AIBU to think that flexible, family-friendly jobs do not exist.

[MothersRuinart]

A job where you don't get penalised for having to stay home with a sick child, either by having to use annual leave or take unpaid leave. A job where you can leave earlier or start later at a short notice and be able to work up the lost hours another time. A job that would allow you to work from home regularly and/or often and/or at short notice. A company or a work environment that doesn't resent you for having to miss workdays due to childcare issues. Where you're not overlooked for a promotion because you're a parent.

I've never worked for a company like that, neither have any of my friends as far as I know. Tbf, most problems would be solved if more companies allowed their staff to work from home more often or were more flexible with their hours.

I understand that there are jobs where flexibility is not an option but I think most jobs could be much more flexible than they are now.

They do exist but, as others have said, this usually comes from being known and trusted and that you won't take the piss. I have a great deal of flexibility in my role but make no mistake, my work has to be done. I can work at home at a drop of a hat but my work still needs to be completed.

I am amazed anyone would get paid leave to look after an ill child. My previous employer would let me make up the hours later and work from home for a sick child (any my husbands employer does this now) but we literally had to do conference calls, respond to emails and show the boss the reports etc you had written. The worst are companies which make a big point of not paying you when your child is sick but then call you at home all the time and ask to to do reports at home anyway guilt you into making up the hours (my current employer -so now DP does all the sick)

I'm fairly flexible in my job but I don't have kids yet. Pg currently with no 1 though.

If I need to I can work from home which has been useful in the past if I've not been feeling great. I can rest but also wfh. At present as long as I give at least a days notice and it won't affect the team too much I can wfh when I choose.

Once baby arrives though I am thinking about maybe formalising my wfh days. Which will probably be easier for work and me. I'm prepared to be flex though with it.

Ultimately flex working has to work for both employer and employee.

As a PP said - self employed.
I am a SE contractor and mostly choose when to work. Pretty well paid but only get paid when I do work
In some ways being SE is more stressful with regards to finding the contracts etc but I have no childcare stress so it's worth it.
Very much doubt if I could be employed now

My job is exactly as you describe. I work for a very progressive digital business.

Same here, despite the industry I belong to being overwhelmingly male dominated (only 6% of developers are women). We've even had some of the kids sitting quietly in the office drawing on days when there's been short notice school closures.

Maternity pay is only SMP though. :(

I work for a local authority. I have flexi time so can come and go largely as I please as long as my hours are completed by the end of the week, any excess I can take as flexi days etc. I can also use flexi to care for the kids if they're sick but if there's not sufficient my manager has been known to throw a sickie for me - and I get paid for it, although I appreciate not every manager at every local authority would do this.

I've also just had a promotion that let's me work 9-3 and I'll still be paid more than I was for working 8.30-5 previously.

I am a procurement manager in a large telecoms firm and have all the flexibility you describe OP. Combination of very family friendly and flexible ethos throughout the whole company, and a great understanding boss who has children herself. I am a home worker which is great from a work life balance point of view, but it can be a little isolating. I have to travel a fair bit for meetings etc but I normally get a lot of say in planning them. I do realise how lucky I am to have all this, and can't see me looking to change jobs for a long time (even though I don't particularly love the job itself)

I have this but I've gained it by giving up a lot of money. Last year I was earning a good 6 figures, but having to show up at the office where my boss was an arsehole and commuting at least 3 hours a day to do it.

I'm now earning a decent but not stellar 5 figure salary as the only tech person in a small company where everyone works from home, and as long as our apps are happy and our servers do the right thing, nobody minds what hours I work.

I gained 3 hours of my life back, have a dog, am far less stressed as the boss rather than the bossed, and probably not coincidentally was able to lose nearly 3 stone. Life is much better (just wish I contributed as much to the household as my husband does).

Emegency family leave is statutory . www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/your-rights

It doesn't have to be paid though, and I don't expect it to be, although it has been paid in all the companies I have worked for (and there have been many!).

With the exception of regular wfh (which I COULD probably get away with, but wouldn't be ideal), I have the above. I work FT, but can finish early if necessary, no problem leaving for sick child etc, (all presuming it doesn't clash with important meetings). I have stayed with my employer longer than I otherwise would have, as a result.

However, judging by the mix of parents at the rare times I'm at school pick up, it seems many people have a decent degree of flexibility.

My job is like this but it's because the company and my manager believe that so long as the job gets done and the business is supported then it doesn't matter how many hours are worked or where they are worked from.

I can work from home, start later or finish later if I need to. I'm on the PTA at school and twice a year the company lets me finish at lunchtime to go and set up the big events we run without having to take leave or make the time up.
It does work both ways, I earn a bit less here than I could elsewhere and I work until the job is finished. If that means logging on when I get home and doing extra then that is what I have to do.

It's tough. I work 4 days per week in an independent school so I have long holidays and some time off during the week which we hope coincides with sickness! It often has. Dh works full time but buys 10 days extra holiday from his company every year. He uses these to cover sickness or emergency and anything left over is a bonus.

Mostly the people who have this are self employed, which doesn't have the benefits of a job as you have no job security, sick pay etc.

I have one friend who 'has it all' in terms of work conditions and she loves her job. She's an academic who mostly researches. She works full time with young children - not long hours - and is doing incredibly well.

Other friends who have taken school hour jobs for the the hours and holidays have taken a massive pay cut and career step back. Personally I wouldn't be happy to do that but they are happy with the work life balance.

I work for a publisher with a generous leave entitlement and additional maternity pay, one of the reasons it's hard to even think of leaving! However I saw this page called Digital Mums as i was looking for sth like that. I haven't used them so can't recommend but it looks like if you already have the right skills they can match you with a business, and if you don't they can retrain you (for a fee but that's obvious if you're changing jobs and need to learn sth new).

Yes self employed. My eldest son is severely disabled so I need flexibility more than anything.

Although for the first time in 8 years my work has run out.

I'm looking at bank work (SN TA/carer) to top me up.

I've worked in the same company for 13 years and have found through working in different departments the flexibility and understanding depends on the managers. Some roles were easier to do at home but all could be done at home. Some mangers made it really hard and me feel guilty.. others accepted it and my current one encourages it for situations like school plays etc. I try not to abuse it and my husband covers somethings too.

I work like this - but only part time. My area of the business is a niche corner with only me employed so although there are other people working in the office, the workload relating to my job is mine and mine only. I can work my hours however I want - two long days, five mornings - what ever works for me and no one really checks up when I'm in. I just keep a note of what times I'm worked in case I was ever asked. I don't even have to work set days (though I do try to keep to a vague routine so people from outside the organisation know when they are likely to find me in the office).
The downside of this is always feeling that you're on call which is quite a responsibility for not much money. Having to check emails every day and keeping up with what is going on even if I hadn't planned to be in. The anxiety of wondering what would happen if I were ill and had to have time off - there's no one to divert emails to so it would all be waiting for me when I returned. Feeling quite separate from / overlooked by the organisation. Taking on a lot of unpaid overtime at busy times. Etc etc.
However, it's been great for me while the children are small. Even so, there are times when I would value the support of a more regular working environment, where I know where I am from week to week.

I have always worked since having the DC and agree with a lot of PP about building up trust etc
I think it is different in the public sector from what I can see from people I know who work there but in the private sector I don't think it is reasonable to expect to get paid if at home with a sick child
I do think it is a privilege not a right to have flexibility

It is possible but as others said if you're not self-employed often it's the result of being a long-standing employee who has built a level of trust and can be relied on to manage own workload around other priorities when required. I don't get time off for child sickness but as mine rarely are I work from home (they are at an age where they can be entertained by a tv for a day) or I take last minute holiday. I have found that flexibility is not a one way street and in return I work longer hours and travel frequently when needed to. It's an arrangement that works well and from an employers point of view I think it inspires much greater loyalty from an employee as I know it would be difficult to get the same arrangement elsewhere.

I work for a company like that, I work 25 hours flexibly, work at home mostly with a few meetings set within school hours. I sent a speculative email to the company with my cv, I don't think these kinds of jobs are advertised much. If you can write, set yourself up freelance, start with dull stuff like transcription, editing, proofreading and build it up from there. Write a blog about something you're passionate about and see where it takes you?

I've got my own company and my staff have very flexible working such as you describe. Only the office PA can't work at home because she has to answer the phone etc but everyone else can.

However you have to have give and take. Ive had one employee have time off for nativity plays and sports days but then refuse to help me out when I have to be out of the office for an emergency.

There you go OP, 70 posts, disproving your point.

My company are fabulous. I work party time and can do whatever hours I like, so long as the work is done. So if I want to go to my child's sports day, or on the very rare occasion that my child is sick, I can make up the time, or pop in during the evening, once dh gets home from work.

The line of work I'm in is a tech start up, IMHO it presents a great arrangement for both parties, they get experience and skills of a person but don't have to provide office space or a full time wage. Obviously it's a little risky in terms of job stability but you can help the company grow to be a success.