To wonder how single mums do it??

[Mammylamb]

Not being goady, honestly. But how can single mums cope on their own?? Especially those who are working outside the house too??? Full of admiration, but genuinely think I would struggle, but quite clearly many women successfully manage it

You just have to its bloody hard and you just exist most days lol but you get on with it

Oh yea, my house was never tidy haha

You jut get on with it, and be organised, me and dh work FT plus hours, dh also has his own business, and we run a charted football club. Our DC are in various sports clubs that we have to get them to also. Ds1 is an academy footballer, so hes also super busy.

Currently I can be on here as ds1 is staying over at a friends tonight and is doing a group activity in the afternoon, and then staying at another mates house on Friday night and then at another birthday sleepover on Saturday night, we will only see him taking him to each activity/sleepover.

Ds2 is at activities, however he is sleeping at home on the evenings. Your busy, however if your organised you, you manage. We also meal prepare and batch cook, I love my slow cooker also.

I second that ghosty, there is always one

You just have to plod on. I've always been a single working parent so it is the norm for me. It is utterly shit sometimes if you're ill, and I have had some awful nights where I felt very alone and sometimes scared when son was teething/sick and wouldn't stop crying, especially as a young baby. He's 5 now, so not so bad as he can communicate what's wrong!
I imagine it would be quite difficult though to go from a relationship to a single parent. Especially if the other person was a hands on and helpful with the children.

Iamfried I've been there with a headache so bad I couldn't move off the sofa and I wanted to hide in the dark with a 2yr old wandering about, she survived on biscuits . Ditto when ill, luckily hasn't happened too often.

littlefrog we don't all need housing benefits or our council tax paid and I pay for my own house/garden repairs and I've never not paid for school trips etc, I don't even take free school meals for my son even though all 4-6yr olds are entitled to them these days.

You seem to be implying all single parents are grabby, we are'nt.

Single mother to 4 checking in.

The hardest bit is the realisation that everything around you is your responsibility. Nobody else is going to take that bin out, or phone the insurance, or go get milk or cook a meal. That's all on you. It can be lonely. The worst bit is I miss watching TV with another adult. You go to laugh at something and then realise you're the only one there. That gets hard.

Still would rather this than be unhappy with someone else.

You just do it.

What's the alternative?

Just to debunk the scrounging single parent myth even further...I claim nothing and on top of that pay school fees. 2 dcs.

Single parents are as varied as partnered. Assumptions can't be made.

Beth

I was in your position last year. Its a nightmare. Couples honestly have no idea how damn hard it is. I certainly didn't.

Ignore the GF too. They're clueless.

There is a massive difference too between being single with a dad who pulls some weight and being completely on your own out of an abusive relationship.

We do it because we love them and we have do.

You do it because you have to. ExDH walked out a year ago. It's easier in many ways as I'd been caring for him through his serious mental illness. Now that weight is gone. He has DD regularly, which means I get to have a bit of a life. I work full-time and then some. The bit I miss is the emotional back-up. And hugs from a partner.

I find i'm often suprised by what I can do when I have to. Such as pushing a baby out my fanjo, who knew?!
I don't know, I find it annoying when people ask tbh. It's my normal. And no, my standards aren't low!
I should add though, my parents are wonderful and very supportive. I am aware I am very lucky in that respect.
And, to echo pp, when your previous experience was doing it all by yourself and dealing with an abusive twat, just doing it by yourself minus the twat is an awful lot easier. And come to think of it, other people are much more supportive now he's not about too.

I haven't a fucking clue.

Me and DH have demanding jobs, full time and I'm just Mumsnetting whilst I'm waiting for a massive file to save - still working.

We have DD in full time nursery which she loves, we have a cleaner and I am shattered all the time and I drink too much because of the stress of it all too. Parents dead though one AMAZEBALLS granny, but we're very far away.

I'm under P at the moment and lots of family stuff going on, so I'm up the walls.

I cannot comprehend how single parents do it. 🥂 to you all.

We do it because we have to. But it's very hard work and can be very lonely. Having said that I wouldn't change it now, and my soon to be 4 year old is amazing.

Having exH around was more stressful.
I suppose at the baby stage it"s harder.
It also helps to have flexible hours, be able to work from home and a decent salary.
And not be too bothered with extreme cleaning. :)

Haha just read back to the frog. There's always one

I also claim nothing now although I had to when I first ranaway from exh. Had to run before the bastard killed me. I've brought up dd on my own with a little help from my Mum and the people at Womens Aid.
I cope because I have to

I just do everything very quickly and several things at once. Tonight I got home from work, did 2 loads of washing, changed beds, baked biscuits, made packed lunches, helped with homework and cooked dinner before actually sitting down. Just remembered I need to get bins out

I find it much harder when I stop tbh. Sometimes I get near burnout (stressful job) and cut back to minimum effort for a few days and get lots of sleep. I'm so used to doing everything myself it feels weird now to have any help. I was thinking just today how strange it will be when the dcs are old enough that I don't have to do this anymore. In a decade my life will be totally different

Some people are such twunts. Really, utter twunts.

To littlefrog, why didn't you split up with your husband then if it's so much better being a lone parent?

Abusive ex h hasn't been about in years. I wish some of these posters would fuck off too. And two parents working FT Is. Not. The. Same.

Yep. Just get on with it. Not sure how successful I was.

No benefits (except child benefit and you would have got that too littlefrog !). no family. ex moved 400 miles away. DCs were both under 3.

I managed because I had a fab CM, brilliant friends, and eventually a job which paid less than my outgoings to start with but gradually increased.

The hardest bit was no one being there who cared for your kids as much as you do. The fear of losing that one source of income. No one to share your pride at good school results, or school play, or any of the achievements. Yes, I'd freedom and total control over my DCs' lives but that doesn't detract from how bloody hard it was.

Thanks for this thread as it's cheered me right up this evening. It is hard, you just get used to it. That recognition on here has meant a lot to me today

Don't want to come across as patronising or anything remotely like that but I think single mums are bloody heroes. I only have DS and I seriously have no idea how I'd cope without knowing DH is coming home some days. To go to work and raise a child on your own deserves a medal and a hell of a lot of respect

Because you have to. But don't sweat the small stuff. Having said that my house is pretty spotless because I just cannot relax till it's done. I have 4, and they all help a huge amount. We are a great team.

Its not always easy being the dc of single parents either.

I respect and admire single parents as my mum was one. I do see now my own dc have two parents how much easier it is for them to stay kids.