Is DS being excluded because of his disability ?

[youcantgettome]

I hope not.

So my DS has language difficulties and Autism. He is 7. I joined him into our local football training, I was a bit apprehensive because DS hasn't played football ! (Has an odd kick of the ball) and I didn't know how the team would take to him. But anyway I went along with it.

To my surprise, when I took DS to football, he was engaged in the game. He was playing around, kicking the ball or tying to get hold of the ball to kick it. Though, when the coach was giving out instructions he found it hard to follow, didn't really join in the warm-up as he has slow language processing...so when the coach was shouting at exercises.. DS would process the information and do the instruction but the coach and the others kids have moved on to the next exercises instruction. Ifyswim.

But other than that, I was amazed how DS did in the match...he was throwing the ball appropriately, kicking it, stopping when the players stop it. I was proud as before he would of found these difficult.

But after the session, the coach told me that maybe it would be better for DS to go to a specialist football team (there's hardly any) as its due to his understanding of language or processing of language is slow. Also, he cannot provide the attention DS needs and he has to attend to all the other kids.

I do understand but I felt a bit deflated. DS in my eyes, did excellent as he has never played footie ever ! Plus his social skills difficulties etc... he seemed he did ok. But I don't know, should we look elsewhere ? Should I give up on DS doing football ? I told a friend this and she was shocked and thinks DS was excluded because of his disability ? But I've heard that football is quite competitive so the coaches naturally are ?? Idk.

What do you mumsnetters think ?

The OPs son has never played football before and struggled to follow instruction.."the coach was giving out instructions he found it hard to follow, didn't really join in the warm-up as he has slow language processing" The coach admitted he couldn't meet his needs

After one Session? Ridiculous. God, the attitudes to disabled people on this post are repugnant.

op I was somehow missing your responses to me, you'd already said you were in London when I asked if you were in Suffolk, my apologies!

Son is going into his 5th year of football, it's competitive this year, now he's under 12. He got man of the match just last week. He has to work 20 times harder than other children to follow instructions, process information and keep focussed. But it's made him lifelong friends. They just "get" him and he's never had issues from kids on other teams either.

PegaGryf your post gives me hope. Thank you and well done to your son on being man of the match!

I agree Pega, hopefully there will be a team out there like that for op son. Yes well done on your ds being Man of the Match. Just proves that given a chance, children with disabilities can do it, it might take them longer, but they can.

for op www.findafootballteam.info/teamlist/?q=1&p=35&m=3-London

Aero sorry I just saw your previous reply. You're right, it can and does work. When people stop being closed minded and bigoted, wonderful things happen.

And why people keep repeatedly saying that the clubs will close down if they comply with equality legislation is mystifying

This won't happen because if complying with a SN is such that it causes the club to fold, then it is clearly not a reasonable adjustment

Thanks aero and saor, he was beyond chuffed

PegaGryf man of the match is a big honour, proof that with the right coach and the right team the sky is the limit

Wow, lots of untrue accusations being thrown around, especially after some really sensitive posts by volunteer coaches. What a shame.

Sorry, my last comment didn't give your DS the credit he deserves for working so hard to earn man of the match.

angel you're clearly just here for an argument, I cannot actually believe that anyone would be bigoted enough to say the things you've said in all seriousness.

Jacques - full contact rugby is an entirely different ball game. Literally.

cosy seriously ? Urgh! I'm so glad I spend my time around people who are positive. Defeatist people get me down.

at least we don't inconvenience 'normal' families and their previous NT little darlings.

I assume you mean precious little darlings. What a horrible way to speak about children.

Yes I agree. There was a post yesterday from the mum of a SN child calling NT children 'little turds'. No one called her on it. No, not a level playing field at all.

If I'd seen it I would have challenged it, because it's not ok to refer to kids like that. However, the general attitudes around people speaking about kids with SN is a lot worse and a lot more common. But you carry on with your little crusade.

Seconding Saor.
Recognise your privilege.

Cosy i cant take you seriously after that level playing field comment.

How ridiculous.

Bishop that's a really good way of putting it.

FGS because people don't agree with you, you name call them bigots and goady?

Your posts are disablist, rude and ignorant.

I think some words are bandied about too freely these days.
You don't agree with what I say? You are ignorant! Bigot! Rude! Etc.
That'll learn them eh?
That just creates a divide. Divides don't achieve anything at all. People need to be on board. By screaming insults, all you do is reinforce the "them and us" mentality.
Give it a rest.

So let me get this straight, people get to say bigoted and exclusionary things (attitudes which make life harder for my sons and everyone else with a disability) and I am supposed to nod and smile and say "aren't they lovely?" Fuck that.
Here's a plan if you don't want people to call you disablist. Don't be disablist. It really is that simple.

No screaming here.

It's hard for people to accept their views are disablist though.

Much easier to say we are all "PC gorn mad" etc.

No thats your view Lou