AIBU to think that flexible, family-friendly jobs do not exist.

[MothersRuinart]

A job where you don't get penalised for having to stay home with a sick child, either by having to use annual leave or take unpaid leave. A job where you can leave earlier or start later at a short notice and be able to work up the lost hours another time. A job that would allow you to work from home regularly and/or often and/or at short notice. A company or a work environment that doesn't resent you for having to miss workdays due to childcare issues. Where you're not overlooked for a promotion because you're a parent.

I've never worked for a company like that, neither have any of my friends as far as I know. Tbf, most problems would be solved if more companies allowed their staff to work from home more often or were more flexible with their hours.

I understand that there are jobs where flexibility is not an option but I think most jobs could be much more flexible than they are now.

[ThinkAboutItTomorrow]

I have a fairly flexible job. Can work at home quite a bit and flex with childcare issues etc.

But the flexibility runs both ways so I'll be travelling and not around at all 3 days this week, usually do 50 hours as standard

Not to be rude but too often I feel people want lots of flex from the company but then don't want to reciprocate. So want to leave early when a child is ill but can't stay late when it's called for and isn't too keen on working till midnight once the kids are in bed.

Being paid for output is the alternative but piece work is usually crazy amount of hours to get much income from.

[gemgemgemgemgem]

I go back to work tomorrow after a year of maternity leave 😭

[skerrywind]

basicbrown- I agree. Can you imagine this thread being run by men?

My OH took 24 hours off with the birth with each of our children. His career sailed on without interruption.

[treaclesoda]

What makes you think that SAHMs are considered lazy or that 'society' expects you to work?

Just about every thread on mumsnet for starters! I've been here for years and I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't seen comments about how working outside the home is important to set a good example, to teach children that everyone has to work etc. SAHMs are often told they are making life harder for other women.

There is a huge emphasis put on being a contributing member of society ie a payer of income tax, and a sahm doesn't meet that criteria either.

But the issue really is that for women no choice is ever right in the eyes of 'society'. Staying at home is wrong, working is wrong.

[emmakc1977]

This one has had me pondering! I've recently started my own business and have three kids (6,7 and 14). Now I'm an employer I see things a little differently, not that childcare issues would be a problem for me yet as my one employee doesn't have kids. However, if she did and she had to take random time off at short notice it would be a nightmare for me. The work still needs to be done. Also, it would strike me as a little unfair if the things mentioned in OP were more common place to those without children. Why should they have to pick up the slack for those needing short notice time off? I guess when I was employed I was very lucky as I have a lot of family support to help when mine were ill!

[falange]

I used to work somewhere like that but it wasn't the company policy, it was our fantastic boss who let people be really flexible. Unfortunately some people (childless) really took the piss out of her good nature which made me so cross. I do realise that she was a jewel of a boss and I miss her every day when I'm at work.

[DialUpMyNumber]

I've had two jobs like this and it was both down to having a great boss, not to the organisation.

[melj1213]

Not to be rude but too often I feel people want lots of flex from the company but then don't want to reciprocate. So want to leave early when a child is ill but can't stay late when it's called for and isn't too keen on working till midnight once the kids are in bed.

I agree ... so many people expect work to allow them flexi time when it allows them to arrive late/leave early because it suits their schedule , but if work asks them to arrive early or leave late because it suits the work schedule then they pitch a fit about the expectations they are putting on them!

I work in a supermarket, so I have no WfH option - I physically have to be in the store during my shift hours ... but if I need to move a few shifts around or leave early or come n late, my supervisors are really good about making things work since there's usually some way of shifting things round so that everything is still covered BUT it's only possible because other co-workers are willing to be flexible about staying for that extra hour or so.

So, when I am in the middle of a 10 hr shift and get asked if I could possibly stay an extra couple of hours because X can't come in, and my DD is having a sleepover that night and I have no plans for the evening, of course I will say yes. Would I rather finish on time and go home for a relaxing child-free night on the sofa in my PJs, a glass of wine and a pizza? Of course, but I acknowledge that if I want my co-workers to be flexible with their hours to cover for me when I can't come in, I have a duty to pull my weight and be flexible to cover theirs when they need cover too.

[MongerTruffle]

Mine's not far off being family friendly. As a teaching assistant I have school holidays off (if I were a teacher I would probably have to go in several times during the holidays). The only work I do outside of school hours is probably preparing resources at home (no more than 1 hour a week). The only downside is perhaps finishing at the same time as most other schools, making pick up times difficult.

[simi1428]

Those jobs do exist but are few and far in between - my company has a completely flexible work culture where we don't have adherence to strict work hours and our days off aren't counted,

I work as a digital program manager in an agency.

[Andrewofgg]

Emmakc1977 Mustn't a lot depend on the size of the business and the size of the workplace? The more people there are the easier it is to cover for each other when the need arises.

This can't all depend on law. I work in a happy and well-managed team where we look after each other. You can't legislate that into being.

[Basicbrown]

But the issue really is that for women no choice is ever right in the eyes of 'society'. Staying at home is wrong, working is wrong.

Well quite. Not to mention that for men the opposite is true, they are heroes for looking after children/ lifting a finger around the house and 'good providers' when they work .

[Conniedescending]

My job is like that. Work from home - can work if kids sick, plenty of leave, flexible hours

[justnowords]

I have a job nearly like that. I can get away whenever i need to for appts. etc. Relatively flexible working hours, some of our staff are students so hours change every couple of months to accomodate them. I am usually the one who also takes time off with the children if they are sick and i cant get alternative childcare. Cant work from home tho, but work is 5 minute walk away from my home so no need to, and if i really needed the time off, i would just ask for it. No unpaid sick days neither. The downside is that it is low paid. But there are somethings that money cant compensate for. And it shows with the length of service of our employees. Average time of employment for our staff was about 40+ years before the older ones retired. And a good working relationship with nearly everyone in the company. No sniping that so and so was off, or late, or child is sick too much. We all pitch in and do our bit to help each other.

[mumto2two]

With my first child, I had the perfect flex arrangement, but that was built on years of trust and very much a two way street. I gave far more than my job (and pay) required, and my conscientionous was very much from a position of wanting to keep the flexible status quo. I travelled more, worked more, there was a gradual shift towards needing more. I had a department of professionals to run, and while I managed to do it well, my child was missing her mum more & more. Our home was basically a stop pit for changing the wheels we constantly had in motion. Everything suffered in the end. And when things notched up a gear, just prior to the arrival of no. 2, I decided to take a break. Fast forward a few years, and we have a child with a long term genetic health condition, that totally prohibits any conscious notion of me ever going back to employment. With no family support on hand and a child who is ill far more frequently than most, there is no way I could commit to any fixed work agenda, and in my line of work, agenda really matters! Yes OP it's a tough one. I like so many others, have so much to offer, but the flexibility we need just often isn't there.

[Andrewofgg]

justnowords I have the good fortune to be in a team with a manager who in three years had achieved that atmosphere. We all help each other- including the people without dependents and those with them - and the work gets done and we all get by. I have to hope that she and I remain in the same posts till I retire because there are some real disasters I could be working for instead!

[pollymere]

My dh was upfront when he took his new job that he was our dd main carer. He takes her to school in the morning and works from home when she's I'll or there's an inset day. I'm there when she gets home and in the holidays as I work term time only. Flexible working is available whether it's for children or an elderly relative. You just need to explain why you need it.

[RubyWinterstorm]

Treaclesoda and basic, spot on

[farfallarocks]

Well I posted a job that is flexivle and family friendly and also very well
Paid on mumsnet jobs. I had the grand total of one, badly written and inappropriate response!

[farfallarocks]

Flexible!

[LellyMcKelly]

I'm a university lecturer, and as long as I'm not teaching or in a meeting my time is my own. This means I get to drop the kids off to school and pick them up 3 times a week BUT I get out the laptop most nights after they've gone to bed, and do a few hours most weekends. Apart from half terms, I do get most of the school holidays off, and although the pay isn't brilliant, it's really not too bad.

[zoeypoey]

I'm a community nurse and it's brilliant. My boss was very understanding when my son was hospitalised and I offered to take unpaid leave....but she wouldn't hear of it. I have bank holidays and Christmas off. I think it is give and take and if your boss is a human being...all the better. It hasn't always been the case though. Last job was horrendous..... Hour late at least coming home every night and when I had to go to court (long story...involving the ex) I had to take it as annual leave. Told my new boss and she was horrifief

[gingercoffee]

I also used to be a civil servant and my job had pretty much all the perks you describe. I left before I had children, but my colleagues could choose to do flexi-time, or work compressed hours so that they could be back in time to pick up their children, and work from home sometimes, which was great when their kids were off sick.

Now I work weekends and some evenings, which works fine for me, (although it wouldn't if I didn't have a partner who was around at those times). My husband is around when I work, and I am around during the week to do the school run, and to cover any sick-days off school. This kind of working pattern is also a good alternative to flexible week-day working.

[flowergrrl77]

My work are very accommodating, I only work 10am to 2pm and not every day of the week. If a child is sick, I stay home (paid) if a school is closed (snow/strike/other) I stay home. If I need an appointment, on those days I reschedule to work a different day, they've never said no!

What do I do? I work in a bank, customer assistant and till work.

[DuchessOfPodd]

Corporate America here, very flexible and family friendly, a dealbreaker for me...I am a people person and love to be with others so w@h can be hard for me. Only drawback is overseas travel and being at the mercy of GPs to help out or DH takes holiday off from his not very understanding employer.