To ask friend to childproof her house

[Jakarty]

Best friend is 30. Never married, no kids ando lives on her own. Her flat is absolutely gorgeous- beautiful furniture, fancy candles, ornaments, lamps.

Problem: I pop over about once a week (she also comes to mine) with 2.5yo DD. DD naturally goes to pick up items out on display. DF never gets annoyed or tells her off but I can feel her tensing whenever DD touches a candle or ornament and I feel constantly on edge in case she breaks something! Plus there is also the choking hazard which I don't think she has considered. Also she had one of those adult colouring books which DD spotted the other day and wanted to use. Friend said no as it's 'for adults ' and DD had a massive tantrum! She can't understand why a colouring book is not for her.

I was thinking that I could ask her if she can just put all these things away if we are coming over so that a) her things don't get ruined and b) DD is safe and happy and I can relax with my coffee. Is that U? It's only for a few hours once a week.
Friend is lovely in other ways, not usually inconsiderate

What a surprise just one post from the op.

I'm in awe of all these people with such precociously developed 2.5 year olds, that always obey when told not to touch something.

I mean, mine are good, but still, impulse control hasn't fully developed yet, so I wouldn't want to trust them too far (remembers coming into MIL's living room to find him snuggled up with a wooden penguin he must have scaled his grandfather's chair and desk to get.. or that time we found him in the dining room next to the box of Krispie Kreme doughnuts we'd got for a party the next day, each with small boy finger hole in them so he could taste what was in the middle)

'I'd make as easy as possible for my guests with toddlers, if I wanted them to have a nice time in my home.'

Therein lies the secret. Don't make it easy, then they won't come back with the pesky toddler. Win-win! It's too bad your 'friend' with toddler hasn't taken the hint, OP. But there you go, just start making excuses when she's due for her weekly coffee.

'I never would have at that age when never married. grin'

I wouldn't now and I'm in my mid-40s, married and have three children.

Don't make it easy, then they won't come back with the pesky toddler

Rookie mistake.

YANBU. I'd just explain to friend that dd will want to pull at everything so, if she has things she wants undamaged, just put them up on the mantelpiece or something for the duration of your visits. Prior to dc I wouldn't have had a clue how many things they can get their grubby hands on but post dc I now pre-empt all paw attacks and swipe things from out of her reach. When leaving, I would put things back in their previous places though.

Oh please.

I second (third?) that it's an awful age - I hardly left the house when my lot were toddling. A couple of them wouldn't touch, one would touch but only when nobody was looking and then deny all knowledge, one didn't care about being told not to touch and would damn well touch everything all the time...it was exhausting.

And my MIL, when my first was just crawling and they looked after him while I went back to work, was discovered to keep open bottles of bleach on the bathroom floor, and he would 'just have to learn not to touch'. At six months old... how he's still got a gullet, I'm not sure.

yeah ok i'll just chidlproof my own house for someone who comes round every week for a couple of hours-not

my house-your child

She's not being inconsiderate, it's her house and she has it how she likes it. It's very rude to ask her to make it childproof for when you visit, children have to learn that they can't touch everything and that not everything is for them .

Poor parenting if your non-sen 2.5 year old doesn't listen to your instructions. YABVU

If it is only for a few hours a week, can you meet elsewhere.

You mean she's 30 never had kids or married? How has she lived
Yabu.
It's her house, not yours.
Take things with you to occupy your child, or meet your friend elsewhere for a while till your child is older.
Your friend is NOT inconsiderate, at all.

I'm in awe of all these people with such precociously developed 2.5 year olds, that always obey when told not to touch something.

Most probably don't always obey but you have to watch them closely and keep telling them until you can trust them not to touch things in other people's houses. It's HARD WORK but otherwise you end up with a 3/4/5 year old who goes into other people's houses picking up ornaments, etc.

I'm in awe of all these people with such precociously developed 2.5 year olds, that always obey when told not to touch something.

I taught my dd not to touch certain things from when she started moving around (tiny living room has kitchen in it so had to be on the ball with oven etc). It was hard work as littledinaco said but from around 20 months if I said don't touch, she wouldn't. She's 2.5 now and still if I say no she won't touch! It's called parenting!

Dc1 would have not gone within 3 feet of the line in case she accidently went over it
Dc2 would have gone and stood on the line to see why it was so interesting.
Dc3 would have sprinted to see how far over the line they could get before they were stopped.

Clearly that's just evidence of the declining quality of your parenting witchend

Seriously though - it bugs me when people give it the smug "oh I taught my DC to X, Y, Z". Sure, parenting is very important but the temperament of the child is a big factor too.

Oh God. I've tried so hard not to fall into the PFB trap. Looks like one haside fallen through the net.
I just caught myself about to type 'but DD gets so upset if she can't play with what she wants' gah!

I actually have mentioned to my friend about her ornaments/candles. She just laughed and said she knocks things over all the time. There's nothing overtly dangerous around, just nice stuff and if I take something off DD she moves it.

I fully accept I am being U. No way should I have called DF inconsiderate. She does loads for me and my family
DD crying stropping won't hurt her.

I do bring a couple of toys when I'm out but I love the idea of a little play pack. Mum used to do them for long car journeys as kids.

Thanks for the reality check guys. I'm off to drip baby shampoo in my eyes or something

Well done for taking it well and recognising you were being unreasonable.

Good for you.

good for you op-you sound nice im sure people inadvertently fall intothe pfb trap at some point!

What are great way to take the thread! We'll keep you!

OP!! for you!

OP most of us have fallen into the PFB trap at some point I wrote instructions for my mum the first time she has DS1 as a baby but fair play to you taking it on the chin. A wee play pack is a great idea, keeps the wee one happy so you can have a coffee and a chat.

Thanks.
I've read so many threads on here over the years about PFP twits. I swore that wouldn't be me.
Ooops

We've all got one. :) I have many. I once told off a lorry driver for leaving his engine running. Did you know there was a chance the handbrake would fail and the lorry might mount the pavement during the six seconds I was passing with the pram? :o