AIBU to think that flexible, family-friendly jobs do not exist.

[MothersRuinart]

A job where you don't get penalised for having to stay home with a sick child, either by having to use annual leave or take unpaid leave. A job where you can leave earlier or start later at a short notice and be able to work up the lost hours another time. A job that would allow you to work from home regularly and/or often and/or at short notice. A company or a work environment that doesn't resent you for having to miss workdays due to childcare issues. Where you're not overlooked for a promotion because you're a parent.

I've never worked for a company like that, neither have any of my friends as far as I know. Tbf, most problems would be solved if more companies allowed their staff to work from home more often or were more flexible with their hours.

I understand that there are jobs where flexibility is not an option but I think most jobs could be much more flexible than they are now.

[Puppymouse]

I work for a bank. I joined full time and found out I was pg very shortly after. Hideous pregnancy so didn't have the opportunity to create enough trust and credibility as I was so ill and signed off way before baby was born.

I was told part time was impossible for the job I do. Luckily for me I got a new manager who joined while I was on mat leave between me and my head of department who had recruited me who was sure we could make it work. Every day since I returned to work I have been thankful for that chance and as the years go by I have worked my arse off to earn that respect and get more flexibility which will stand me in good stead when DC starts school. I've also joined focus groups at work to help share how it's working to influence this on other teams.

I have to say I've never had to take a day off to look after DC when poorly - just been lucky with her so far and DH takes the hit more than me because he has 5 days to work every week and I only have 3. But I have to go to London regularly and sometimes respond to messages on my non-work days. The job I do is a city long hours type role and that's the compromise. I think it's possible to make it work but it's all about trust, ability to do your job well and the team around you I think.

[lostlalaloopsy]

I work for a charitable organisation and have this. It's very flexible due to having to cover various groups and functions. I try to do set days each week, but am able to make up hours whenever I can if necessary.

I have worked like this for years and can't imagine having to stick to a strict schedule.

[lostlalaloopsy]

I should also say that the management are fab, and have always been very understanding when it comes to children's health etc

[dementedma]

Hmm, I'm torn on this one and going to have to put my flame proof gear on and speak for employers here. I have 3 DC's and have worked full time, part time and self employed so am reasonably qualified to comment from the parent point of view re kids being ill etc. But I also work supporting small businesses and the demands on them from working parents are often impossible to met, even for the nicest and most flexible of employers. In a small company of say 6 employees, at least 4 will be parents all wanting flexible time and to work around their kids. It just isn't possible for an employer to tick all of those boxes and still run the business which provides the jobs for those parents. It's not an easy dilemma to resolve.
Working from home doesn't work for all jobs and indeed, all people, and I have dealt with many instances where one employee abuses this and so ruins it for everyone.

[FarAwayHills]

I pretty much have this by working with a small company. As PPs have said there's a huge element of trust and that takes time to build up. It also works both ways, I probably do the job of a full time person in part time hours so my employers are saving money which is a plus for them. When I am at work I do feel under pressure to get everything done and am constantly clock watching as I have to leave for pickup and sometimes that gets to me.

I also sacrificed a higher earning position with a larger company to reduce my hours and have this flexibility while DCs were young. Financially this hasn't been difficult but unfortunately there was no other option as DH works long hours and we have little family support.

[IAmNotAWitch]

My job is like that. Am in house counsel. I give a lot extra though when I can. So it works beautifully for all involved.

DH is full time but can also work from home when necessary. So sick kids are no longer an issue (they are older now as well).

It is the ability to work from home that makes the biggest difference.

And not having toddlers/babies.

[FarAwayHills]

*has been

[RortyCrankle]

The thing is, companies are created and run to make a profit. If you don't turn up with very little notice, in many cases that will impact on other staff, the completion of projects and the potential loss of profit, which may result in you not having a job at all. I think it's unrealistic to think companies should provide the degree of flexibility you are suggesting above.

That's before you even consider how pissed off other staff may be who may not have young children although may have other responsibilities. They are the ones left to pick up the pieces when you don't turn up or come in late or leave early or decide to work from home.

[treaclesoda]

I'm sympathetic to employers as I know it's a problem trying to balance everything. But what I would say is that where employers have a problem with one employee abusing work from home or whatever then it would be so much fairer if they tackled that problem with the individual (up to dismissal if necessary) than to just say 'that's it, flexible working doesn't work for us'.

[katiemarnie]

My husband does. He works in financial services as a manager. Works from home, sometimes will have to go out to meetings but can often Skype, very good holiday entitlement and pension etc.
Has been very family friendly.

[BabyHamster]

I used to be a civil servant and it was like this. The downside is you're usually paid less than you would be for the same job in the private sector, and there are very few other perks (a friend was shocked when she joined that there is no free breakfast/tea/coffee/biscuits, no paid for office parties even at Christmas, "team building days" mean being locked in a meeting room all day, basically there are no freebies at all!) And no pay rises. But for flexible working it can't be beaten.

Annoyingly I did that job before I had kids!!

[SellFridges]

I have this. I work from home whenever I feel like it, although as a team we try to go in on the same days. My hours are pretty flexible too - essentially I can work when I want. I do a few school drop offs and try to finish at 3 on Friday to meet DD from school. If either child is sick I can work around that too, although it helps that my DH is also super flexible.

[MrsGuyOfGisbo]

I had this in previous career ( now changed careers as kids older). I had worked for the company for 19 year before having DC and so built up trust a described by PP. I was in a senior well paid role in a male-dominated industry , and luckily coincided with advent of mobile phones etc, and so negotiated working form home and customer -facing in school hours and term time only. Bosses initially sceptical but worked extremely well. I did work In evenings when kids in bed etc, but a home. Did most of the drop offs and pickups, went to all assemblies, sports days etc so never had to miss a school thing, and if kids were sick was not an issue, although DH did sometime have to step in if I had a client presentation that day. Was wonderful and am so glad I had that time with my DC.
But that job and those conditions were negotiated would never have been advertised! It came through working for that company and already having the relationship with the management and clients.

[Fiddlefaddle2303]

My job is like this, I'm a commercial manager in the defence industry. I have a portfolio of projects and as long as I get my work done to a high standard my boss doesn't care where I do it. I wfh at least once a week ( I get loads more done than in the office).
I worked part time when the kids were younger.
I would say the only downside is I do tend to do a lot of work in the evenings ( over and above my normal hours) but this is my choice, and I get paid very well......

[onceyoupop]

My job is very flexible. However I believe it works both ways and I try to be flexible too. I almost always work over my contracted hours (!) which is always the nature of an interesting p/t role. I think to a degree it is down to the relationship with your manager. But obviously the organisation needs to have policies in around agile working and being family friendly. I work for an NGO. Definitely have found the third sector good for this, however it was always my preference to work for a charity. I think it is harder to climb the ladder for me as currently there are limits on how much is feasible with a young family.

[LunaAzul]

I work School hours from home - I applied for the job on the basis it was from home, and then renegotiated my hours after is been there a few months, down from three full time days to four school hour days.

[Liltzero]

I have this kind of flexibility working for a global corporate as a R&D manager. I work almost full time (I have Friday afternoon's off) and mostly work from home on this Friday. My employer provides the IT that means I can work anywhere with WiFi. It is the accepted culture that flexible working / agile working / time off for family emergencies etc is the norm. Hours worked are not tracked, in any case most people exceed their contracted hours.

[BitchQueen90]

I work part time as a support worker in a 24/7 job. I am very lucky in that I can choose which shifts I work as long as I let them know a month in advance. I usually work when my DS is with his father, usually evening/night/early morning shifts so I don't have to panic about childcare.

Honestly I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't do this as DS's dad also works shifts and my parents work full time so I have no one who could help with regular childcare. I am on a low wage and wraparound childcare is not easy to find. I can't do my job from home.

[user1487175389]

Yanbu and I wouldn't describe those things as 'perks'. The acknowledgement that our children come first when I'll, and that work is a means to an end should be universal and written into law (fat chance, quite frankly). And all jobs should offer time off during school holidays for those with children, because childcare simply isn't there in many places.

[Hoppinggreen]

Another good point a few people have made is that roles are rarely advertised as flexible.
My current role is a pt SE one but was advertised as a ft employed one.

[treaclesoda]

DH and I were just saying the other day that when we have worked in places with a degree of flexibility the employer definitely gets far more out of the staff. I have worked in places where hours and hours of unpaid overtime were expected, yet on the other hand if you had to take an hour out for a medical appointment you were expected to work an extra hour to make up the time (even though you had already done hours and hours of unpaid overtime that was apparently suddenly 'not the point'). Those were the places where people didn't pull their weight, didn't help their colleagues, spent ages in personal phone calls etc. The places with the flexibility have been the ones that get hours and hours of extra work out of people without complaint or feeling aggrieved.

[EmeraldIsle86]

I work for a large, global company. Due to the nature of the job, I can't do home working which would be nice.

But in other ways it's very family friendly. I work four days a week and there's no problem in switching my day off at short notice...great for making sure I'm at Easter parades and concerts and parent days so I've never missed one.

I've had a few late starts and worked the time back at my convenience. I have an hours lunch every day which I take late and use for school pick up/drop at cm, so I pick the dc up from school every day despite working near ft. Parents also have a week of full paid parental leave each year, on top of annual leave - if you go over your parental leave allowance but need more time off (last year with back to back chickenpox was an example), you either take the extra as annual leave, work the days back over the nevt month or take unpaid days, your choice.

I feel very fortunate tbh because I don't know anyone in other companies with this level of flexibility.

[dementedma]

user it's hardly the fault of employers that there isn't good child care available in the school holidays....And not really their responsibility. If you want/need to be at home with the dcs for all of the school holidays, then you have to get a job in education as it is the only sector which works around this timetable. If I gave all my staff time off during the holidays, there would be no-one there to run the business. ( And I include myself in this as my youngest is still at school)

[Acornantics]

I'm contracted to work 32 hours a week over 5 days, which is perfect for school hours, I can work from home occasionally if needed if DCs are sick or on holiday. I negotiated the hours during the interviews, knowing that I could do the job, and more, in the hours I proposed. When DCs are both at high school and walking to and from on their own, I'll probably increase hours slightly.

I'm very grateful for this flexibility and I consider myself very fortunate to find an employer that supports me in these ways. I know it's not the norm, but these forward thinking, trusting and supportive companies are out there.

[EmeraldIsle86]

However, it's important to note that even in my company which is flexible at 'policy' level with leave allowances etc, the additional flexibility of being allowed to switch days, start late, work time back is agreed or declined ad hoc...and it's very much a case of you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I have pretty much free reign with the things I mentioned but I work like a Trojan when I'm there, take on extra duties without being asked and where possible am flexible back in working a weekend day sometimes for a big event/productivity drive...which the department head is well aware of. I know plenty of others who do the same job who have been declined for flexible requests because they're unwilling to give anything extra back.