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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think, No, i don't have to let them try on my expensive shoes?

306 replies

ClothEaredBint · 24/02/2017 14:59

I have a collection of expensive shoes, Irregular choice, they're upward of £80 a pair and most of them are sparkly as i like the glitter.

Obviously kids tend to gravitate to the glitter, and as i have them on display in my house, when i have a couple of friends over, the little girls like to ask to look and try them on.

I always say no, but my friend told me i'm being a bit mean, because "they're only shoes."

AIBU to think that not toys and they aren't going to like it if their kid manages to damage them and i ask them to replace them if they get scuffed or scratched? ITs not like it can be polished out or hidden, it'd spoil the look of the shoe.

I don't even let my own 8yo put them on as she'd fall flat on her face.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
QuestionableMouse · 24/02/2017 18:00

I didn't pay £80 for my irregular choice shoes.

bummymummy77 · 24/02/2017 18:01

Yanbu

I bought a pair of Ginas for my wedding and they cost £1000. My friend was very annoyed I wouldn't let her 3 year stomp around the house in them.

Yeah, fuck that. And you. Fuck you very much. Grin

kali110 · 24/02/2017 18:02

BH, the best thing you can do with Irregular Choice shoes is put them in the bin.
well you're not the one buying them are you Hmm
If op wants to display good for her!
I don't have any ir shoes anymore due to my disability, i do however have multiple bags! They are displayed in my bedroom!
I wouldn't let little kids play with them as i don't think parents would like to give me humdreds of pounds if they damaged them.
(Mind you your friend would probably call us mean as we have a lot of collectables that kids would love to play with and we wouldn't hesitate to say no Grin)

bummymummy77 · 24/02/2017 18:02

I hasten to add I haven't bought a pair of shoes since and that was almost 5 years ago. Grin

ShowMePotatoSalad · 24/02/2017 18:05

Lol why does OP have to put her shoes away? She can display them however she wants. It doesn't mean she's obligated to let people try them on.

I kept my art supplies out of sight of nephews and my BIL still found them and gave some of my erasers to older nephew who promptly bit them all in half. Hmm

No one has a right to touch your property just because they think they do and because they think you're mean. It's your choice to do with them as you please.

Dormouse200 · 24/02/2017 18:06

I know it's a cop out but could you chuck a throw over the book case when kids are around? Also jealous of the pretty shoes....

KawaiiReeChu · 24/02/2017 18:06

Hi, I also own irregular choice shoes and I would not let a child touch them as I know exactly how expensive they are and you can't repair them easily. I agree with you here OP

Original poster
ClothEaredBint · 24/02/2017 18:07

Good for you Questionable.. I didn't pay that for all over them.

The pair I have on I got in the sale for £36 down from £65. My Cherry Dazzles were also a sale purchase at £45.

I did pay full price for the others as they were bought when they were released.

@GwenStacyRocks no, there's no platform :)

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 24/02/2017 18:08

There was a time when irregular choice had an outlet section on their website sigh

bumsexatthebingo · 24/02/2017 18:08

The op doesn't have to put the shoes away but if you have shoes like look like adult size Disney dress up shoes it's not rocket science to think that a child might be interested in them. She COULD put a box of special chocolates she is saving on the coffee table as well and would be well within her rights to tell any child that they were hers and hers alone but why would you when they could be put away?

needmymouthsewnup · 24/02/2017 18:11

For all those who are fainting at the term shoe cabinet, do other people really not use that term?!

My whole life we've had 'shoe cabinets' and they have nothing to do with large glass display cases... maybe it's a regional thing, but my shoe cabinets are nothing more fancy than a small cupboard by the front door to stuff your shoes into so you don't trip over them... what do other people call them if not shoe cabinets? Genuinely interested!

SerialBodenReturner · 24/02/2017 18:27

Well, this thread has been an eye-opener.

'Not wearing heels for political reasons' Confused.

One woman's choice to display her shoes is a statement about 'all women' and our obsessions with shoes.

Not to mention the shoes in question which are mini works of art.

And YANBU, OP.

GwenStaceyRocks · 24/02/2017 18:29

Thanks, Cloth. I quite like them but have reached an age where the only heels I wear have platforms as they're so much more comfortable Grin

tigerdriverII · 24/02/2017 18:46

Political reasons: I love shoes and clothes and bags but I stopped wearing heels literally the day I observed ten stylish Spanish male lawyers stride purposefully into a meeting followed by three young female lawyers teetering around like legal Minnie Mice on ludicrous but no doubt spenny corporate heels. Since then I've dumped all my heels apart from the Kronkrons which I don't wear but I like to look at.

And as for dress codes that impose heels: pass the blood pressure tablets!

So that's what I meant.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 24/02/2017 18:46

OP, next time you bump into your mate you want to drop into the conversation about how you have a rampant plague of verrucas on both feet Wink

Iamastonished · 24/02/2017 18:51

"For all those who are fainting at the term shoe cabinet, do other people really not use that term"

No, we just have a shoe rack by the front door.

I must admit that I tend not to be a collector of anything. Comes from having a mother who hoarded collected so much stuff that it took weeks to sort out after she died.

Peanutandphoenix · 24/02/2017 18:55

Op I absolutely love your shoes I am so jealous I would buy all those shoes if it wasn't for the fact that I have a problem with my feet that stops me from wearing heels. Enjoy your gorgeous shoes and YANBU to say no to your friends kids expensive shoes are not toys and I highly doubt your friends would be willing to replace them if they got damaged.

pinkyredrose · 24/02/2017 19:00

babybythesea I should think your friends very glad you avoid taking your child there. Maybe your precious kid should be taught not to ask for other people's things when in thier house and also what the word no means.

strawberryblondebint · 24/02/2017 19:12

Op are you on the Facebook group. I spend hrs on there. I love all the ones you listed. Sadly I only have my wedding shoes (cut grass mebbe). Fantastic lows. A black pair of dazzle razzle and a pair of poetic licence whose name escapes me. I love lazy river. I want them so badly.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 24/02/2017 19:16

Photo of the shoe cabinet is an absolute necessity at this point please Smile

onalongsabbatical · 24/02/2017 19:28

My daughter's wedding shoes on her very own feet. Don't visitors understand the difference between something that's special and you want to say no about and your old shoes lying round in the hall? Of course YANBU! As someone else said, if you had precious first edition books you're not giving them to mucky-pawed kids to look at (I have a lot of books, I identify with this...). As for don't have them on display - it's her house and her shoes - why not? Other people have books, china, pictures - she likes shoes - HER CHOICE.

To think, No, i don't have to let them try on my expensive shoes?
CheeseCrackersAndWine · 24/02/2017 19:53

I don't think it matters what it is that's on display or how much it cost to be honest. If you don't want kids to use them that is fair enough.

Personally, if it was me, I'd let the kids have a little shot of them with supervision, but equally if it were my kids asking in someone's house they would be told no & expected to get over it relatively fuss free!

GrandDesespoir · 24/02/2017 19:57

Oh, Irregular Choice is a brand. Confused Blush

babybythesea · 24/02/2017 19:58

My kids do know both what no means and that you can't have everything you want. But sometimes, especially when they are learning, they still tantrum. It doesn't mean they get what they want - in fact they are tantruming precisely because I don't back down. But if the point of the visit is to have a good relaxed chat with my mate, then it's not going to happen if my child is throwing a fit. In which case, and if you can't remove the object that is causing the problem, aren't you better to see your friend elsewhere for a bit?
By the same token, DD went through a phase of 'helping' with my shopping by running up and down the shelves, throwing random things in to the basket. She'd have been around 2. I dealt with it by putting her in the trolley seat and ignoring the strop. And then avoiding taking her shopping as much as possible. And eventually she both grew out of that particular phase, and learnt that as a rule of thumb I meant what I said.
Short term, I avoided it as much as possible. Pick your battles. It won't be a battle that lasts forever and if it's causing tension and you can't concentrate on your conversation then avoid that situation for a bit.

I don't think the snide comments about my precious child were necessary. Doesn't everyone pick their battles?
My eldest is now 8. She's easy to have around now - polite, does what she's told, and no longer feels the need to run laps round B&Q so I don't avoid taking her there any more. But she's strong willed, so as a tot we had loads of tantrums when told no. She learnt. I just didn't take her to a situation that was avoidable if it was a) setting her up for massive failure and b) not going to be enjoyable for anyone, me included. My youngest is 3. We're getting there but there are still places it's just not worth taking her yet. We will. But if she's going to tantrum I'd rather she didn't do it while I'm trying to hang out with a mate.

welshmist · 24/02/2017 19:59

My friend bought a pair of Jimmy Choos for her wedding, I would not dare try them on, in fact they were so gorgeous if mine I would probably keep them under a glass dome and just stare at them Grin