesting.

that makes it strange IMO that you are defending that poster, but there's nowt stranger than folk. Did you read their posts? Or just leap in?

Nobody was having a go at inclusive clubs, quite the opposite in fact.

yes. The poster was advocating exclusion firmly.

I would never, ever have a go at someone who included my kids, or if they couldn't, had tried their best and realised it wasn't possible. That's inclusion.
Exclusion and denigrating kids with SN is what I despise. Especially when it's dressed up as trying to help or trying to be right on.

I agree T1, unfortunately some don't even want to try, like angel. If they have tried, and that particular child's needs is greater than they can manage, than fair enough. But having a blanket ban if SN in your club, is very dangerous and your treading on very thin ice. I have a child with SN and know all too well.