To think, No, i don't have to let them try on my expensive shoes?

[ClothEaredBint]

I have a collection of expensive shoes, Irregular choice, they're upward of £80 a pair and most of them are sparkly as i like the glitter.

Obviously kids tend to gravitate to the glitter, and as i have them on display in my house, when i have a couple of friends over, the little girls like to ask to look and try them on.

I always say no, but my friend told me i'm being a bit mean, because "they're only shoes."

AIBU to think that not toys and they aren't going to like it if their kid manages to damage them and i ask them to replace them if they get scuffed or scratched? ITs not like it can be polished out or hidden, it'd spoil the look of the shoe.

I don't even let my own 8yo put them on as she'd fall flat on her face.

YANBU OP. I don't hold with this idea that if a child sees something,they have to touch it/play with it. They need to learn that they aren't automatically entitled to play with something just because they can see it. I used to get hacked off with my exSIL when she visited,with her 2 very badly behaved children. She expected me to rearrange loads of stuff,put things out of sight or reach,to the point where it was ridiculous. No I am not switching the gas fire off,it's got a fire guard on it for Christ's sake! And no I am not hiding the cat's feeding bowls in case your little darling decides he wants Go Cat for lunch.

Well your house, your rules so your friend should have backed you up. But I would have been thinking the same as her tbh. Letting a little girl try them on while sitting or letting her take a few steps while you hold her hand is hardly likely to cause damage to shoe or child and would probably have made her very happy.

I haven't spent more than about £25 on a pair of shoes in a long long time, I think the most expensive I own are a pair of DM's that cost me £100 16 years ago, that I still wear.

So £75+ for a pair of shoes is quite a lot to me now :) The Tick Tocks were £130.

Yes I do wear them, its just when I take them off, they get the soles wiped and then put on the shelf, rather than in the box.

Posted too soon. I expect I will get shot down in flames for saying it but it's little wonder that some kids grow up with such a sense of entitlement if they are never told that 'no means no'. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

And is it just me who was visualising one of those plastic things with loads of pockets in that you hang over a door when I read 'on display'

Can I come and prance about in your lovely shoes? Pleeeeeeese!

@ClothEaredBint what do you think of Joe Brown's rip-off versions of IC shoes?

Equally if someone had a dolls house displayed in their house which technically is a "toy" I wouldn't expect them to allow visiting kids to play with it

They're not just shoes, they're items you collect. I wouldn't expect anyone to allow my child to play with items which are precious to them. YANBU, OP.

@Emmgeddon tbh, I thought they looked more like they're trying to rip off Ruby Shoo. (which I also have, lol)

They're alright, I can't walk on the thin heels though, a friend had a pair she let me have, but I didn't get on with them. They're comfy enough though.

"They're not just shoes, they're items you collect."

But they get worn occasionally as well don't they?

I have a few pairs of IC shoes and there is no way I'd be letting kids prance around in them. They are mine and not for sharing. I make no apologies for this and neither should the OP.

When the mother comes around with her kids and they ask again to wear your shoes just say no again, OP. When the mother bellyaches that this is mean explain you're teaching the kids an important life lesson - you can't get everything you want. If she isn't happy with this I'd send her on her way. If she can't appreciate how important the shoes are to you and feels the kids are entitled to wear them then I would happily dump her. Beautiful shoes are for life, not for entitled kids to play with.

Enjoy your shoes, OP.

PrivatePike, I like them, the last time I wore them it was to see the DHT at my DS's school, and he complimented them, so :p lol.

Iamastonished

I have a display of antique irons in my house. Despite this I am not obessed with ironing.

Tell me - am I letting down the sisterhood?

Obsessed ^^ obviously.

Lochan I'm glad you're not eating them

I do understand the dilemma :)

Do the Nick of Time ones have a platform? I can't tell from the pics.

I'm not keen, now I've seen a picture.

But the fact remains, these belong to op. And if she basically says : "when you come to my house for a play date you can touch everything, except these", then those are the rules. What's mean?
Why are we treating children in such an entitled way? That we think it's ok for them to do what they want/touch what they want, when they come round?

While you are entitled, absolutely, to not want kids to try on your shoes, and I'd also be saying no, I can see another side to this.

I take my very young child round to see my friend. The child sees something they like and the answer is no. Child has a fit. That's fine, they need to learn. However, if this becomes a regular occurrence (and it might - children are creatures of habit), I might decide that until my child has grown up a bit (so 6 months or so down the line) and has either got better at not chucking a fit when told no, or has just outgrown the desire to try on the shoes, it's not worth going to my friend's house. Pick your battles. Some things you can't avoid and you have to dig your heels in and face the hissy fit but if every visit to a place means you spend your whole time dealing with a tantruming kid, and not being able to talk to your friend, then I'd be avoiding that place for a bit, until that stage was over. It doesn't mean you are letting your child walk all over you, or giving in to their every demand, just that life is to short to be battling over every little thing and sometimes it's best not to put yourself in that situation in the first place.
In that case, it would be lovely if my friend moved her shoes, at least for a while. So we could visit in peace. If not. Maybe going to her house isn't the easy relaxed option for the time being.

I don't know if this is how it pans out but it was what struck me readin the thread.

I love those silvery shoes! I am envious, OP. Sadly I have huge feet and I feel that I can´t carry off brightly coloued shoes.

I think you are absolutely in the right to say no. Children need to learn to respect other people´s property and their desire to keep it for themselves. They don´t have a right to try everything that takes their fancy.

So you avoid saying No - by avoiding said place? Well that works until the next No! So you avoid that place ... you're not going to have many places to visit are you?

natienka are those not pairs?

Middleclass

Not great for the teeth...